


Adapted Coping

by TheTrashHandler



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Aoba is understandably cynical, Depression, Dubious Morality, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Everyone Has Issues, Extremely Dubious Consent, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Sanity, M/M, Mind Games, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence, Smut, Toxic Romance, Unrequited Love, Violence, Violent Thoughts, major canon character death(s), mild physical torture, seriously, suicidal undertones, triggers everywhere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:40:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 80,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7382236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTrashHandler/pseuds/TheTrashHandler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first to hear was Aoba, it came in the form of scraping and cracking. After a long time, Virus started hearing shattering and ringing whenever he was alone. Trip, who was the last, however, had stopped hearing at all, and he almost wished for the noises to return.</p>
<p>Five years had slowly passed since Aoba’s abduction, and lately he felt his will rise, he had made a dangerous turn and tested the cold waters. Virus and trip, albeit frustrated, still loved their slave that they, in their delusions, had come to view as their “fiancé” and "lover." They certainly stayed true to their promise of treasuring him. They all had one common thing going for them, though- someone was hunting them, and that person was far worse than all their disturbed minds combined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise greetings

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe I’m making this puddle of trash public, but if I have a story the size of a small novel on my computer then I might as well share it with my fellow vitriao sufferers.  
> Ahh, I am so conflicted about this.  
> Now, on a serious note; I’ll be saying that you are responsible for what you choose to read (if given proper warnings beforehand, of course!) This story handles subjects that are serious triggers for some (most?) people, and will most likely make your whole neighborhood disgusted. It's important to consider your mental health, and the last thing I want is for my work to cause harm to others. If you are repulsed by this ship or the idea of reading smut with strong non-con elements, then I recommend you skip this story.  
> Also, I’ll try my best to not glorify or excuse vitri’s actions, people who actually act out things like this in real life are sick and repulsive. However, this is completely fictional. Either way, please proceed with caution.

The chains were tugged on gently with intent of awaking me. Unclear lashes twisted; fluttering slightly at the sensation. I was too tired to avow any soberness to the monster above. I laid unmoving, like there was a conscious attempt to imitate my still existence. 

The second yank was punishment, the black collar strangled a gasp out of dismantled vocals. The heart sank as the monochrome interior greeted me, with mockery. The nervous system was waking up, my senses, my brain, all loyal servers of pain. 

That’s not the main reason for intense misery, though.

“Hey! Aoba, wake up now. Did you know, breakfast was apparently the most important meal of the day?” 

This man, no- human was a bringer of that. The only thing worthy of acknowledgement is our shared species. Any more would be desperate afterthoughts, no humanity was apparent in that guy. I couldn’t even communicate with him properly, anymore. Could I ever? I really do wonder…

“Heh, I brought some stuff you liked. You know… a brand you enjoyed from back in the day.” 

My heart ached, it felt like the words had done physical damage. Did he reference the past to make me hurt, or was that his dangerous naïveté? the time I would have considered him a… friend. Someone I could pass time with, eat with and talk with. Now…

“N-no…” I spoke out protests, they all had completely invincible impact on him. 

“Sit up.” Trip commanded with his usual monotone, that voice felt like a void.

When failed to respond adequately enough, the black leather on my choker was once again served to guide by threats of strangulation. Its punishing bounds dragged by the neck, forcing me to the unwanted destination. I was cradled up in Trip’s arms, back pressed against his stomach. I knew what he was going to do, and I hated it.

“Eat.”

That was something that had come to sound like a siren, warning me about upcoming danger. Something was pressed insistently against my mouth. I opened a bit up, wanting to get it over with fast. However, he gave no time to chew as the food was thrust straight into its destination. I wasn’t surprised, but I could never possibly get used to that jarring treatment.

“u-UFHG-GHU-!” 

I held onto his upper arm, trying to bruise him so he could understand how pain felt, when that didn’t affect him I would turn around as much as I could in an attempt to show him the fear. My eyes pleaded through heaved agony. 

But still…

“Open your mouth more.”

Even when he saw the pink eyes, he didn’t see the situation through their perspective, he didn’t get that this truly hurt. He shoved more of the food into my mouth.

Nothing gave him an impact as I shook and gagged.

“U-ghuu-gh-hic-mff…”

I had been too scared and tired to focus on what Trip was feeding into me. Needing some kind of thoughts- I registered the texture, seemed a bit salty. It was dry at the bottom, something wet, flavorless and hard. Bread at the top. In the middle of its now crunched structure was something that felt like meat… this must be some sort of sandwich? 

“That should be enough...”

As he pulled away the offensive hand, I could indeed confirm I was right by looking at the squashed remains in Trip’s hand.

Removing the other restricting hand from my jaw, he let my sobbing slip free. He smiled vaguely, seemingly satisfied. It had been a relenting fight between me and them, when I fought for the only escape route I had. Yet through months of discipline and torture it had been impossible to starve myself to freedom. 

They got under my skin to make it that way. Intravenously was their answer to my hunger strike, claiming they would never let their “dear” Aoba perish from hunger, even if it came down to forcefully keeping me alive so indignantly.

Virus was surprisingly knowing with medical theory and teachings, and with that, he gleefully took time explaining every possible worst-case scenario. 

The sensation of antiseptics being coldly rubbed on my skin felt like being spat on. It served as a mocking reminder there was no way out. I accepted the food over the nutrient bag, the day they offered a meal grandmother used to make for me back then. I was crying throughout the whole ordeal. They however, were overjoyed that I finally submitted to their will. 

I felt a chill going up my spine. I was still sitting on Trip’s lap, and the fabric of his pants had tightened considerably since the force-feeding took place. 

I didn’t move, paralyzed by crumbs of wasted hopes and prayers. I had decided, since the beginning on trying to decipher these guys. I would never give up freedom for those man-children, even if it’s the last thing I’d commit myself to. I just had to tell myself: one more day. It could make it possible to get out of this hell if I understood more about my captors’ mental state. I just need patience- the one thing at my disposal was time. 

So far time had given me some experience: resisting made him aggressive and rough, obeying made him gentler, yet bullied my reassignment to no end. Right now, I was way too sore from the brutality that took place last night. He tightened his grip on me when I finally attempted to move. By now it was obvious he had made the decision I hoped he would have derailed from. Welter let out a growl when I got a bit too enthusiastic about pulling away.

I was already naked, the unflattering feeling of him was even more noticeable. I figured that if I did not do something soon my now clenched-up area would prevent me from sitting properly for weeks. Since resisting always caused harassment to happened, I had to accept him.

I closed off the little distance we had, wriggling around to face him. My heart was running a marathon. I meet his gaze- dark and unpredictable. I held eyes with him, time having stopped, then leaned in and pressed my lips against his.

My ears registered scraping as his nails dug into my scalp and yanked me away. I stared at Trip. I was balancing on the line of panicking right there. I refused to let my terrified state show, repressing it down to a look of being tensed and confused- Surprisingly, if only for a split second, he shared that look. Did he hate the kiss? Was he going to hurt me? Why did he yank me off of him?

“Do it again,”

…What?

Did I say or think that just now? Perplexed at the way he behaved, I momentarily lost senses. Well, more than that, I was coated in something I had come to give a name: tensed attentiveness. Right now that feeling drove me to the point of malfunctioning.

“Do it again, Aoba.” This time a smile formed.

I did as asked, out of fear and relief. Kissing him gently at first, then gradually started opening my mouth and traced his lips with my tongue. He seemed much more eager, and roughly pushed his own tongue into my mouth. That might have been a way of him saying he was growing impatient. I didn’t want to take any risk with that impulsive-driven doll. 

Distancing myself from the situation as much as possible, I started rubbing him over the fabric of his pants. His grip around my back and head tightened on impact, making the degraded slave gasp. Pathetic. I let out another moan from wrestling through the groggy mud manifested from the shame until I was finally able to undo his belt. My attempts to keep him from entering my ravished cavity had so far been successful, but I had to step up the game to keep it that way. As much as I hated it, I broke the kiss to move down… 

“What are y…?” He asked,

His voice did not express much emotion, but still reflected annoyance from my withdrawal.

“Mhh,” I made a sound as means to replace dialogue.

I looked down at his erection before looking back up at him, signaling what I had in mind. He tilted his head sideways, thinking for a second, then his face lit up.

“A-hah.” He smirked, looking down at me.

I could see his heat increase. I took his dick completely out, forcing myself to look into his eyes. I was moments away from slapping myself to keep my cool, but didn’t dare to- two beasts were watching me, and hurting myself was a major offence. I licked the dominant hand to gain fraction. I then grabbed the base of his cock and started moving my hand up and down. 

“h-…! ... gh..,”

He held breaths in. I started placing my lips on his throbbing area, squeezing a bit with my hand while doing so. I didn’t need to lick my hand any more, he had already started producing pre-cum when I placed my mouth upon him. He put a hand on my head, I didn’t like it when he touched me so demandingly. I pulled a bit away, needing some distance.

“…Do you remember what a… slut I used to be?” I felt like death was favorable over this, but maybe it could leave him dormant… if only for a second.

“… Heh…” He looked down at me, somewhat amused.

“Why did you never approach me? I’d… probably have done you in a heartbeat. Would it be invaluable to you, since I was so loose and didn’t commit back then?” I forced myself to say, trying to mask my insincere lip-service.

He looked generally interested in what I was saying, focusing on keeping his breath steady as I nervously quickened the pace. 

“That’s… somewhat right, Aoba, you would have forgotten about-! it… considering how often you played around. Well, h- even if you hadn’t, you would have after we erased your memories…”

“Well, you… would never have forgotten it."

I took his whole dick in as deep as my throat would let me.

“…Gh-m…” His voice became notably shaky from the sudden attack.

That was good, it meant he liked dirty talking. I contracted my throat to the limit, starting to choke on him. I endured it, knowing it would be over faster. It was hard shielding my teeth when my body craved air, but I was able to avoid anything other than the silky insides of my mouth coming in contact with him. His fluids mixed with my own were dripping from my chin, onto my collarbones. It was an unpleasant sensation, but the liquids made moving easier. 

With my own spit mixing in with pre-cum, gliding fast was so easy that I got dizzy from my exaggerated movements. I moved up, gripping him tightly, sucking in a modicum of air, then resuming the delicate assault. 

“…haa…, you’re being so good today. It’s so cute when you’re obedient, Aooba. Are you finally adapting?” 

I tried omitting the satisfaction his tone held to keep my shame docile. I bobbed my head up and down more intensely, trying to produce a distracting headache. It would hardly be more before hopefully going back to the only safe haven I had. Since I was not clouded in arousal, I could attempt to figure out some more things about him. It wasn’t some big stunt, just some very vague analyzing. Reaching out with my free hand towards his, I looked at him through intentionally submissive eyes. He took his hand in mine as they touched, I squeezed it in return as I sucked him off even harder. 

“..h… I’m going to-!” He wasn’t able to finish the sentence as my mouth was filled up.

I wondered if reaching for his hand was what triggered it. He looked down at me, now curious about the “decision” I was forced to make. I opened my mouth, allowing him to see that I had swallowed. I could hear him whispering my name in a somewhat hoarse voice. I tried getting up, but he forcefully gripped my chain, patting me gently on the head as he spoke.

“I love you, Aoba. I’m so glad we’re always together.” Trip had an enthusiastic tone in his usually empty voice. 

I only heard that voice coated in emotion whenever I myself was hollow. Did he steal away my happiness to feel something for himself? It didn’t matter anymore. He undid the choker, and stroked the curves of my neck and shoulders. I waited for him to let go, then got on the mattress, hoping I could rest a bit before he came to collect me. 

The world got obscured through unsatisfied eyelids, giving my pupils a chance to rest again. I could hear faint footsteps. I was alarmed, noting the lack of a door sounding his arrival. Was he there the whole…?

“Hmm, Aoba san has never done that willingly before. How was it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t kinkshame me, I already know how bad this ship is, my mind screams; this is immoral in a manner that if we take the time to reflect over your culture and upbri-but then my body says; ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Seriously... you trip once, say aoubch and before you know it you’re infected with a sickening virus. Well, I’ve learned a lot about brainwashing, ptsd, manipulation, torture and cognitive psychology, though. (E-eeeh, yay for me? ;__;”)  
> The story has a somewhat happy/bittersweet ending, but the relationship will naturally be dysfunctional and poisonous, there might be some OOC moments too, I’ve planned to make them change for better or worse throughout the events that take place.  
> The story already has 54 pages, but I have to edit a lot before I post the next chapters. I've planned for the story to be rather long, so be prepared!  
> ALSO! otp is safe from death, just in case anyone was worrying about the character death warning.


	2. Uncertain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A minor conflict happened, and Aoba was still perplexed by the unpredictable behavior.

“Heeeh, I thought you were the one being so obsessed with knocking? Such a hypocrite.” 

“I would have if the door wasn’t open,” Virus retorted through a sigh.

I was too embarrassed to sleep now that my hypothesis was confirmed, but still took this opportunity to pretend having dozed off. Still, this was bad. Virus was a reader, not just theoretically. He was always reading- expressions, wordings, screaming, voices; he read it all. If he had heard the whole discourse, then he had also seen resistance. 

“So then, what did you do to make Aoba san take the initiative?” Virus asked with cold interest.

“Aoba did that unprovoked, it was after we were done eating.” 

“It’s good that Aoba san is finally becoming used to eating, maybe we should throw away the feeding tubes?” 

He was going to go that far if I kept refusing to eat? I worked hard to keep my body docile when that revelation was unknowingly announced into this suffocating hell.

“I don’t know, still seems to be resisting a lot.” Trip replied.

“Any more news concerning that person’s influence?” 

“Yes, apparently he scored a deal with the country’s president. Well, that’s the information we got from that unfortunate politician.” Virus said nonchalantly.

“Hmm, who was framed for that incident, anyway?”

“Some thugs with a criminal record strong enough to convince the police.”

“Ahh, so that’s why you wanted me to send those guys up there.”

“Precisely, it was much easier to convince the deputy chief that way, it’s good we took some of that memory-modifying technology with us.”

I had an involuntary spasm as I eavesdropped on them. Their voices felt like jolts of electricity burning through my bones and skull. Of course they would figure out how to maneuver themselves up into a powerful position, but people like them having influence over the justice system is just…. just… 

“Are you awake, Aoba san?” The voice changed pitch.

I became distraught when realizing he had noticed the movement created by my tensed muscles. The change was so carefully reflected in the folds of the duvet. How could he have noticed? His eyesight was better than one would initially believe from the four-eyed demon. Sitting up without opening my lids, I hesitated- indulging myself in the toxic silence I was forced to break. Like they always do before, before…

They indulge themselves in me.

“Yes…”

Crack

His lips split open forming a smile. It was convincing, I wonder if anyone still alive has seen it as a grimace. Are you as done for as me when you finally realize that the smile is a lying distraction? Probably not. Like his previous victims we all have one thing in common, we’re dead. I am murdered, just like them. I’ve been since they caught me. He just keeps my corpse as a hunter keeps a deer after taxidermy. I’m the only one he kept after having shot the rifle. I’m the only death he cherishes, and I feel excluded from all the lucky souls that were left behind and allowed access to kingdom come. I’m still here rotting in his cold hands… while they’re blooming from the soil they were left in. 

I let myself continue on with these pitiful reflections, drowning in desperate self-pity as he- with almost mind-reading mockery, gently took my hand and brought me to the bedside. 

He leaned his shoulder in so I could balance up. Before I had any chance to stand properly, Trip, with little regard, picked me up with both hands. He held me with scorching palms pressed under my legs and back. I subconsciously rested my head on his chest, not regretting it until he kissed my forehead. I retracted my head and decided to look back at Virus. I wondered if I was being slow again and he had signaled Trip over. I looked at Virus expecting him to be all smiles- he however, reflected an almost choleric glare towards his partner-in-crime. Despite the momentary annoyance not being directed at me, I still shivered in Trip’s hold. He noticed my fear and turned towards Virus as well.

“Why are you holding Aoba san?” A demure atmosphere was created as the words fell from his mouth like charcoal.

“I want to bring Aoba to your room, that’s all,” They stared each other down in a tensed interval of silence. “Look, I usually give you more time with him in the mornings before coming to get him.” He finished his reasoning.

“You always disturb my time after we’re done for the night to loom over him.” Virus replied with slight impatience. 

I did know that he did that at times, but every day?! I shook. Trip, almost reading my mind, tried to argue with who was going too far.

“And you sometimes call while we’re in the middle of the act.”

A sigh was heard, resigning to the idea of me being carried over the hall. They rarely had fights- this could barely be classified as one, either, it’s so emotionless. Yet there was a small conflict, those were quite rare between the two of them. They had a system they never broke, but the small lines were sometimes pushed and played with on both sides. Why he felt like holding me to the point of balancing on that line now, I had no idea. 

While walking through the dark hall I could feel the modicum of salvia from his kiss turning icy as we closed to Virus’s room. Their footsteps were uneven, creating a rhythm I had grown to fear. When the final steps were taken it brought the unwritten symphony to a halt.

“All right, now let go of Aoba san?” His voice echoed slightly, now back to the usual tone.

“Yes, yes,” He slowly removed his hand from under my knees, giving my bare feet time to adjust to the cold floor. I was met in an embrace from my other captor, feeling the texture of his blazer and tie, the burning palm placed on my back left and left the abandoned spot cold. “See you tomorrow, Aooba.” 

My name was stretched out by his voice as well as the corridors reverb, footsteps yet again starting before fading out. Then everything went radio silent. 

“Over here, Aoba san.” Virus said, sensually gliding his hands down my shoulders, turning me around. 

He carefully pushed me into the room, locking the door. There was a certain amount of pressure in that click that had me strained. He seemed angry. He never showed it, but through all these regrettable years I had learned what he does when he’s in a bad mood. Sometimes it’s a simple flicker in his eyes, sometimes it’s a cold voice, and then sometimes when I am out of bounds it’s… 

I stopped myself from thinking further. It won’t happen again if I obey, that’s what he told me. He won’t shut me in there again if do as I’m told. That “lesson” had taken place years ago, so why could I still hear nails against metal?

“On the bed.” He commanded.

I became solidified. No, no.

Please, no!

I made movements similar to an injured puppy as I dragged myself over to the edge of the mattress, watching the white glow of the pillows in an attempt to dissociate. I had gotten on my knees so I could recover properly from such acts just a minute ago. Was all that humiliation for naught? Hands were swiftly pressed against my back as I was facing the black sheets. I tumbled onto the far too familiar creaking springs. I could not act to him like I had acted towards Trip. He would see straight through my actions; he may even punish me for disobedience if I tried coercing him into doing something different. 

I could do disobedient things like trash the kitchen or pour soap on the pavement, but trying to fool them, violently resist them or have thoughts of escaping? That’s just too much. Five damn years and he was still obsessed with removing my independency.  
“Please, my insides hurt,” I couldn’t help myself. I was cornered by him, this was a last resort. I broke into a cold sweat while begging him not to have me. “I’m way too sore, I still hurt! Please!” 

There was something wet dripping off my cheek… was I crying? I didn’t know, I was too desperate to contemplate it further. A finger was placed under my chin, guiding my head towards the owners face. He looked at me blankly, and then… 

Crack.

“So that’s why you were being so playful and coy earlier… He wanted more of you after seeing your asphyxiated face. That guy…” He paused with an annoyed sigh, his expression faltering to boot. Eyes were being slowly lidded at me when I dared focus on him. His smile came back, looking real this time. “Was he too rough with my dear Aoba san? Don’t worry, as I’ve said many times before, I would never damage your beautiful body. I was simply curious over your sudden change in behavior earlier, I needed some confirmation for my theory, that’s all. We’ll be going slow tonight. Hold no uneasiness.”

It felt like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders. He was not going to rip me to shreds as punishment. With that in mind I rested my head on one of the ridiculously comfortable pillows. The bed creaked before I had fully closed my eyes. A body closed in behind me, breathing quietly in my ear when all distance was eradicated. It felt uncomfortable with his fully clothed body cuddling against my naked back. I let it be, knowing nothing I did would improve the situation.

His hand was placed gently on my face, catching the tear that had spilled from the previous panic. His usually lifeless hands felt warm as he wiped my tear away. I decided to give in to his gentle touches and closed my eyes. He stroked my cheek all too gently, part of me wanted to kiss and cuddle with the deranged bastard. I melted under the gentleness of the duvet and pillows, his arms warming and soothing me into sleep. 

Then his hand dropped from my face and snaked its way down my waist, stopping at the hipbone, his index finger rubbing gently over it, caressing the sensitive skin between my belly and thigh. His hand was also closing in on my…

“Y-you said there wasn’t going to be- “ 

“Sex, and yes, you’re right. we’ll just play a little bit. I’ll make you feel good. I figured you deserved a reward for getting yourself out of that situation without my… sustenance, one could say? Hmm…” He ripped me away from the gentleness, knowing he had referenced the starving period half-a-year ago. “Still, pretending to sleep to avoid me and playing with a man’s emotions are very cruel things to do, Aoba San.”

He forcefully grabbed my softness, stroking it harshly. Even with my growing discomfort, it hardened like it was under his will. His words had caught me off guard, I wondered through foggy arousal if it was him or Trip he had referenced with the second remark. I did however know that had I been aware he had been watching I wouldn’t have done anything at all.

He made me feel even more naked than I already am. It’s not enough to undress me physically- he has to do it mentally as well. That’s why I don’t talk to him or even look at him, unless I absolutely have to. He truly scared me, more than that goddamn snake of his ever would. 

Even so, the last years I had not been able to despise him. In the beginning I would deny that possibility… but was that a power I still possessed? He’s trying to make me acknowledge him romantically, fortunately the thought of loving him still causes nausea. He’s skilled at manipulating, even now I knew that. Now he wanted me to want him. The scary part was that he would make that wish come true. I’m trapped, only being able to communicate with two people. They make me feel safe when I obey, and when they have sex with me I usually feel relieved. The harshest part of the torture is already finished at that point, so, me wanting them sexually is already checked off the list. I had come to accept the physical attraction, but holding emotions for them would be my end. Did they even torture me anymore? The worst physical torment was the sex, wasn’t it?

I hated this.

When my heart indicated any kind of affection towards him, I had to scream the same things to myself until my heart shattered under the pressure: It’s his fault Mizuki was a vegetable in the hospital, it’s his fault I’ll never see my Granny again, it’s his fault I’ve become this dirty, disgusting freak. It’s his fault I’m about to cum in a torturer, rapist and murderers hand.

“Aoba san, you’re so tense. Relax your body more, please. This is meant to feel good.” He said lowly… seducing.

He kissed my earlobe as he sped up the hand grasping around my delicacy. Somehow his other hand had found its way to my chest without me noticing, playing and prodding at my nipple. 

“Uhh-h-h… -hgu.” With no shame left my voice became loose. 

He chuckled in my ear, mocking me, thereafter Giving my cock a tight squeeze, moving his hand even faster. Pearls of pre-cum were probably scattered all over the mattress. The cover over us gathered even more of our heat together. I was ready to come. I arched my hips into his hand without hesitation, heated up by lust. He pinched my nipple and caught a strand of my hair with his mouth. Biting and sucking it harshly, I had come to react positively to the sensation. The hand abandoned my nipple and moved down to his other occupied hand. Placing them both around me and moved unevenly around my shaft in a gentle- yet determined motion.

Then he harshly pressed his thumb harshly on the head of my cock, not enough to make me soft, yet enough to ruin the orgasm. 

He started teasing me by abandoning my needy dick, nails gently scraping downwards, and moved further down to play with an even more sensitive area. He rarely touched me there, so I felt incredibly uncomfortable when he started fondling it- moving it slowly in his hands with a circular motion. He was gentle and made it good, but I still hated him touching me someplace that vulnerable. I just hoped he could stop it soon, and return to touching me where I wanted it the most. 

Now I get it, he wants me to beg. 

“Do you want me to touch you here instead?” He moved up and stroked over my erection again, before returning back to my balls, leaving me to produce another frustrated groan. “You’ll have to kiss me, Aoba san.”

I had no reason to resist Virus anymore, I just wanted this to end. I tried turning towards him. Seeing as my back was pressed against his stomach, this turned into a bit of an awkward position, but I soon succeeded in conjoining our lips. He made no dominating moves, probably expecting me to take full initiative. I ran my tongue over his closed lips, kissing him in a way I hoped he would like. It was a straining position to be in for a long time, so I soon faltered.

Unexpectedly, he pressed my crotch, making me produce humiliating sounds like I was a squeeze-toy in a dog’s mouth. He invaded my mouth on cue, taking every whimper and noise away. One hand gripped my dick again, the other clutching my back so we could continue making out in the impure sheets. I felt a big sense of relief. This was going to be over soon. I let his tongue twirl around mine as he played with the head, moving up and down skillfully, genially trying to make this into a reward.

I came in his hand seconds later, moaning satisfied into his mouth, conjointly gripping his shirt from the intense sensation. I felt him smile under my lips before withdrawing.

“Fufu, what a good boy you’ve been. I recommend you sleep for a bit, I am holding off for now so you can rest up for tonight. I’ll be going to work, you behave yourself now.” He said, looking down on my shameful appearance with a smile.

Before leaving, he kissed me one more time and re-adjusted the covers around my body, informing me about the water on the table if I got thirsty, saying there was a type of cream in the bathroom that would help my soreness if it became too bad, telling me how much he “loved” me. 

None of it mattered when the pillow was there to seduce me into solace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly very nervous at first, but I'm relieved that I wasn't burned for writing this. Thank you for every kudos, bookmarks and views! I really appreciate it. ^^


	3. A vague intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba wakes from the pain that he had received from the other day, he goes into to the bathroom in a sleepy haze to look for the pain-reducing cream- he finds more than he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit more messed up, and also very long.

The room was big, the lack of objects served to amplify that fact. I had never paid any heed to the interior or its overly “mood-setting” design. From day one the surroundings had been buried under worse things- being subjected to constant humiliation makes it hard to care for delicate details concerning the interior design. At first I wasn’t even permitted to leave the room on my own, and that somehow made me even less observant.

Now that they’ve eased up on their disciplinary ways I could dwell around relatively freely- either with the animals’ supervision, or them themselves. When my eyes had been subjugated to darkly shaded blindfolds the place had felt like an endless maze as they dragged me around. Being allowed to step out of their respective place’s by myself made it easier for me to create a mental map- a feeling if you will- of my prison. I didn’t really understand the concept of mazes, why do people like being lost in overwhelming places? A thing I had come to learn, however, was that they were much less effective once you knew the layout, and that’s the first step to escape from the path that lead you astray. Yet it seems like, for me, this would only be a modicum of effective planning when it came to escaping. There were many more things than just misleading paths in my labyrinth. It came with an ever-changing overgrowth that would hinder my chances of escape completely, and behind me there were many things, both known and unknown dangers chasing after me.

In times where fear was minute it would be replaced with eeriness, this place was truly large, I bet the bed cost more than my old room did. How they upheld this place without the outside society butting in, I had no idea. They always seem to be one step ahead, therefore the hope of escaping was drowned up by reality’s noisy frequency.

_They were just too elusive to be caught._

I remembered why I was awake in the first place as my thighs made a gradual shift… my ass was on fire. That goddamn feline creature had stung me hard when I wriggled too much in Trip’s hold the other day. He rarely did it anymore, only when I’d act on resistant thoughts- pulling away, screaming, hitting- those were grounds for bringing Welter in. Trip thinks it’s cute or provoking, but it really only is cutting and horrible when he shoves the robots paw up my sorry ass. The claws didn’t help in the slightest. Certainly not now. 

My heels felt dry and ragged as they meet the smooth surface of the checkers floor. The pattern on the ground made me sick with dread. The one thing that was better about Trip’s room was the lack of this sickening pattern. I’d also take the burning sugar over the bitter alcohol that couldn’t even get me drunk. Only a spinning dizziness was derived, with an aftertaste as appealing as battery acid. 

He locked the wine in when no one was home to watch me, I tried signaling how little the risk of me stealing wine was, but he didn’t listen. To me it was bitter grape juice- no, it’s like rape juice the more I think of its use. If I had heard someone say that to me six years ago I’d probably have burst into laughter and disbelief, or maybe I’d be disgusted? No, I would have found it childish. Now it was just verifiable, there wasn’t anything funny or embarrassing about having such immature thoughts. 

Did I have that view on the liquid before? Wasn’t it something one would drink when it called for celebration? When I had consumed it with my grandmother it tasted pure and sophisticated. There was something symbolic about the act, the fact that I treated her with my own work-money after having gotten myself together… Wine had been a pure thing to me, maybe that’s why it has come to taste so bitter now. reminiscing about the hard times or the brighter future was a subject we both hinted at under dramatic tones and actions, and my usually grumpy old granny seemed… Happy.

Is she still drinking the good type of wine, the pure type?

“… Damn.”

I hung my head. These memories were resurfacing, why now? I didn’t want this sadness to accumulate when I was only starting off becoming the docile house-wife they always wanted. Sorrow does prove that I’m still alive, yet it hurts so much. There’s no one around to help me get through this. The same fate as the brother I will never know. 

*Hic-c* 

“Oh, God…” I attempted to put power in my voice to appear strong, but it all came out as a ragged, low whine.

Who was I trying to act tough for anyway? The interior? I put my face in my hands in an attempt to hide, hoping everyone were fine back in Japan. I imagined Koujaku smoking outside on a hot summer day. Waiting for me to wake up from his hot-headed allmate. My granny preparing food in the kitchen for us. Was Clear still alright with his face? Did Noiz take care of himself? Had Mink at the very least made it out alive? 

Ren…

A shiver broke me out of my hopeless head. Something coiled around my belly. Hersha. It’s going to kick me while I’m down? It hissed its tongue against my chest, hugging my torso. He wasn’t around, so this made me even more anxious. It just stayed like that for a while, only moving its head up to lick my quivering face. It squeezed my torso after a whole minute of nothingness. My heartbeats only increased and I tensed harder than ever before. It left me then, crawling back to where it came from.

Was I too boring for it?

I made myself to the bathroom. I took my time observing the walls when I arrived. It was brighter in here than in the bedroom, still a dark shade, but not black. I felt up my face, wanting to shave the little amount of stubs on my chin. They usually do it for me, probably to remind me that daily human functions were also going to be controlled. I fortunately didn’t feel much in my body hair, only my head hair seemed to have actual nerves running through them. When asked for a comparison I would say that shaving body-hair felt like the tip of the nail being trimmed, if it was hair being brutally pulled off it would feel similar to the base of a nail getting ripped off. In a way I was grateful for that, I would have looked like a blue Santa Claus if all my hair was as sensitive as the strands on my head. 

Fuck it. They can’t punish me for shaving my face. I tried opening the cabinet, it wouldn’t bulge. Locked? Why the hell would he lock shaving equipment away from me? Is he that obsessed with being a practicing nurse at a retiring home for amputees? I let out a paltry chuckle at that idea, a bit taken aback at my own behavior right afterwards. I shrugged my insolent mind off, hoping it could stay dormant and less active. The less I felt the easier.

The aching in my behind was still hard and present as ever -yet in a way it helped drown out the threats of sadness- I did want to go back to sleep, though. And the cream wasn’t the only thing I had to shove up my ass to get through this.

Again with that immaturity, forceful thoughts were dangerous ones, the ones that trivialized or over-analyzed the situation. Those would make my head big, and then I might not be able to support my weight. I looked on the sink table, it was so generic that I wanted to puke in it to bring some realism. The tube stood there, something which prompted me forward. The only information the syntax gave me was that Japan was very far away. 

I turned my head to the other side, then…

I saw it.

Four edges, cubic-shaped, fitted with iron locks.

_Currently nothing resided inside it._

I jumped back with my scrawny legs. I was usually blindfolded when they brought me to bathe jizz and sweat off- and that was very rarely done in this room. Their places both had bathrooms, and after I had been inside that goddamn box I was too disturbed to go in here without begging for a blindfold. I didn’t know why I wanted to see less, maybe because I wasn’t blindfolded under the torture, but now it was obvious that it was more than that. I hadn’t seen it properly from the outside before. I closed in despite the trail of tears turning icy, on the side of the box there was some sort of small device. It was turned off, I closed in on it to inspect the platinum-colored thing. This was a… recorder. 

I never noticed it… My heart pumped blood fast into my brain, but failed to provide any constructive thoughts. My kneecaps hit the floor with a thump. Hesitation described my movements accurately as I lifted the recording device up with a clam hand. I recognized that brand from back in my old workplace… I worked in a junkshop, so expensive products weren’t exactly on high demand. They were illegalized in certain districts when gangs exploited them to monitor turfs and territories with the live mode. 

It felt like a minor epiphany as I retold the information to myself. The past still laid in shards, poking into my flesh anytime I acknowledged them, therefore maneuvering myself around the edges without contact was the right path to take. When I didn’t the brutal edges would be felt, they were being very forceful today. I restrained another tear. I swallowed while gathering all my courage, and pressed ON.

WELCOME- DO YOU WISH TO LOOK OVER PAST JOURNAL ENTRIES?

I shook, the withheld tear was emptied from the jarring electricity. My eyelids flapped like a damaged butterfly. Journal entries? In a recorder? I accepted the question with YES. It redirected me to a list of notes posted under the recorded files. I saw the option to filter the list. I started checking on the oldest sound clip. 

Duration: 30 Hours

I obviously didn’t have time for that, so I scrolled straight to the notes that were delicately arranged under the sound-file. The formatting wasn’t the best, but it was convenient enough

00:00:00  
_He has admirable strength being able to keep quiet for so long alone in a confined space. Heartbeats are rapidly increasing on the 02:12:08 mark. He goes into a full panic attack at 03:40:05, he starts trying to pry open the lid of the box. Screams are desperate and signify a great deal of stress._  


So this was how he monitored me, the recorder had been placed on the outside of the box so Virus could watch my faltering state. This was used like a reversed baby-alarm, instead of coming when I started screaming he would come when I stopped. Something about that notion frightened the hell out of me, and it was just now I realized the danger of my actions. I turned around in a swift motion, feeling like he was standing behind me with the intent to push me in. With too much curiosity I moved my finger to the second timestamp. 

_“h-h-h-h-h-h-hhgggg-HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… Please please please let me out out out out!! I’ll do whatever you want, just please please please please please please!!! Hggggaaaaaaaaaaa.”_

A persons horrified voice echoed, it sounded like he was being dismantled limb-by-limb with the edge of an office-paper. It was my voice. I immediately shut the track off when my reflexes kicked in. A lump in my throat formed. I moved on to the second track fast, trying to ignore the shock of hearing my own voice screaming with scraping nails and pounding increasing the unneeded horror. I made sure to mute the sound, on top of that I also pulled the time-mark back to the beginning.

05:00:00  
_He has currently broken down again. I may have to stay closer to ensure he doesn’t get serious physical problems with breathing. Shock has proven to get the better of humans on multiple occasions and I won’t risk him dying. On 05:45:09 He starts (judging from the noise,) banging his head and fists on the walls. He screams the names of past friends. He occasionally shouts for me as well._  


No reaction at all. I couldn’t remember any of this happening, I must have blacked out or repressed it.

07:00:00  
_It appears he has given up trying to escape. At 07:55:33 he has broken completely both mentally and physically. He begs me to forgive him. He tells me he would do anything to receive my forgiveness. This lesson is going better than I thought it would. I can’t be absent from my room any longer. There are serious health risks at play._  


I felt sick. I could feel his satisfaction oozing through the words.

20:00:00  
_No notable changes have happened until the 20:07:40 mark. He might be going insane from the lack of outside stimuli. He has an impressive amount of mental power to stay sane for almost 20 hours of intense sensory deprivation and stress position torture. The best thing is that his body and mind is doing all the work for me. When I get him out, the worst physical effects will be damaged fists, nails and tensed muscles that will hopefully only cause slight problems in the long run. His mental state is another story. He has been screaming about hallucinations which borders dangerously on manic behavior. Occasionally he sings songs, the only thing I could catch was something about swaying. His voice is small and weak, he only occasionally shouts now, he has spasms from time to time. I should consider letting him out sooner than I first wanted to, I hoped he would last two days, but he won’t survive that in the state he is in now._  


Swaying? Oh God. Oh God! I remembered that song’s origins. I remembered how I desperately tried calming myself by singing that song! 

The image of bloodied nails and hoarse screaming flashed in my head straight after the epiphany. I made my way to the sink in a desperate hurry. I vomited up the food I had eaten this morning. What a big pile of irony. I caught eye of my own reflection- seriously disgusting. Snot, vomit, and tears covered my red face. I looked away from the person in the mirror and turned on the spring. I washed it off before taking the recorder in my hands again. I just now realized the most shocking of all, what had been staring at me since I started reading.

30 hours.

I grabbed the skin cream and went out of the bathroom, engulfed in the rarity of rage and betrayal. He had lied. He told me three days on purpose. He archived my reactions and observed me getting tortured with no regrets even after I was freed from the box. I didn’t think I could ever walk into this room ever again- even with the naiveté of a blindfold. Why was it placed in such an open space? A new realization engraved itself in my head. 

He wanted me to find that recorder.

I threw my body onto the bed and tried collecting my thoughts. My fingers rubbed harshly against my eyes in an attempt to distract from the mental pain. It took minutes to regain myself. I finally went up and got the bottle on the table. Instead of drinking, I held it over my face, letting the coldness freshen me up as it splashed onto me before staining the floor. 

I put a finger under the object I had gotten from the bathroom next. I opened up the lid of the tube I had been clutching this whole time, rubbing it on my fingers. It glided in easily and soon created a small itch. I supposed it was part of the healing. Once half the tube was emptied I finally felt the pain subside between my thighs. 

I knew he would be back to quench his thirst. “Sleep” and “escaping” were the best verbs I had committed myself to in the last years. I drifted off with only one thought pounding in the back of my head: 

I hoped I wouldn’t hear the scraping.

I awoke with the door thumping at the entrance. No, not a thump. Maybe it was the door. A fear of pain in my behind was yet again rising to the surface, but when I moved my thighs no pain came forth. That moisturizer had done wonders. I might be able to handle this. 

“Aoba san, we’re home! I hope you rested well.”

“We’re back, Aoba.”

As feared, their figures both crawled out of the darkness and revealed themselves to me. I brazed myself for the inevitable, hoping this was a day they were going to have it with me normally. They positioned themselves on either side of me and fell closer until I was pressed harshly between them. 

“Ah? Is there something wrong, Aoba san? Your heartbeats are faster than usual.” He observed more than questioned my state.

“Is it maybe that you’re feeling a bit too… confined?” He closed his face in. 

“A-ah…” The noise was impossible to contain. I pressed my back into the bed as a last resort to increase distance.

“Hehe! You’re so adorable when you’re scared, Aoba.” 

I looked at Trip bewildered. Ignoring the growing smile, his face was just as unreadable as ever. There was nowhere to look, I closed my eyes so the demure appearance could be withheld.

“I must say I agree, but you were too rough with our precious Aoba san yesterday. Remember he only has one body, and we have to cherish it. No matter how much we want to tear into him and leave him bruised, marked and permanently damaged.” Virus sounded like he was growing increasingly enamored the more he talked about hurting me.

He pulled me to him demandingly, there was no choice but to comply with his movements.

“Come, sit on my lap, Aoba san.” 

I did what he asked without opposition, the pants felt rough against the paled thighs. He took both his hands on my ass and exposed the entrance. I felt an increasing urge to slap his hands away, but he would find ways to make me suffer much more if I even tried. He had more strength than I had anticipated when my lower half was lifted in the air with minimal effort. 

My head was pulled down by gravity, I fell on his chest. We were both lying down at this point, seeing as we had both slipped completely onto the bed. I could feel his upper body rising and falling slowly compared to mine, which was filled with spasms created from anxiety and heavy breathing. It was times like those the differences we had became obvious. His heartbeats seemed a bit uneven, but not enough to reflect nervousness or stress. His body was healthy. Why was it I that had to feel the consequences caused by their actions? 

I looked up at Virus, his glasses were shining brightly from this angle, light was camouflaging his eyes. He wasn’t facing me, but was instead looking towards Trip’s direction. I think he was signaling him over. Like expected, Trip was soon behind me. I knew he was looking. I hated it. I wanted to kick him hard and make a run for the door. Virus retracted his thumbs around my hole, spreading me further out.

“Ugh!..Sto-o-!” I tried to quiet down my pleading. I knew it was useless.

“As cute as he may be like this I think it’s worth noting that half the cream I left for him was used up. There are also still scars inside of him now. Only use the lion like that when necessary, Trip.” He let go of me and the rest of my body fell on his clothed legs. His voice was cold as usual when talking to his partner. 

I was grabbed a second time, this time being dragged towards Trip. His breath was warm against my neck.

“I’m sorry about that, Aoba. It’s just that you keep pushing my self-control with those cute moans of yours. I love you, and it’s easier for me to give you affection when you’re already tired and prepared for me.” He whispered in my ear.

His hand was wrapped against my waist, moving his upper body away somewhere. His chest pressed against me again when he returned his hand, holding something. I could only get a quick glimpse, but was convinced he was holding the body-cream I had used earlier.

“I think doing this should make up for it.” Trip said.

“Well, it’s certainly a clever idea to use it, but that is very expensive and also a waste.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t buy the rarest and expensive type out there.”

“I won’t buy some cheap half-decent product for my Aoba san.” 

I tried blocking out their conversation as it only enhanced the suspense and embarrassment. The arm around me disappeared, dropping me onto the black covering the sheets. I held my breath, trying to prepare mentally for whatever was to come.

Someone positioned themselves behind me. Shuffling was heard in advance of a blindfold being put over my eyes.

“… Uh?” 

“Don’t worry, Aoba san. Nothing bad will ensue.” Virus assured softly.

I heard noises in the distance. I had no ability to deduce what was taking place, dread creeped over me. Virus’ voice was in front of me, so I assumed Trip was the source. I succumbed to my instincts and reached for the blindfold. The hand was hurriedly grabbed from behind before I could remove anything. My face lay buried in the bed, unmoving as I didn’t know what to do. My other hand was grabbed with no presage, both hands got trussed together and bound. My arms got bound by a very potent material. I felt alarmed by the current string of actions. 

“Easy now, Aoba. You’ll feel amazing by the time this is over.” Trip’s voice was right over my head.

Something squirted against my ass ahead of something warm and hard meeting with it. I already knew what it was and made fists with my restricted hands. I felt Trip rub himself against me to assure I was ready.

“We’re starting now, okay?” I heard him say.

Not that I could deny him that, anyway. His dick was pushed into me with little effort. It was covered in something. I could feel an unnatural coldness around his heat. He thrust a bit out before going in again, this time going completely to the hilt. Not before long I felt an itch.

Fuck.

When I used it previously I applied it slowly, and in small quantities. Trip had used harsh amounts, making it painful for me. He didn’t move, which made the itching even less bearable. I shuddered, feeling cornered by this turn of events. Did I have to move to end the annoying pain?

I felt that was the better option to take. I started rocking myself against him, I knew Virus was watching all this take place. It didn’t matter. For once I was able to vilipend him from the situation entirely.

I grew delighted when Trip finally thrust back into me. His strength was definitely beyond my own pathetic movements. He gripped my hips tight and went straight for the kill. I felt all previous discomfort intersect with the expanding pleasure as he thrust harder. His lechery only increased when my voice couldn’t take it anymore. My whole being lost itself in the sensation of being lovingly screwed (up) by him. Even without the blindfold I wouldn’t have be able to see my surroundings. 

“…Hg… Aoba, is it good?”

My carnal instincts had gotten the better of me, I was barely able to hear him. My body was enveloped in an unwanted amount of pleasure. Soon I would cum and the arousal would subside. I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. 

“A-hhu a-a-a! Ugh- “ 

I felt it so much, the limit was pushed further and further until I finally came. Trip was much calmer, starting to move slowly after I reached my end, giving me a break.

“Fufu, seems like Aoba san enjoys it.” Virus renewed his existence.

I felt the smell of wine roll into my nose. It wasn’t poured on me, very unusual. There was something cold touching me before removing the blindfold. He really did have an unnatural coldness to his being. 

The sight before me was a stark contrast to anything icy.

Virus had poured wine on himself, his unbuttoned, wet shirt revealed his decently toned body. It was further complimented by the ambient illumination produced by the lamps. He peered down at me with a calm face. I couldn’t meet his eyes properly, however averting my eyes downward in an attempt to look away was stupid. Drops of alcohol had rolled onto his crotch as well. This made the sight even more lewd and embarrassing.

“Now, now. Don’t go acting coy on me, Aoba san. Take my hospitality with affability.” He failed to conceal the excitement.

I didn’t wish to touch him at all. It felt like I would catch on fire if I made contact. Having Trip hold me from behind didn’t give any relief. I felt a shiver from his relentless movements and turned empty headed.

“Ag-aah.” I yelped as Virus dragged my head up by the hair.  
I focused on him again, wondering what he would do. He smiled cruelly at me.

“Hey, Trip.” Virus said, out of the blue.

“...Eh?” He responded, seemingly more interested in plowing me.

“It’s quite impressive how good Aoba san is at controlling himself,” He started off, my face now being caressed and stroked. “But it’s also really important to realize that sometimes he can be quite…”

He looked down at me, somehow I realized straight away, he was going to snitch on me having played Trip this morning. I couldn’t let that happen, who knows how Trip would react. 

I went for Virus’s belt without thinking, my body running on autopilot. I took his manhood out, and didn’t even waste time on preparing my reflexes. I took him in deep, elongating his pause from the sentence.

“…Hg… hmm… He can be… what?” Trip asked impatiently, thrusting in.

“Uh… ghm… fragile, it’s important to not push him too hard. He’s really trying his best to please us right now.” Virus finally said.

Thank God, he stopped at that. If I hadn’t felt so relived, his hypocrisy would have made me spit his bitten-off dick onto his face. Fortunately, they had disillusioned me by the consequences of such an act. So much so that I wanted to be forgiven for my violent thoughts just moments after thinking it.

“Uh-huh, I know already. No need rubbing it in any longer.” Trip answered sullenly. 

Virus grabbed my hair and lugged me forward brutally, suffocating me. It was embarrassing to face the fact midst this depravity; this was the second time I had given someone head today. My eyes lost vision, my face was probably redder than the wine I tasted on Virus. Trip sped up his pace again. I got drunk on pleasure as they continuously reveled themselves deeper into my body. 

I was a mess of lust and desperation equally, I enjoyed their members impaling me. Trip seemed to restrain his movements even while digging his fingers in my hips, like he was more focused on the cream getting properly absorbed- but his attempts stopped when I thrust my hips back at his. Virus got more aggressive when he saw that my priority was trip, and yanked me hard towards his dick. I gagged, detecting something ejecting into my mouth. I swallowed Virus’ liquids in an act of intended submission, looking at him in hopes that he would forgive me. I felt liquids in my ass, too. Well, the itch was certainly gone. Trip was right about me getting relived, I truly felt satisfied by the gentle fucking. They stayed in for a bit longer to catch their breaths, then pulled out, laying me down on the bed.

“Trip, our agreement?” Virus said.

“Oh, yes. I’ll be going now, Aoba. I want to stay, but we made a deal. I love you a lot.” Trip explained with minimal detail, he leaned down to kissed me.

I spaced out until I felt the air hit the place where the bondage had been.

I looked around, eyes saying one last goodbye to the interior as they lost sight by heavy lids. Virus had already cuddled up against me, the taste of him still on my lips made it seem like he was all I could feel. His arm got around my waist, the other one resting under my head.

“You’re certainly working hard for someone so frail, Aoba san.” He whispered, I barely caught the words.

I closed my eyes, too tired to care for the implications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a risk by making it so that he was in the box for a shorter time than stated in-game, but at the same time I wanted to implement it in the story. I honestly belive he wasn't in there for three days, it may have been possible to survive, but it would be dangerous. No water or food for three days? Aoba whom was probably already very food-deprived could very likely have died by a mixture of shock and starvation. Even though Virus is by all means a horrible person I don't think he would risk Aoba being killed by his "lesson", he did take the time to escape the country for him, after all. It would also be very easy to lie about the time, and I always thought that could have been a possibility considering how manipulative Virus is. I may be completely wrong, though. It wouldn't surprise me either way. This is simpy my headcanon on it, and it is fan-fiction after all.
> 
> Thanks for the previous comments, it's a joy to read feedback. The next chapter will be from another person's perspective.


	4. Rankings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virus has a busy work day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is violence in this chapter, and some disturbing implications.
> 
> there are also some unofficial characters. If you don't like that then do not worry, they are not going to be taking up much focus in the story, and are more there to show the outside surroundings.

4:00AM

Registering the electric shine caused me to huff. It was still two hours until I had to go. I could either be productive and get up early, or stay in bed and have a bit more time to feel warm and carefree.

When I gazed over my petite lover the decision had already been made, still merged and tucked with fluids from the nightly activities. _How indecent, Aoba san, keeping me from being productive._ His frail heart was beating a rhythm similar to that of a lullaby. Rolling to him, I pulled his being closer, an act of impulse I suppose. His body felt so fragile and weak, that feeling was only furthered when holding him against anything else- especially myself. I couldn’t help but feel a fragment of guilt for the things done to his once healthy body. On the other hand, It’s simply a necessity to break off his will and hope, to adjust him properly, no matter how agonizing the process was. I had made some drastic precautions to enlighten him about consequences. Not because my patience was lacking, I may be “callous,” but I’m not completely cruel. I knew how a typical human acted, and Aoba san had been a peculiarly sensitive case. I’ve always been soft with him because of that.

Of course my Aoba san would disagree, but he doesn’t know how bad it can truly get. I gave him a small taste of reality that time, and he in turn learned a valuable lesson. The fact that he still remembers after almost five years proves that. I made sure to use a punishment I knew would scare- but not completely break him. My final goal had never been for him to become a doll, but if he does end up like that, he does. I’ll love him either way.

I remember having locked someone else up prior, and that was certainly not for educational purposes- I intended to let him die. Those methods were effective to instill fear in gangs, a way to warn them. The man was rescued almost three days afterwards. The place I left him was certainly not discreet, a solid trashcan in a dark discreet alleyway wasn’t all that closed off. Back there, police would not interfere with us, so that made it easier. The newspaper the next week had given some very interesting information. I read the news detailing his recovery. He had according to the papers gotten heavy signs of claustrophobia, crippling anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress. The man had been interviewed, even going into detail about eating rotted trash.

I couldn’t help but smile when I first read it, humans truly were fragile. The aspect that left me confused was the matter concerning the interest reporters had in documenting the life of a low life gang member. Mentally unstable people were no rarity, and there were many other shocking things they could have filled the pages with. I figured out in time who was behind ordering that news team, the same man that ordered me to lock that very gang member in the trash - Toue.

I didn’t exactly care for Toue. He hadn’t been a relevant part of my life for almost five years. At last, he walked into it unannounced yet again. Japan clearly wasn’t enough for my former superior.

No, there were many things that weren’t enough for Toue, Sei san being one of them. I didn’t feel love towards Sei san the same way I did for Aoba san, so the reported death was nothing more than depressing news to me. I did admire and respect him, yet I couldn’t say there was any attraction or relationship surpassing that of a professional one. It was like hearing your favorite celebrity had died, it had me down, but it wasn’t life ruining. I did shelter that tragic information from Aoba san, he seemed to extract motivation from fantasizing over saving his older brother. There was no doubt about that. Any time we mentioned him, Aoba san would tense up and get especially vulnerable. There was something a bit sad about that. Especially since the one he lives for is now dead. If he were to know, there might not be anything left to fill Aoba san with motivation or hope, and that could become dangerous for his health.

Under the influence of conscience, I pulled Aoba san closer.

“-!...h…mh.” A cute whimper was produced from my constricting grip.

I eased my embrace, not wanting to wake Aoba san from his peaceful sleep. I felt up his curves instead, stopping when my hand met his hair. Attempting to replace my need to embrace him harder, I touched him carefully. The blue locks formed an enticing pattern, seducing me further. His voice would moan out like he was tempting me, moving around gently and warmly.

I didn’t care to fight with my needs anymore. I tightened my grip on him again, this time the groan was more audible. His sleep would probably be filled with distress because of the tight hold, yet I didn’t mind that. I had after all, vowed to both myself and Aoba san that I’d adapt him to us. This was a part of that process, eventually he would get used to this as well. I did this for the both of us, and he would eventually learn to understand that.

With a smile, I closed my eyes.

“Ugh-! You shitty fucks! I’ll kill the both of yo- “

Trip’s fist collided with the loudmouthed cop. Even five meters apart I could hear a crack upon the impact. I hoped for a broken nose, if the trauma to the head was cognate with injury it would interfere with the memory removal. I gave out a huff as I worked to appear calm in this hectic situation. I blinked one last time to calm my rather disheveled mind. Reassuring the dim-witted person below me was probably better than to threaten him, for now anyway. The weak man was shivering from pain and covered his bleeding nose. It almost looked good as it concealed his face.

“Please now. Mr. Smith, there is no need to resort to such lowly things as name-calling.” I regulated my pitch while leaning down to his level.

His pathetic appearance was, by all means, furthered to sad levels as he failed to appear threatening.

“I-I should never have let you jap in, there was always something off about you since the start. Now, what are you after? What motivates you to commit these… these heinous acts?!” He spat in my direction.

“Motivates? We don’t have any reasons other than to get by. And playing the racist cop is rather cliché, don’t you have any better insults to throw at us? The last guy was much more creative when it came to throwing punches.” Trip spoke up, standing on the side.

Smith’s eyes flew around the restricted alleyway and until he registered his fish-eyed friend. He first lost all his facial muscles, then they all accumulated back into what could only be described as a supernova of despair.

“Oh G-g-god. You fucking bastards! Were you the ones who killed Andrew?! All along it was you… How…”

“Oh, not at all, Mr. Smith. We simply helped him on your behalf. Isn’t that good? We know how scared you were about his addiction. Didn’t you support his rehabilitation too? You were close and he must surely miss you, I bet he’d be very happy if you joined him.”

Smith looked away from it all, likely overwhelmed from the hard-hitting information. He looked completely broken, that was so satisfying, happy that we had gotten power over the situation, I shot him a kind smile. I didn’t notice that he had reached for a concealed gun until it was pointed at me.

I was fast enough to evade the speeding bullet; it would instead clatter then pierce a trash-container. At this point no risk would be taken by looking away from him, as I already registered Trip kick Smith’s hand to make him drop the weapon. A punch was heard.

Another one, accompanied with gurgled groans. I focused on watching trash fall from the container.

the battered man was beaten again, some more trash spilled out, and again a punch, and again some trash. I turned my head when a snap was heard. Screaming abruptly died, Smith’s silence was more telling than his words had and would ever be.

Unnecessary.

“Haa, really, now? Could you aim your punches a little better next time? Now we have to find someone else to use in his place.” I said. Not bothering to hide the frustration.

“Yeah, yeah. I just really didn’t like that guy, felt I had to shut him up.”

I did not bother with snarky comebacks and instead focused on the task at hand.

“Hey! Yes, you with the brown hair. Come over here.”

Before me stood the man formerly known as Andrew, this person reminded me of Midorijima’s slums. Everything from the neglected hygiene to the petty background-story. I felt it would be especially interesting if he were the one face the corpse first. Wouldn’t the best person to bury your body be one of your close friends? Surely that must have Been Smith’s wish by following me here.

My voice grew callous as I instructed to the newly founded group, but the mood lightened as I looked at the quantity of people in our founded “gang”. Recruiting new people was very hard to do. The benefits with the slums were many. Corrupt police were the best of it all. You could fend them off by throwing currency in their direction. They were a bit like the birds one would give bread to. Feed them what they want and they would adapt to your presence; some may even start following you. Where we resided now was much harder in that regard. We don’t live in the slum anymore. Every disappearance was thoroughly investigated and every murder was highly mourned. Humans were much more valued and people were so high on morals I wondered if it was stimulating to them.

Factors like those made my job so much harder.

“Now, then. Why don’t you use all of your previous skills from your respective jobs to dispose of Mr. Smith?” I told the group.

With sluggish steps, they complied and walked to face the dead man. I closed my eyes and felt a small amount of wind rushing through the closed-off alley. The place was vacant and off-limits for civilians, and the building we resided in was old and damp, which made the place useful. If anyone were to raid the area, there were already many evacuation routes we could escape to. The selection of people varied, most of them were somewhat adequate fighters. They either had so little backstory no one would miss them, or their backstories were so bad no one would miss them. That was quite an accomplishment for these people, in a culture that was usually very caring. One of the latter category was facing the corpse, provided with a hatchet and hammer.

That guy was a special case. I let the person’s ruthless tendencies intact, only removing will and memory from the body. Some would argue the difference would be little to none, but the human brutality which gleamed in the butcher’s eyes reflected their claim faulty. In a way, some of his personality was still there- at the very least, the will to kill was, and that trait got him greatly engaged… Maybe too much, now that my eyes had met his jeans and registered a rather distasteful detail.

The will to ignore his disgusting appetite was washed away completely as he reached for his beltline, “Hey! You with the hatchet, you do not engage in acts that derail from your task,” the only reason I still let him have the privilege of instinct was because of his ability to decapitate with enthusiasm.

While most of them didn’t react to anything, they did follow orders with only decent effort. None of them burned for what they did. The butcher did, as he slammed the hammer against the bones before raising the hatchet with a twitching mouth. The skin reformed into red.

Now I looked away, not wanting to watch my wasted effort being mangled. I didn’t like the display in front of me at all, something about the splitting of body mass accompanied by the gooey tearing sounds and sickening mixtures of odors made my stomach turn. The idea of working with people of such moral perversion fascinated yet disgusted me. Back in the old facility I was allowed to evade the dirty parts of work, and I certainly wouldn’t mind being knowingly sheltered from the abomination that was the mutilation ten feet away.

The worst was probably the smell; it would linger for hours- days even- and no one else would notice it. Trip was lucky in that regard, he had an immature fascination with gore, it had come to a point where he couldn’t smell heavy wounds if they were over ten minutes old.

Sighing in frustration. I started contemplating why we moved here at all.

Aoba san invaded my mind.

Of course. Having to work harder to make ends meet for my relationship seemed as good as reasonable. Even if both him and work could be a handful when piled together, it was still worth it in the end. The moment he had collapsed back in the Oval Tower I realized just what Aoba san was. Risking the probability of death for someone else was something I never thought I’d ever do, furthermore I made a decision that changed all our lives. Aoba san had not been very happy with the sudden change, but I’m confident in him getting used to the new life that had been so selflessly granted to him.

I kept chasing the notion that in time Aoba san would come to accept our- no, my love. Even more than that, the thing I yearned for the most was Aoba san’s reciprocity. Mutual affection. After the first year it had gotten much better. I could only hope the opportunity to live normally with Aoba san would come at a later time.

“Too disturbing for you?”

A mild surprise caused me to turn to the prying voice’s direction and saw Trip stand in an arguably too relaxed stance.

“I was thinking of his progress, not his questionable nature. However, I suppose it was good you dragged me into reality. I need to speak to the chief about Mr. Smith’s death and Andrew’s disappearance. Today will be pretty hectic to explain.” I explained to the one responsible for half of these problems.

“Why do you remember their names? It’s pointless when we just wind up wiping their identities, anyway.” He asked mindlessly.

“It’s called having a certain amount of courtesy. I simply blend in to avoid suspicion amongst my affiliates.”

Trip shrugged the words off, piling up my annoyance. I’d think that when he first bothered to imitate me he would act a bit more like me as well, but I guess it only goes skin-deep. It was going to be a difficult day for me, he would get off much easier. I had to communicate with adequate officers and detectives for the rest of the day while he simply ordered mindless thugs around. Having to cover up and play mental games with my bosses was hard. One slip and we would be in deep trouble.

I felt a ridiculously childish urge to shout out profanities as we walked off to the sideway and down the road. Leading Morphine was much easier than this. The technology we brought with us had helped, but we needed to do much by hand. Neurons were fragile, the signals produced were very much possible to manipulate, but anyone with a decent education would know that a human could not see nor touch them with the naked eye. That was were technology came in.  
Morphine was a force that specialized in controlling people through their brains, and did much to develop convenient techniques. We still had to put people into machines to safely shut their consciousness off. Other riskier techniques included such things as lobotomy. Not the old, vulgar method, of course. Looking back at my ancestors’ research often got me frustrated.

Cognitive subjects had been a necessity, even as a child I knew the importance of it. It wasn’t especially interesting, but it did make people ridiculously predictable, not to speak of the many job opportunities it opened. I had planned to “rearrange” the insular cortex of Smith. A nice cut over the eyes and ears would with my technology and hands, make him nice, obedient, controlled; render his cognitive functions- self-awareness if you will- disabled. That was if everything went according to plan, this type of process had a high fail-rate. Opening up someone’s head to remove and replace brain parts was highly behind the times. Only half the people survived the procedure. It’s frustrating to admit it, but when we left Toue we also left most of our resources.

I saw a snail crawl over the road, I crushed it with my shoe. Trip, whom had been walking beside me noticed.

“You’re angry.”

“Well, you killed my effort.”

Trip was lucky I let him follow by my lead back in the facility, if he hadn’t, he would undoubtedly have ended up like a “specimen” like some of the mistakenly picked ones occasionally were. I did wonder if Toue had developed eyes with those resources that could actually process fine information like brainwaves or thoughts, but it didn’t matter to us.

“Ahh, sorry.” He said.

Before we knew it we were at the end-point of the alley, and we were to separate. My job was to work as an agent to gather information concerning the newly missing group of people, that’s what the papers said. Trip… was working just like he had back when we were Yakuza members. He still considered himself one, which did make sense. His work had changed very little, and I was the one taking responsibility to getting to the new culture. We were independent now that Toue’s eyes were fixated on other things- or were they?

I shrugged myself off, knowing he was not a big problem, not yet. If he were to become bothersome there were already many escape routes.

“You’re sending it to me, right?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah.” Trip sluggishly replied.

“Good. see you later, then.”

“Bye-bye.”

I stepped out from the last gate and was greeted with a gentle shine from the sun, it acted as a subtle warning informing I was now out in an open area. Somewhat open, as in accessible to the public. This was by no means a tourist place, not a slum per say, just an undesirable location to reside in. Trash littered the ground, and the many buildings paint-coatings were peeling off the walls. The first priority was to catch a taxi, the location’s subtlety and distance from the main town made it hard. I kept walking, scanning for the hopes of a cab. After fifteen minutes of nothing I gave in and prepared to open my coil. Right as I was about to call, a yellow cab sped through, I went towards its direction to see if there was any chance to stop it. Chasing it down the road, it finally spotted then stopped for me. I opened the door and stepped in quickly.

“Wow, man. What are you doing in this here shithole?” the man rudely asked, turning down the booming radio to claim a response, “This eres’ no place for a gentleman like you.”

A man in his mid-40’s greeted me with a toothy grin. I first now registered his slurry manner of speaking, concealing my annoyed eyes I smiled and focused on tuning my voice properly.

“Well, it’s a relief to have been greeted by a gentleman who was kind enough to stop for me.”

“You kno bout’ the dangers of bein ere’, don’t you? People been disappearing left n’ right. You’re a lamb in a wolf’s den.” He let out a paltry chuckle, presenting his almost alcoholic stench. I reacted at how clear his last line was, but didn’t say anything. If I actually weren’t responsible for said disappearances this man would be immediately suspected, “So, wer’ you headed?”

“Police department.”

“very funny sir!” He smiled.

“I am very much serious,” It was my turn to smile as I presented my identification, “I’m on a case, my car is regrettably on repair and I have important business to tend to.”

My smile widened as he sobered up within mere seconds, improving both stance and demeanor, “A-apologies, sir!” But my smile faltered when he gave out the most pretentious grin I had ever seen, “Hmm, quite a while till we get there.”

Before a response could be made he had started the car, and my annoyance increased every time he’d look at the taxi fare calculator. Money was not a problem, but right now it felt like anything could set me off.

I tiredly asked him to put on the radio to distract myself, and immediately regretted it as it went on about Toue’s influence, making me stressed on top of frustrated. He was a manageable problem, sure, a problem nonetheless. If he got too involved with politics I would have to quit my job, even with an alias the risk would be high. The worst case scenario would be to escape the country.

I endured an hour of small-talk with small intervals of ear-deafening music. It felt like heaven when the taxi stopped, and I practically slammed the money onto the car’s center console with a smile before bidding the confused man farewell.

A gentle ringing was produced from my “work coil” and I took liberty to breathe in a final breath before opening the image. I walked up the building’s stairs then threw the door open. The apartment shone with its lamps, so white and headache inducing as I ran through the corridors. I rushed up the entrance, only taking a small pause while registering myself into the proper section of the building

“I have very urgent news!”

The exclamation had caused an eerie quietness accompanied by uncertain looks, then I was led straight to the deputy chief’s office. I wore a much more respectable appearance than Akushima, that was for sure- I actually knew when shouting would leave an impact on people.

“Yazawa Hikaru? What is the urgency? It’s very unlike you to cause such a commotion.”

The butchered pronunciation reminded me of how rare Japanese names were in this country, the imbecilic decision hit my frustration hard. It was to explain why I had an accent, but in hindsight it had come to annoy me every time I heard my work name. Not only did it make me stand out, but Toue would definitely see it if he ever were to come to power.

“Apologies Malcolm. Work has been harsh this week, and these events are… grading at best.”

“Of course, I do understand the frustration. The reports are concerning. Sheriff’s rather displeased with how slow things are going,” He leaned back in his chair, gently tapping his previously held papers with the tip of his fingers, “The fact that our apartment got blessed with aspiring workers like you brings me hope, y’know. You’re of Asian heritage, aren’t you? Your people are known to be hard working, I think I’ll vote for Toue because he very much reminds me of you, and let me tell you, people like you are what saves a country from anarchy.”

I channeled my now undeniable frustration into a tensed, worried appearance. Sharp sadness filled with authority was what I went for as I spoke up, “I am very grateful for your kind words, sir. Unfortunately, I have some very unfortunate news to inform you about, it concerns Andrew’s disappearance…” The chief whom had sipped from his coffee now stopped and looked at me, “I know I should refrain from letting this get personal, but now… a coworker has also been abducted.”

Malcom’s eyes tightened then unclenched themselves subtly but still inelegantly, “We all are very set back by these elusive criminals, but don’t let them push you into taking justice into your own hands,” His mouth twitched from what was assumed to be caused by either the now emptied coffee cup or his increasing losses, “Now, please do inform me about the abducted person”

“Most certainly, but I do warn that this might be too per-”

“Was it him?”

“…I am truly sorry, chief. This is hard for me too.” I intentionally hesitated.

He smiled clumsily with an underlying tone of desperation, “No… No I am sorry, just please hurry and tell me what you’ve found so I can redirect this to the higher-ups.”

“I apologize for not showing this at once, but the image was so terrible it’s hard to show it. While walking back here I got this repulsive cryptic mail,” I opened the coil to reveal the arranged message, “This just becomes more and more personal, I recommend we send this case to another department.”

His eyes were drained as they faced the unforgiving electricity, the final stage of the corpse’s dismantling was photographed. We gasped in unison, his had fortunately drowned mine out. His gasp was a shocked one, mine was a choked, frustrated one. The only disgusting thing was how I felt my face lightly twist at the smell. It was much worse for Malcom, though. He seemed to inadvertently gag when he looked at the remains of Smith’s eyes.

While I did not blame him for standard human reactions, there was something much more bothersome in the image.

Some of Trip’s pants were visible, such a sloppy mistake that could have so easily been avoided left me in a state bordering dangerously on anger. It was blurred out to such an extent that our matching patterns would be impossible to make out, but I might have to buy new clothes because of his idiocy. We really shouldn’t be wearing matching clothes in situations like these.

“Those ruthless, infantile monsters.” I shivered out of my clenched jaw.

“Jesus Christ, I’ve seen enough! Turn it off.” Was all he could muster.

“Again, so sorry.”

“Yazawa, I’ll hold onto your coil. I’ll make sure to have it replaced as soon as possible.” He ignored my apology like I hadn’t spoken at all, and looked to the other side of the room where a flower-vase was standing steadily.

I complied, and removed it without further notice.

His demeanor had grown cold and professional, giving me a break from his pretentious “buddy” attitude. He managed the department, so his job was to keep group morale up and going, but he was more jarring than anything. Seeing him loose his light was a bit of a relief, but the growing stench kept me from laughing.

“Malcom Smith, I am truly sorry for this. It’s a hard loss for me t-”

“Thank you, but you are dismissed. I need to work… Normally I’d ask you to stay until we have it all confirmed, but you deserve a break. Go home.”

I pretended to act surprised, then made a light bow for cultures sake.

_It’s funny how family businesses are so common within circuses._

In the end, I did manage to fabricate every detail in convincing and coherent ways. After today I really looked forward to seeing my beloved. He must be looking forward to seeing me too, considering he’s probably lying in a pool of his own urine. I chained him as punishment for his disobedient actions yesterday. That’s what I told him, but it was more to test his reaction and compliance. All resistance had to be washed away, having him become disobedient was not good. I hoped this would be the last time, and I’m confident it would be. He didn’t object or struggle at all, he becomes more promising by each day.

I opened up the door to the outside, closing my eyes and letting wind hit my face.

 

“Aoba san, we’re home.”

“We’re home, Aoba!”

I didn’t expect any acclamation from him, but then, in noteworthy development he moved his head up as means to greet us. I walked to the welcoming being on the floor. I touched his head, causing him to tense adorably. Strange… the stench had gotten thinner and less noticeable in his presence, but that was to be expected of Aoba san. I looked up at Trip who possessed a slight grimace on his face- oh, of course.

The lock was hurriedly removed and we pulled him up by the arms. The unpleasant fluid was dripping down his thighs as we tried to ignore the smell. Trip seemed almost happy about Aoba san’s accident, but not because he had developed a weird interest. It was about a compromise we made. If he got to join in on my turn yesterday, I’d have Aoba san today as well. I had told Trip why Aoba san had been acting so “nice” to him the other day. He didn’t get resentful, instead he expressed a want to see Aoba san again. First I naturally declined, having looked forward to having him gently and lovingly on my own, but he kept pressing me about it so much that my annoyance had ruined my mood anyway. His need was obvious, making me able to exploit the situation. I got him trade out his turn so he could swiftly “explain the motivation”. I’m even charitable enough to let Trip wash Aoba san up on his own, informing I’d be waiting by the entrance of the room.

We would soon have our normal procedures. Exchanging goodbyes and parting ways, me getting the exclusive sensation of Aoba san’s fingers entwined in mine. I gleefully directed him to the bed while contemplating what we were going to do today, but stopped and reevaluated where to place him.

“Aoba san, will you please sit down on the sofa?”

He didn’t let out noises or shivers, but his confused fear was still resonating well with the slow, uncertain steps. I did feel like guiding him because of the struggle he went through, but his unnecessary fear was so very endearing to watch that I decided to just wait.

I looked on as my blue-haired fiancé slowly brushed past me to go and sit down. My eyes weren’t above watching his hips make slow, cute movements. And they most certainly weren’t above watching the well-proportioned thighs move slowly and lusciously. His behind, joints, back, sides- all of him- was wonderfully exposed, that would always make me realize the same thing over and over again; he truly is beautiful.

Aoba san started fidgeting after having sat down, trying to distract himself from my eyes. I smiled after registering his twitching member and the sweat falling from his chest. He really didn’t like unknown requests, did he? Yet he would still get aroused by me so easily, just a command was enough. I felt a sweet shiver going up my hips as these thoughts came washing over me.  
Should I be rough? Well, he had been very good to us lately. I didn’t want to send mixed signals to him and make him even more uncertain. His eyes looked up at me, then returning down, then up again in ongoing uncertainty.

Not wanting to keep him on edge anymore, I finally gave an innocent command that surprisingly affected him more than I thought.

How interesting this would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally done editing this, the first draft was not good at all. Now, there are many things here that are pretty far fetched, but since there is so little information about what they do post-bad end, I really just had to go with my instincts.  
> I imagine Virus would be in the police or a similar organization, so he could sort of monitor their progress. He did something similar in the game, I think? After Mizuki had disappeared they stepped into the crime scene they had commited. I'd also imagine Trip would not be in the police, but rather lead the new gang they're forming since he's not as good as Virus is when it comes to social aspects and would be a bit better off leading brainwashed people.  
> Anyway, I'm still a bit unsure, but this is my best guess.
> 
> Also, wow! almost 300 views as I'm typing this. Thank you very much :D


	5. Stalking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba and Virus have a night that turns from good to bad, and then good again, and then bad again.

I felt a shiver claw mercilessly at my spine, what did he mean by that? I kept eying him, waiting to see if he’d elaborate. His lips lifted up reassuringly, trying to break the uncomfortable interim of silence created by his subtle wording.

Talk? I had no idea what was meant by that. Since the beginning, Virus had been unreadable, almost stoic-like. I was unsure of his nature and intentions, even after so long. Right now, that gave powerful fuel that could be used to fill up the rusted fear-car that would eventually drive me **_toot-toot_** through the humpy-dumpy road of danger. I felt an urge to shout, rise out of the mental chains and demand he stop fucking with me. Even more, I wanted to avoid his line of sight. _Wanted no shared lines with him at all._

“…Talk?” Words escaped through quivering teeth.

“Yes,” He sat on the couch where I had been forcefully placed on. “Or maybe, did you hope for something more, Aoba san? Fufu.”

“…I didn’t know if talking meant something more…” With a start, I spoke freely. Too freely.

“Take it easy, Aoba san. There are no double-meanings behind my words.” He beamed, taking the one wine glass that always sat on the table.

albeit the strangeness, I soon fell at ease. I timidly peaked, and as I met his welcoming eyes, I reverted my own back down. The floor, which had been conversed with for an unknown lapse of time met me. Time? I wondered what the hour was. What day it was. What month it was. What year it was.

“Virus… day?”

“Huh? What do you mean, Aoba san?”

“What day is it?”

He gave me something reminiscent of an angry glare, it was then my mistake was realized.

A blob formed in the deepness of my belly, expanding into my upper body thereafter. It was like a leech sucking away all the blood from the limbs, rendering me unable to move. All I was able to do was feel the pounding from the scraping entity in my body. That thing… was unadulterated fear.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean t- “

“It’s alright, but I highly recommend you refrain from such disrupting thoughts,” Virus leaned in on me. Soft in voice- harsh in glare. “You don’t need to know anything other than our love for you.”

He must have felt my fear, considering his expression soften up when he continued with the words.

“I’ll give one thing to you, though. On the condition you’ll be even more obedient, do you understand?”

For a moment I was stunned. I found myself turning around, almost instinctively to see if he had talked to someone else. Feeling a small sigh enter my ear, I realized it actually was me he had addressed. He was looking for confirmation, yet it felt like doing a deal with the devil. Like I was selling my soul to him. I couldn’t help but want further information.

“What is the… thing?”

He narrowed his eyes, followed with a smirk.

“Today’s newspaper.”

My heart skipped a beat. I tried my hardest to conceal my joy, but good God! How could I be expected of that now? I’d get the time and date, location, language. Hell, maybe I could even decipher some of the news! Something as trivial as a newspaper. Something as normal as a newspaper. Something so… welcoming… was worth selling one’s soul for.

“I’ll behave better- s-so please!”

Virus’ recently crossed legs were untangled as he stood up, walking to the doorframe with a smile.

“I’ll fetch it, _dear_.” He looked peacefully at me, all the while putting unnecessary weight on the last word.

To my relief, he walked out of sight before he could see the growing redness painting my cheeks. I felt heat well up in me. In frantic movement, I looked between my legs in hope for an explanation. To my surprising dismay, I didn’t have an erection. He hadn’t touched me, neither had he made me aroused. So why had he… reached me? My blush died down, killed by the realization of what was happening.

NO! he was the one who killed Mizuki, the one whom took my life away. He was a-

“I’m back, Aoba san.”

“a-?!”

“What? Did I frighten you that much? Honestly, it’s just me.” Virus should know he himself was what scared me.

He was seated beside me in moments, papers clutched gently in hand. I gulped down the anticipated rush.

“Aoba san, look.”

I followed Virus’ tracing finger with my eyes, then…

“Toue?” I whispered.

“Yes. He never relents, does he? He has Japan- even other parts of Asia. He seems to have… noticed our influence. Even overseas.”

Virus sounded annoyed. Not enough to be bothered, more like the type of annoyance one would get if someone spammed your coil. He seemed hesitant in turning the pages as I peered. He leaned back into the couch’s fabric, and took his hands away, bringing full attention to me.

“This is for Aoba san, after all. Therefore, you can do whatever you want with it.”

I caught the signal. Virus gave me the luxurious liberty of looking through it… myself. Not without his presence, though. For before I could reply, he had nuzzled me up in attempted endearment. With a rare feeling of comfort, I found myself snuggling back to attempt gathering warmth, despite sweat rolling down my neck.

 “W-what language?”

“Don’t worry about that, Aoba san.” He leaned in more, the loosely-worn blazer curling up by being pressed against two bodies.

His closeness felt even more strange without accompanied fear or arousal, I slowly turned the pages and scanned through them one by one. Without the bravery of asking him to translate there was only so much to do. After some time, I found myself rolling the pages back and forth faster than an enthusiastic kid with a flip book. Virus must have caught on really fast, and was breathing out a sound similar to both a laugh and sigh. As I kept rolling the papers with empty eyes, he suddenly stopped my hand. The thin folds slid to the sides, revealing a page.

The first thing to greet me was just a mundane advertisement for some product. I tried turning the page in blind hurry, but was stopped again. I looked up, waiting for his words.

“Aoba san, this commercial always struck me as odd,” I peered back at it, there was nothing out of place. Just a seemingly old, white bird-allmate with some normal scratches here and there, there was text over and under it, “Of course, you don’t understand, do you? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you.”

He folded the page more clearly so it was easier to see, and once again started speaking.

“It states as follows: “Is your allmate out-of-date and ugly-looking? Maybe your boyfriend can inspect it for you. Oh, wait, you don’t have one.” It’s from Toue’s company, quite… pandering, don’t you think?”

It took some time for me to get the joke itself, but soon realized it implied you were poor and worthless without the newest model. Such a bitchy way of pushing a product made me give out an amused chuckle. It felt weird to make sounds like that, especially when made unconsciously and genially.

“Aoba san?”

Shit, Virus noticed. He seemed oddly happy about it, maybe because of the sound’s rarity. His attention would have been endearing if it hadn’t been so humiliating. I skewed my position away from the fixed spot, he had been too close.

“Don’t worry, it’s not like I would lose interest in you simply because you possessed an old allmate. Please stop acting insecure and sit back, Aoba san.”

I didn’t know if that comment had just been clumsily formulated, or if stated purposefully to hit my hopelessly tangled nerves. Who was I kidding… of course he knew, Virus always worded things like an elusive politician, and that role was only broken on special occasions (punish me). This was the consequence of pulling away.

“S-sorry…”

Despite his cruel nature, I found myself falling back into his direction, nuzzling him like a hungover teen would nuzzle their pillow.

Virus was like a pillow.

A concealed needle pillow that would eventually leave me stung and bleeding.

“No, I do apologize. That might have been a bit uncalled for,” He pushed his glasses up, as if trying to amplify his arrogance. His hand found its way back to my hair and moved the strands lightly, “I had hoped we could have a bit more of an open relationship, and this seems like a good occasion. Let me help with interpreting the papers, Aoba san. That could in no way turn painful, right?”

Finding my hands grasping for the pages, I flipped through until the desired article of Toue was found.

“T-this.”

“A-ah, Toue, is it? That article is quite long,” he turned distantly annoyed, but it wasn’t a threat towards me either, “You want full details? Fufu, you realize it would be a bit of work from my part too, right?”

“S-s-sorry, b-but you said-”

“Ahh, but of course Aoba san. I did say that, didn’t I?”

I was smart enough to not move, instead staying seated in discomfort and awaiting whatever was to come. Virus poured himself a bottle from the only glass on the table. That was another thing I had come to accept. Whether it was a glass or a bed, I was made to share it with him. Being reduced to meat was what it felt like at first, but it was more like being a dish, the more I pondered my value the more I understood. He was eating me with his body and drinking me through his eyes, and the meal would never suffice for him, neither would it collapse properly. It was like dying over and o-

“V-virus, may I taste?”

“Hm? Of course, Aoba san. It’s burgundy, aged and stored accordingly.”

The flavor’s brutal bitterness distracted me from breaking down by my own mind, and right now I couldn’t afford the pain. This might be the only chance to understand what is going on outside.

“We really should get going with the subject, right? We’ll have plenty of time to indulge in wine later,” He leaned his head in so that our noses were touching slightly- I wanted to throw up over the fact that I didn’t feel like throwing up over his insinuation, “Translators usually get paid by heavy work like this.”

This was hopeless, what could I give that hadn’t already been stolen? Couldn’t he just cut to the chase already?

“Don’t fret, Aoba san. Well, this is a bit frustrating, though. You can’t pay with money nor with materials… So what should we do,” his hand was placed under his chin as he spoke, but soon moved his fingers over to my lips and caressed them tenderly. “What should we do, indeed…”

My blushing didn’t help, and his smile certainly didn’t either. Since we now knew just what he wanted, he didn’t need to elaborate.

“One for each paragraph, Aoba san. I will not be negotiating further on this issue.”

It wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, the reward would surely be better than the… punishment? I went for it at once, giving him a short-lived kiss on the lips. Virus was not too amused by the performance.

“That didn’t feel like a paragraph to me, barely a sentence.”

Quivering a bit at the seriousness, I leaned in and made sure it would suffice for a whole damn novel. It was longer and more passionate this time, and my engagement started to heat up too much for my liking, he was the one to separate after some time.

“Fufu, glad to do business with you.”

The sensuality in Virus’ response was not needed, but still, he better keep talking.

“Toue has made a tremendous effort in our society, not only saving the economy and rebuilding our roads and houses; he furthers it with providing jobs and welfare. Starting as a business in japan, and has now furthered his influence to other countries, he must truly be a suitable candidate for this run. There are people who still show disapproval for some of his past activities, but the majority indicates a liking to the man. He is the first to be granted the benefit of election even though he was not born nor raised here.”

Virus stopped, looking at me with a finger on the side of his mouth. I moved forward again.

We repeated the procedure two more times, until I realized the only thing the article gave out was a despot praised for being good at playing chess with his own luck. Besides, Virus had become too tempting, and I still knew when to stop. Taking him as a way to cope was on par with committing suicide, and both of those choices were too peaceful for my mind. I wouldn’t resign to this fate just yet, it was always another way, right?

“What’s the matter?”  
I foolishly dried the spit off, before facing him to try answering conjointly with apologizing. To my immense relief, he was simply letting out a teasing chuckle.

Maybe he was aware of that growing disease he had given me. Evading further thoughts, I asked him something I needed information on, something the article never mentioned.

“I-Is there anything about Sei?” Leaning over him, I asked hopefully.

A weird silence merged with the room. With uncertainty, pained words were forced out.

“Virus… Please…”

His arm aligned over my shoulder tightened in a similar manner to that of his allmate- yet this was more humane, seeing as the tensed snuggling comforted my pained self. He stroked my hair carefully, leaning in and kissing my jaw. If not for the sullen atmosphere, I would have gotten aroused.

“I’m sorry. There’s nothing. I haven’t been updated on Sei san’s state of health since we left.” He told me.

With desperate need for comfort, I buried my head in his chest, the white fabric still felt so strange against naked skin. I withheld the urge to weep, taking the opportunity to ask him one more thing.

“Koujaku? Tae? Are they…?”

Under the pure white of his shirt, muscles tensed and breathing lessened, the stroking hand was soon to falter.

“They were all an unfortunate case. Your friends were caught, then neutralized on the spot. Their deaths were stated as swift and painless. As for your grandmother, nobody knows exactly. She probably had a similar faith due to her unwillingness to cooperate with Toue.” He explained, no prominent features on his face.

I couldn’t afford the anger as their dying faces scraped against my mind. Where did I go wrong, was there anything at all I could do? For once, I hoped Sei was dead. If this was the level of agony he had to experience since childhood, then death would be a relief. As for me, I could only do what I did best. I pried myself from Virus’ grasp, turned the other way- then…

I cried.

I cried and cried. When did I become so pathetic? Why am I not fighting against them like I used to? I brought my face back to him, wanting to see if he were mad. Virus sat there, swirling the poured wine-glass, watching me whimper with settled indifference. It kept going for merciless minutes. I heard muffled wine-sips through damp and suffocated fabric, hair and tears, merged all around my head and face obscured and concealed reality. I could only assume the last drops of alcohol were consumed, because after the sound of clitter-clattering, he spoke.

“I am sorry, Aoba san. You wanted to know, and I felt it was important to tell the truth. I think it’s even more important, now, that you stop focusing on the past and its irreversible events. This is part of you getting used to the environment, keep going forward and focus less on something that ended years ago. Both for your body’s health and sanity, embrace us.”

The pain-raised head lifted itself, not wanting to think anymore. Not wanting to feel anymore.

He still wore a face comparable to laminated paper, but his arms were extended out to me. On cue, I collapsed into Virus’ imprisoning hold. He let me press against his body as much as needed. Occasionally, he stroked and softly hushed cries. I was well aware he was manipulating, but I somehow felt he could stop the pain. He looked unreachable, so God-like. I had no energy for hate- let alone holding it towards someone else anymore.

“V-V-i…gh-rus-?” I cried through barely-intelligible sobs. He looked me up and down.

“Yes, Aoba san?”

“…What day is it?”

He sighed, glimpsing at the papers.

“It’s a Friday, Aoba san.” He apathetically replied.

“I-ha… S-see-aha… fufu-haha *hic* Ahh-”

He cooed me into silence, making even emotions enslaved to his touches. I hugged tightly like my life depended on it. The sensation of him felt delicious. There was a connection one could compare to sex, but this felt different. Of course, wasn’t it apparent at this stage? Oh God, I fucking needed him. Somehow, he was the only one whom could undo this damage. He and Trip were the only ones disgusting enough to deserve touching, feeling, repairing, and loving me.

My sobbing laughter died down, slowly. Divorcing myself violently from the sorrow, I smiled.

“…Please, I can’t handle this anymore. Help...” 

“My poor Aoba san. We’ll do everything we can to help you, as long as its within reason.”

I dragged myself up to his level, body running its own course. Leaning in, it hovered my lips over his.

“Is this within reason?”

He yanked me back by the hair- I couldn’t care less.

“Aoba san, that won’t work on me.” He stated, accusatory. I could only smile to the roof.

“I’m n-not trying to play you, Virus. I need this… so much.”

His eyes narrowed as he released the harsh grip. He stroked my head, thereafter bringing me into a sickeningly deep hug, obviously for restraining purposes over actual sympathy. I felt his disciplined breath brush against my ear. I quivered, hugging back. Trying to giggle away the weeping.

“Virus, please fuck me.”

A silent moment was created by the blunt request. I was taken aback myself. Where did this come from? I could only stay put and wait for the unmelting ice-cube to answer.

“I don’t appreciate how you refer to intimate moments, Aoba san.”

 _Oh, I’m sorry. Was that not the correct term? Does rape sound more adequate?_ That was what I was about to say. Thankfully, he hushed my voice as the words attempted to escape. He wouldn’t bat an eye in any other situation in which similar wording would be made, maybe a twitch in a finger or a slight sight, but no protests. What a cruel human being.

My eyes reverted to something bothersome. The white belt’s tongue was neatly tucked in the buckle, keeping the pants secured. My hand wanted him out of them, taking the fingers and trying to unbuckle the hindrance didn’t work so well. He slapped away the prying hand, taking it upon himself to grip me and fill my ears with another lapse of sweet lies.

I couldn’t take it.

Breaking away a second time, I glared at him in much bigger conflict. There was cold sweat rolling down my shoulder blades- scared at the decreased tone sounded in his scoff. I opened my mouth to mutter out an apology, but relented when my shaking fingers came into sight. How unsightly. How ugly. I didn’t even deserve their affection. He knew that too. I deserved hell.

This time I was the one to accuse.

“Ha! I knew it. You find me repulsive, don’t you? Just g-go ahead and say it.” I smiled, teary accumulations waiting in the increasing lump in my throat.

This wasn’t courage. This was stupidity. I knew that (hoping he didn’t). I was peering for the hope of aggression, but no transgressions were to betray the steel-mask. He only adjusted his glasses while inhaling through the nose. He placed a hand on the armchair, furrowing his eyebrows neatly. Busy day for him, maybe?

“Oh? Do I now?” He dug into me with a glare, chuckling humorlessly. “And just what am I supposed to “go ahead and say,” Aoba san?”

“That you hate me.”

Virus brutally laughed, it was quiet and low, but it felt noisy and horrible.

“Do I now? Alright, then.” Virus repeated himself, shifting posture.

I hesitated, contemplating the limited options. He lifted himself up from the darkly couch, fishing up the wine-bottle with his left hand. His movements were almost theatrical as he stood there, perfectly arranged for my viewing pleasure.

“I hate wine. I drink it because I absolutely despise the tasteless liquid. I also abhor it so much that I will go out of my way to buy the most expensive type on the market,” He sneaked back to me, gliding his hand through my hair, kneeling down before me as if this was a twisted parody of proposing. “But that despised item is a Godsend compared to you, Aoba san. You make me feel even worse. I loathe you, despise you. I feel nothing but contempt for you. Your body is the only thing that could never please me… The boring personality… I stole you from Toue since I hated you so much more than he would ever understand.”

My tongue curled to the back of my throat as I listened to the words, on the verge of gagging. How had he managed to make that sound endearing? Was he being genuine behind the thick layer of sarcasm? Maybe it was the way he looked at me. His voice disconnected and too light from what was actually being said.

 He made something good into something bad again.

“…You don’t actually mean it.” Disappointedly, I pointed out.

“Ah! How did you guess that, my be _loved_ Aoba san?”

I flinched.

“please… Say it like you mean it.”

“I could never come to hate you.”

Fed up with this nonsense, I took it upon myself to set up my thighs on the couch, spreading my legs. It was an impulse, but one I didn’t resist. Couldn’t he just fuck me so I could rest? His eyes followed to inside, a place which had been thrusted into and ravished infinite amount of times by that very man. Even so, he refused sending signals of approval. With face and body, he rejected the offer.

“Aoba san. I don’t like how you think of our time together. I don’t enjoy fucking you. That’s not what we’ve been doing for the past year.” He placed either hand on my thighs, closing them up painfully slow.

I didn’t want to say it, but if I didn’t… The sorrow is just too…

“P-please… ma-a…ke love to me, Virus!”

A look altered itself to confusion, then into unhesitant joy. He separated my thighs, causing shivers.

“When you put it that way…” He trailed eager fingers onto me.

I fell into confusion, first registering the surroundings when the hurriedly set-aside bottle was in focus beside me. The bottle had a small crack in it, as it rolled far away from the gross, fleshy act that was about to take place. The floor, cold and hard, brought forth a sense of familiarity. No bruise or pain-wave was on me, so I guessed wine was second-priority when it came to care. He wanted to taste me over fermented grapes, that did bring a bit of truth to his previous speech.

He slipped out of the blazer he had loosely worn on his shoulders, arranging it on the floor. Confused, a questioning gaze met with his actions, a smile was sent back. Virus strolled over to my naked body, lifting it up and letting it down on the black cloth that was not suited for lying under me like that.

“That must feel better, I can only imagine how hard it must be for your joints laying like that for long periods of time.”

“…What about your clothing?”

He tsked at my words like offence had been taken- that only seemed ridiculous to me.

Soon a hand was gripping my dick, stroking teasingly with a slow-paced rhythm. I gave wavering moans, ranging from the sound of laughter and crying. A damp heat placed itself over the sensitivity, then it was submerged with something heavenly. Letting my eyesight go, I quivered underneath the sensation of Virus’…

His what?

Like bullets, my eyelids opened wide, pupils retracting as I saw his tongue go around my shaft.

“W-ha-at… are you doin…ngh” I cried through moans.

The only reply was hands being wrapped against my hips to restrain my crotch against his mouth, even in an act like this he always appeared dominant and powerful. I could only desperately whine as he gave me the pleasant sensations I had provided him with yesterday. He looked at me through the glasses, now stained with something that was most likely my…

“Uhgh-! Pull away… Or… goi- to-!”

I felt his lips curve into an obvious expression, it felt strange to sense someone smile with your body. There was something occupying my focus more, though. I didn’t want to finish in his…

“A-a…-hg… uh.”

Too late.

It didn’t matter in the long run; the embarrassment would pass like anything else. I surely didn’t need to see into his mouth to know what his decision had been. He had already swallowed my shame and identity, this wasn’t all that weird.

He lifted me up under my armpits and sat me on the couch again, he was still on the floor, but I knew that would stop once my dick hardened. He started by licking his own fingers, spreading my opening and shoving one in. He gently moved with a rhythm that consisted of three easy thrusts, then two hard ones. He rolled and twisted them too, already making me groan out as my dick twitched a bit. I looked down helplessly as my body acted out against me. Virus smiled at the reactions, and soon pulled his fingers out. I whined and extended two hands towards him, trying to prompt him into holding me properly.

“There we go, Aoba san.” He cooed, as if in response to my desperation.

My relief was short lived, as he only lifted himself up to my navel. His mouth was placed on my belly with alien gentleness. He licked over my ribcage, using his tongue as if to register the texture. Kind of like a snake would, huh? He stopped as he reached my collarbones and disconnected his lips. He now touched around my hip-bones while sitting beside me on the couch again, now facing me with both legs placed on it. He was about to speak again.

“You’ve become dangerously thin since we brought you here. How can we possibly make you eat more, Aoba san?”

A deep shame went over me. As I was about to answer- our lips met.

The smooching from our mouths sent me straight into cloud-nine. An immense feeling of relief filled me when he climbed over my traitorous body. He brought his hands to the side of my knees and forcefully tugged backwards. Our thighs were pressed together, mine on top of his. I lost balance as my legs were moved away from the balancing point. I prepared to hit the armchair with the back of my head, but was met with something even harder- Virus’ hands.

He trussed our depraved bodies together. Stomach to stomach, heartbeat to heartbeat. I was basically carried, sitting on his lap and held up by his hands.

Something pressed against my ass. I smiled, knowing this experience would dry the tears and direct my focus elsewhere. His electronic eyes seemed to focus hard on my face, like a camera lens taking in every detail of a vast, green field.

“-Ugh-Ah!...” I scream-moaned as his cock made its way in.

He pulled me down with uncharacteristic force. My bleary vision exploded into my head, ringing like alarm-bells in my ears. Every genetic part of me felt throbbing and sensitive. Every part of him felt hard- yet somehow a bit soft.

“…ahh.” His voice slipped out with ragged breathing.

The way I was held up brought on embarrassing excitement. My erection was pressed against his stomach, dirtying his newly washed shirt with pre-cum. His hands, now gripping against my butt, moved and swirled my hips around. Even if the comparison was strange- it sort of felt like Virus was an artist, painting with my body to create artistic contrasts on the white cloth.

His fingers were spread over my ass, feeling the pinkie-fingers trembling a bit against the under-side of my thighs and butt, his ring-and-long-fingers were moving steadily and controlled in contrast, the thumb was the roughest- really pressing down on my sides. The thought of getting bruised by his hold turned me even hotter. I groaned out as his dick attacked my prostate. The jagged intervals of heavy breaths served to send me even higher into the clouds.

Like I was soaring to someplace far away, I closed my eyes and allowed him to lead us into heightened pleasure.

 “So… good.”

I moved all I could, yearning and desiring even more approval. His dick digging into my willing body sent vibrations to the spine, making unattractive drool come out. Before there was any way to stop it, he reached his tongue out and licked the spit from my chin up to the lips. He soon tongued me like he had unlimited hunger for that quivering mouth of mine. I let the sloppy noises escalate into a sticky-wet feeling until spit was over us both. There was alcohol tasting from his mouth. It caused a bittersweet feeling. Buckling me up and down with gentle force as I hugged his controlling frame.

“AH-AH-Gh. - HAHH.”

“You’re… ha- quite pleasured now, right?” He tugged his member in and out, wavering inside of me dangerously as if to play with ideas of orgasm denial. “Cute, little… Aoba san. So lost and wonderful.”

Even the backhanded compliments served to draw the invincible lines, tugging slightly at my heartstrings.

“I love you so much-! Do you see that, yet, Aoba sa…”? The speech was impaired by the upcoming climax.

Mine was connected close with his. I savored the sensation, preparing to send us all crashing down to hell when it would pass.

“I love you more than anything else…” Taking every look and shiver in, he spoke with silky imputations.

“I really like you too…”

The uncanny feeling of releasing conjointly was great. It was truly strange, wonderful, the way the sex was tonight- completely vanilla. It was too ideal; this was too great to be with him.

“Aoba san.” An almost child-like vulnerability spoke to me.

Using him as comfort was on par with suicide, maybe I could see if he was capable of understanding that if he didn’t kill me first.

“I love you… Koujaku.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, 400 hits so quickly, that's amazing!  
> This is the first "turn" in the story, and probably the smallest one out of the bunch. This is the chapter I am most proud of so far, and I hope it was somewhat enjoyable for you, too. The fact people actually bother to read through it all is in itself flattering to me. I really do think I'm a bit terrible at times for writing such graphic stuff, so getting positive responses is just amazing!  
> Also, I realize that I am sort of clogging up the comments with saying thank you. If I do not reply, then please, do not think I'm just being arrogant. Nothing makes me happier than to read responses from people, and I will reply if there is something I can contribute with to the conversation other than a big, heartfelt "thank you," The reason for this is simply because I do not want to make it seem like I receive more comments than I actually do ^^' If I do not reply, then do not worry, I always read everything.


	6. Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trip finds the screaming weird, and grows a bit of sympathy for Aoba. He is also a bit offended at Virus.

My feet fumbled out the door and into the corridor, alert to the unusual loudness the opposite side produced.

It was not really all that bothersome, the walls were soundproof for multitude of reasons. Aoba had power in his voice, alright. It was adorable to see him squirm around with its volume maxed out by the hands of pleasure. The beauty of his desperation always caused tingling shivers to fall everywhere. Sometimes I did go too far to get those moaning screams out, and the one informing me would be always be Virus.

I allowed myself to stand learned, if he was the one to lecture me it would usually be alright. I would accept the logic without much question to be had -well- most of the time, anyway. He isn’t exactly a liar, but he does have a tendency to go against his own words if he so wishes to.

Now was an ideal example, seeing as the agony those screams signaled pushed me onto a rare, edge-like feeing. Of course, I wanted Aoba to get accustomed to deprecation, make him unafraid of pains of the unusual, but that shout didn’t sound like a protest- it was something I had heard before. Something one would hear when a person stared into death’s face. Those were animalistic and pleading, not protesting against pleasure.

I signaled Welter closer behind me, making my way to Virus’ room- just in case. The reason why Aoba was heard… well, why wouldn’t he be? Sometimes sneaking up on Virus while he was preoccupied with a distracting Aoba, then put the door ajar was a little hobby of mine. Unfortunately, when he found out, the door was not movable the next day. Luckily, there were also times the door had slipped open due to being sloppily and carelessly half-closed, presumably because Aoba was distracting.

Today, Aoba was distracting… and I was lucky.

Instructing Welter to stay put, I sneaked up to the half-open door, peaking through. Hersha was the first thing coming into sight, it was all the way back on the left side of the room, coiling itself over the blue mess… laughing on the floor? Weird, there were clearly screams earlier, had Aoba finally lost the shards of restraint he loved clutching onto?

A smile was widespread, I didn’t know why it felt so good seeing him like that, but it did. Amazingly good, in fact. I sat down, peaking through the neglected door’s opening. A need was growing the more I saw the luscious way he struggled and giggled in the superior hold of the snake. Seeing him trapped was provocative in the best of ways. How he would try and try, even though he already knew it impossible. Hair spread over his face more than his eyelids were sprawled from each-other, blue strands glued closely to his lips, and my hands had found themselves under my underwear. My eyes closed, this was such a good situation.

Or so I thought…

 “Now, Aoba san. I really don’t like repeating myself again and again, so let’s just get down to it; some more weight?”

“…weig-ghf-AAAAAAHH!”

The snake wasn’t there to simply restrain, it was there to crush down on him. It was usually amazing to witness Aoba midst in discipline, but this seemed… inhumane? Unethical? Words that were easily applied by people, but had long ago lost meaning to me, started to turn sensible. Aoba was clearly not in the right state of mind for this. He should and would be punished if he did something bad, of course- but playing mind-games with someone who couldn’t even collect themselves decently seemed… silly. He was probably psycho-ish, I think that’s what it was called, but it felt a bit wrong. Maybe Virus could correct me, he was the one who introduced me to the term, after all. The wish to storm in and be corrected over my wrong understanding came over me. Aoba was being treated like he should, I was just not getting why he was being treated that harshly.

Virus was informed, he loved reading as a kid, not that there was much else to do at Toue’s. I tried picking up the practice, but the stuff he read was way too boring or pretentious. Virus didn’t find it pretentious, or at the very least, there were many other things he viewed as more pretentious. He would place the boring books over the bible when sorting around the book-shelf. The “caretakers” had a “talk” with him the third time he was caught “spitting on God,” as they put it. Toue liked his children (lab-rats) to respect an entity he himself obviously wished to conquer. Religion may as well have been there as a tool to comfort the more desperate kids, especially if faced with something scary like removal of the tongue, fingers… eyes.

Virus didn’t push his opinions in a direct way, he only did it to those who were more active in the practice. He was pretty much a mischievous kid under the growing demeanor. A kid that put himself childishly in danger because he wanted to prove a point, he stopped after they had their “talk” with him. Virus had come out with not as much as a scar, his expression was smiling, but his face was so pale it was hard to see where the shirt met with his neck. He had stayed in bed for three days with the lights off, then got up like nothing had ever happened. Even so, he never left the bible at the bottom of the stack ever again. I still wondered what they “talked” about in there. Couldn’t have been worse than the time I was brought in for scarring a grotesque researcher with teeth, though.

Virus seemed to be that kid today. Doing something childish to prove a point, even though there were risks involved. My hands weren’t in my pants, instead they were resting over my chin. It was reasonable to assume he had gone stupid from emotions, but he had matured. He was adult, and he knew what he was doing.

_Crack_

He didn’t know what he was doing, I’m not entirely sure what the sound was, but it was similar to a joint being snapped. He must really have felt self-contradictory today, like a child.

I didn’t hesitate to storm into the room, giving rough treatment was fine, but breaking body parts was too much. I looked at Virus’ disturbed face, whom was standing opposite of me in the room, he looked at me like someone had intruded his territory, but it felt like he was the intruder. Aoba was shared between us, and by hurting his body he also damaged something that was mine. It almost felt like I was the one being crushed by the snake.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but be aware that Welter is right outside this room.” I said

Virus, albeit the messy appearance, was not concerned in the least. “And Hersha is inside this room, you may not be aware, but our allmates are equal in physical prowess,” Virus looked down at Aoba, who was squirming from the pain and shock. As if he intended to mock me, he crouched down to the damaged boy, touching the hair, which the pained Aoba didn’t seem to notice, “Venom. He is of a very venomous variety, enough to kill ten lions in a lucky strike.”

As Virus looked at Aoba, he had a mixed look of disappointment, sadness and amusement. It could be comparable to the face someone would make if their good friend ruthlessly beat them at a contest.

He now looked back, as if challenging me, he started stroking the tips of Aoba’s hair. I replied with silence, something Virus cut off very quickly.

“And so is Hersha, he is also very poisonous.” He smiled as he spoke.

Aoba reacted, which made me wonder exactly what he must have done to offend Virus so much.

“I don’t care, give me Aoba. You’re acting childish and psycho-ish, and I won’t let you damage him like this, even if it’s well deserved,” I didn’t know what was meant with my words, they just seemed right to me. I couldn’t be bothered to think of was to formulate the sentence into something more interpretable, “I don’t trust you with Aoba, give him to me.”

“First of all, psychotic. Second, are you concerned I might do something really bad?” He asked.

“Yeah yeah, and from the looks of it, you don’t seem to care.”

“What’s the worst I could do to my treasured Aoba san, then?”

“Kill him, somehow.” I claimed, hoping to give him an idea.

Well, I didn’t actually think he would do that. The wish to have Aoba secured with me simply made me say it to make him understand. surprisingly enough, someone looked offended.

“Do you really think so? To murder such a special person… Shall we try it then?”

The words were certain and daring, they sounded all too serious. Now I was feeling more than just an uncomfortable edge. Had he been scrapped? No, why would he be? Aoba wouldn’t have made his own death this long, and scraping us wasn’t physically possible. The reason for this didn’t matter, Virus wasn’t playing. Welter stood right behind me, I could feel its growl and would instruct it to pry Aoba away from the snake… but then.

“Hersha, please snap Aoba san’s neck.”

That one muscle in his mouth was the only one he had that was more well-trained than mine, and he had formed mortal words with it. I realized that there was no way for me to make it over there in time, the snake could do the job in a split second. My hands covered my ears instead, and (like a coward) looked away from the upcoming noise. I wanted to remember Aoba in a different light than this, not with terrified eyes and a snapped neck.

I didn’t know how much time had passed. I didn’t notice that my body was curled up like a scared child until Virus kicked me over with his foot.

“Fufu, honestly, how out of your mind are you? I would never do something like that. I don’t expect you to recall, but I set our allmates so it would be impossible for them to murder Aoba san,” He said, Hersha no longer around Aoba. Virus let out a frustrated sigh. “In actuality, I have been quite angry lately, and he found just the right place to push. I do acknowledge the damage inflicted, and will take responsibility tomorrow.”

My face remained unmoving as Virus had turned to me, knowing he was trying to read my emotions. He was lucky I didn’t get Welter to maul him, for a second it really was considered. I got up, feeling the bruise on my side as well as the slight embarrassment, but there was an important reason for being here.

I looked at Virus one last time.

“Man, you look ugly when your makeup is peeling off.”

Virus didn’t respond, but the snake had hissed. I wasn’t really afraid, a lion could bite through that thing easily. Instead of paying more attention to Virus, I scooped Aoba up, ignoring his pained cries as he was lifted. Soon I couldn’t help but hold him like he was made of the world’s most fragile glass.

“I’m entrusting him to you, Trip. I need some sleep without him, and he probably feels the same way.”

Going out without looking back, Aoba was constantly tensing and quivering in my hold. The right arm, however, laid dormant against my chest. On a particular step where I had not paid enough attention, his hand had pressed just a bit too much against me, and he really didn’t like that.

“Gh-!”

That’s what the cracking noise was, his limb was fractured. That’s annoying, now having to be careful whenever having him. Even with the intense pain he had, Virus was able to trump the broken arm when he put his words to use one last time.

 “goodnight, Aoba san.”

I felt fear radiate from Aoba, and it was unsettling, an urge to make Aoba relax was strangely strong. The second we were outside, well, the door wasn’t left ajar.

As soon as we were in my room, I laid him down on the bed, put the sheets over him and adjusted the pillow. Thereafter going into the bathroom, digging into the cabinet to scan for whatever could lessen the pain. After coming back and making him swallow some pain-reducing pills, the next thing to do was fetch health-supplies. Even though my lack of engagement in medical teachings were somewhat bad, I still remembered the basics of tending to what seemed like a broken arm.

I needed something that could work as a splint, luckily there was a medical bag standing inside the bathroom-cabinet.

Bringing it back, I wished to start working on it, but Aoba was still acting psychotic, flailing his arm around hopelessly. Pills could have a calming effect, and he was used to taking them when he ran lose all those years ago, so giving him something that washed pain completely away seemed alright. After giving an even stronger set of painkillers, I started fixing his arm with my limited information. I was never sure if there was a mistake in my actions, but Virus could fix the things I had gotten wrong tomorrow, I was confident the biggest damage wouldn’t develop further.

Aoba felt safe now, and my initial worry turned into slight anger.

“A-oba, what did you do?” My tone went cold by itself.

“U-g-g … I, I… sorry…”

Giving time for him to reply didn’t work out, his head rolled to the side and already started drifting off.

I lifted up Aoba’s small chin, “That won’t suffice for an answer, what did you do?”

He looked scared now, drugs being the only thing keeping him from screaming.

“I... I may…”

“You may have what?” I asked to push him forward.

“I spoke another man’s name…” He meekly replied.

Raising an eyebrow, I sighed vocally. Aoba must have done that in a moment when he really shouldn’t have, and that was stupid. He had already received an overly harsh punishment, so there were limits to just how much I wanted to punish him. The drugs seemed to have put him in a daze, so letting him sleep was the right thing to do.

“Hu-h… that wasn’t very smart of you, Aoba,” I wrapped the covers over him, but couldn’t help giving my opinion as I did so. Even though he was almost asleep, he tensed up in fear when I said that. “Don’t worry, I forgive you. Sleep tight.”

Aoba’s lips seemed to form a smile, that was so cute. I had to lecture him later, but right now I indulged myself in his comfort. The only thing more enjoyable than his scared or pained face, was the rare happy face.

 

* * *

 

 

“A-and then minutes after he… threw down. I tried crawling away b-but he called f-for Hersha. He p-proceeded to make allmate crush down on my body…” Aoba whimpered and sobbed so much that he needed to stop speaking again, I pulled him close, careful not to touch his arm. “H-he started demanding I apologize-”

“And you refused?”

Aoba hung his head, hit by my words. I rubbed his back in reassurance, hoping it would be calming. I didn’t like it when he had panic attacks, it was so dramatic and noisy. So uncontrollable.

“I-I don’t know why… I just wasn’t able to.”

I looked towards his arm, still wrapped in the splint as well as some newly added newspaper.

“How’s your arm?”

“M-my… I can’t feel much in the… thing.” Aoba said, his drugged state obvious.

“The snake fractured it, remember?”

“F-Ffractured?!” Aoba-s eyes flew open and he started breathing heavily and flailing with his legs. “F-fractured!”

“Ahh, sorry. Your bone is probably just twisted off its position a bit, maybe scratched. I didn’t mean literally broken into pieces.”

I held onto his shoulders until they had ceased with the overreacting. Aoba leaned into me now, muttering something I didn’t catch the first time, but he repeated himself.

“s-sorry, sor-ry, sorry.”

The attempt to hold a conversation with Aoba had not been very successful, he was drugged down and still afraid. Virus had only come in this morning, telling me I should ditch work and watch over Aoba (still sleeping comfortably) instead. That was unexpected, considering all the stuff we had to do. Well, I didn’t complain, Virus doing work for me wasn’t a bad thing.

What was bad was the fact that I wasn’t good at holding conversations, Aoba had been the active participant long ago, but after bringing him here it seemed like he expected me to do the talking. Even if he did think that, it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t good at it.

“Hmmm.”

“…T-trip?” He asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m not angry.”

“No… Not that.”

I looked at his glowing eyes, they seemed hollow, but at the same time they were overflowing. When touching his face, he flinched, but didn’t look away.

“…Thank you.”

I was unsure of what he thanked me for, but whatever I had done was worth it. A thankful Aoba was adorable, and I always longed for those kind words. Every expression he made was beautiful, and I sought to savor every part of him. I wanted to break him so I could build him into something even more beautiful. Someone who could only feel pleasure and happiness, no matter what he was exposed to. Until he was truly fallen, I would cherish his pained and shocked face.

“I love you, A-oba.” I stated.

He looked distraught as I said that, knowing that I meant it. Loving the way his lips would slip open, I claimed his mouth and caressed the flushed chins. His face felt so small in my hands. Not before long one hand pinched his left nipple, still alert to the splinted arm. Damn, how are we supposed to do this without hurting the limb? I lifted Aoba up by the legs, placing myself onto the bed, making him straddle me by forcing the thighs apart. He was sitting on top of me now, tensed and confused.

“Aoba, we’re going to “go at it” now.”

“Hg…mh.”

“Don’t look so scared, you’re going to control how harsh it will be. You’re the one who will move, after all.”

Aoba looked down at me, his dick was hardening, he tried moving his thighs together to hide it. Too bad, I was holding them down, there was no way for him to escape the grasp.

“Ride me.”

He looked even more distraught as I spelled the task out, why was that? Wouldn’t this position give him more control than usual? Perhaps he didn’t enjoy the thought of actively participating, then again, he was very active two days ag…

Right… he was indeed. If I pushed him a bit, maybe he would comply more?

 “What’s the hold up? Do you need Welter to come over and help you get started?”

“E-ek.”

“A-aww.” I couldn’t help but show the reaction.

He was reaching for my belt in seconds, all clumsily and restricted. Somehow he had been determined enough to undo my pants, he also seemed much less reluctant in taking my dick out and positioning himself. It had all been done with his left hand… I couldn’t imagine the Aoba four-years-ago would put so much effort into taking my clothes off, there really was progress in him.

 “P-please, do-n-n’t,” He pleaded as he slid down, Aoba’s warmth submerged itself around me in a tight, tensed manner. “D-don’t u-use… Allma-”

His insides felt warm and soft around me. It was interesting to feel every movement, every shiver, every clench from inside his body. He kept looking clueless, though. The lack of movement was becoming torturous.

“A-gh… It’s all good, I won’t call him over, but I might if you don’t start moving soon.”

He moved at once, rocking his upper body with great effort. His restricted legs were pressed tightly against my sides now… I might get bruised, actually.

“Aoba’s going rough, huh?”

“g-g-gha-!”

Was he in pain? I didn’t think much of it, he couldn’t actually feel agony because of the medicine, after all. Besides, feeling pain could be great, weren’t those two tightly connected? That’s what Virus claims, and as Aoba’s thighs pressed harshly against me I couldn’t help but really understand why he would say that. It blended in nicely with the softness of his body, and the warmth of his desperate voice. His hair was shining and messy in the lights perspective, and despite him being little more than bones, the light fell on him in a way that made him look almost chubby.

How did I find his awkward position, double-chinned face and greasy hair beautiful? Most people would surely call him “ugly” from this angle, but there was no way he was ugly. Aoba being chubby was almost wish-fulfillment at this point, and even the fat-layered hair was glistening beautifully.

Was it impossible for me to find Aoba unappealing?

His insides were becoming uneven in shivering and clenching, the vibrations felt good, but it also gave the signal that what he felt was not a pleasurable sort of pain, it was -well- just pain. At the very least, his body was feeling something bad.

Tears were dripping down his cheeks as he kept grinding on me, and his half-hard cock didn’t seem to stiffen at all. My selfishness had kept me from focusing on his needs, not anymore. I grabbed it, hoping it would be lead upwards, but he didn’t pay attention to it at all. He moved, eyes looking yet very drugged, like they were about to fall out because they looked so heavy. Something was… staining my pants, even though it was unappealing it was a natural part of being human. No need to pretend such things didn’t exist, but I wouldn’t pay attention to it, it was pretty gross. I was in so much pleasure that I didn’t bother to look, yet when Aoba turned completely soft in my hand and started fully sobbing, I saw something red.

The smell had been iron-like.

“Ah-hu? Aoba, stop moving.”

“N-ng-o…All-mghhate-Augh-!”

“Never mind the damn allmate, Aoba.” I snapped, the realization that my crotch was soaked in blood grossed me even more out.

He did as I said, and as soon as he stopped I hurriedly pulled him off, laying him down to see the extent of the damage. His grotesque seductiveness was apparent when covered in thin cuts, but now it looked like he was a rotting cadaver… like it was menstruating. Ahh, gross, it could be too much of the good thing as well. My mood was killed, I especially disliked how red it all looked. It added up many different kinds of bothersome illusions. What we both needed now was a bath.

I didn’t say anything as I carried him to the bathroom. Through offended actions, I purposefully pressed the base of his damaged joint, but he gave no reaction outside of a reflective jump with the right foot, the painkillers must still be heavy in his system. That was something I got relieved about moments later, it wasn’t Aoba’s fault that this had happened, he was just working too hard.

It was then I realized that Aoba could look unappealing, he looked ugly when he hurt himself.

I opened up the cabinet for towels and put them on the nearby chair. Putting the water on a warm temperature, it rained down on Aoba, whom had already been placed in the tub.

I undressed, then joined in. With a start, he jolted, and some of the water flowed over the edge. I had strawberry soap in hand, which I poured on Aoba. The soap foamed around the edges of his shoulders, forming a pattern that looked like angel wings. Well, he looked angelic until the water turned bright pink. I had to empty the water and refill it two more times before it stayed a pure color. Half the soap was gone due to the overuse as well, but it replaced the smell, so it was all good.

“A-are… you… g-o-oing to punish me?”

“Ah? No, not now.” I replied.

He closely lidded his eyes, seemingly wanting to drift off.

“A-oba, you’re not allowed to fall asleep.”

It was annoying, how he only kept his eyes open when he was being fucked or punished, would he ever try doing more than victim-playing? He moved his head up, looking like he was about to be beaten. That too, was bothersome, almost offensive. I would never beat him for no reason, it had always been a last resort. The last time had been almost a year ago, and Aoba had pulled much more punches and been sane as he did so. I guess it was cute that he was so afraid of me, but it wasn't always fun seeing Aoba looking at me with those eyes. He had such a fucked up view of us, acting like we'd kill him, even though we always reassured him that we loved him so much.

“We’ll talk some more, alright?” Aoba looked like he had some sort of a spark running through him, and not the good type. I continued “Don’t worry, you can say anything you want, I won’t do anything bad.”

“…”

No response.

“Aoba, do you wish to know about Sei?”

“S-sei?!” His eyelids shot upwards.

“Yes, the truth is that…”

I felt a churning in my stomach just now, should I really tell him? He looked hopeful and alive, but then again, this would definitely make him more vulnerable. Now that I think about it, didn’t Virus refrain from speaking of his death? Like how he also fooled Aoba into thinking I didn’t know he was trying to be cunning? Maybe Aoba should be allowed to enjoy himself for a bit, maybe I should allow him to repay Virus.

“Before that, let’s finish cleaning ourselves from all these fluids.”

Aoba complied, letting me wash his hair and face. He started washing my body as well, albeit with clumsy hurry, hand broken and all that.

The soap came with some sweets at a shop, I first didn’t care for it. However, using it on Aoba seemed nice, so I kept it. I felt like treating him, today. Lifting Aoba up, we headed back to the bed. I sat him on the side, and started applying it on his skin. He looked sleepy and messy, but he was clean again. Looking at his insides, too, I tried seeing if there was something to be done about the damage. We didn’t have more lotion for that area, but he wasn’t actively bleeding anymore. The best thing would be to leave it for now.

He was soon coated with different types of lotions and oils, and he looked incredibly erotic with the luscious skin and smell.

But I had learned that it wasn’t a good idea to take advantage of Aoba’s drugged state. Before we knew it we were resting in the sheets, no overdone red on our bodies or the newly changed covers.

I took in a deep breath.

“Sei is dead.”

“h…”

“He was declared dead 5 months ago, while it was sad I do think that it may have been what he wante- “

“h-h- HA…hha.” he started… laughing?

Something in Aoba must have grown into this breakdown. Maybe the shock of the arm, blood and now the news of his deceased brother was the cause. I thought about interfering, but decided to just let nature run its course. It did die down relatively quickly, I thought about saying something. looking at him, I opened my mouth, but was silenced when he spoke up.

“Did he look peaceful?” Aoba asked with unusual clarity.

“Hmm… No picture of his corpse was ever released, but if I were to imagine his face when he realized he was dying… it would definitely be a look of relief and peace.”

“…I’m glad.”

I blinked twice, looking at him. Didn’t Aoba want to save Sei? Or maybe… did he think death was freedom? That was hopefully just a small idea that would burn out soon enough, it would be tiresome to lock sharp objects away all the time.

“By the way, A-oba. Did you know how thankful I was for the blowjob?”

“E-e!”

I didn’t want to think about death and suicide, there was not much fun to be had if I were to subject myself to those kinds of ideas all the time. I was feeling like rewarding Aoba by letting him experience some sort of control. Or maybe I wished to spite Virus for hurting something that's mine.

“Say, why did you give me one?”

“…Y-you just looked attractive at that t-time and…”

“…”

I remained silent, then gave out a small laugh.

“Heehee. Going so far to keep me unaware, Aoba?”

He stiffened, I could see his frame twitch and give out small spasms. He hit the end of the bed with the immobilized hand; he let out a groan. The painkillers were no longer affecting him, it seems.

“P-please… N-no allma- “

“I’m not trying to scare you, and I won’t punish you. Virus messed you up good yesterday- after all, he told me about your intentions, too, and I never intended on punishing you for it. It’s only natural to get flickers of resistance now and then,” I extended my hand to his face, stroking and caressing it. “Virus may seem like the most open and blunt of us, but he hides things from you.”

“H-he knew about…”

“The one that informed me about the death was him.”

“He made m-me give… under false threats…” He looked straight up mind-fucked at this point.

_So adorable._

“N-not m-more than a day and m-mor-hn- “Aoba started crying, weeping without much sound, “S-sei… He knew.”

“I won’t tell on you, Aoba,” He looked at me confused, I sighed and sucked in another quiet breath, ready to elaborate. “If you trust me, Aoba, then you have a chance to mess with Virus and see just how far he’d go to conceal the sad truth from you.”

If the feeling of conflict could be manifested into a person, then that person would be whispering into Aoba’s ear now. I wanted to kiss that look, that hopeless appearance he wore- and I didn’t see why I shouldn’t.

“A-ag… Trip?” Aoba moved his head away, a thin watery line followed his lips.

“What is it?”

“Why are you acting… so… so strange?”

I flashed him a smile, leaning closely into him and kissing his earlobe.

“It’s just because I want to, Aoba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooh, finally got done with this. I hope it's decent enough! ^^'  
> It will only get more complicated from here, and it's going to go into more things that are not in the canon. I'll try to keep it belivable, but wow, this stuff ain't easy. This chapter was a bit more awkward and strange, but I felt the story could be in need of it, as well. I'm very happy for the positive responses I have gotten on this story, and for that I'm doing my best to deliver.  
> Next chapter will be diffrent from the previous ones, so brace yourselves! (Like I always do.)
> 
> Again, thanks for the responses, I highly appreciate it.


	7. Windows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba feels more hazy and disoriented than usual, the days pass by irregularly. He knows it will get worse.

I moved slowly across the hall, trying to ignore the lion’s eyes. They were both gone, and it really mattered that _he_ was absent. After approximately the first two years I was allowed into more rooms. Each year they would give privileges to account for my increasing cooperation. However, the knowledge about this place was still small and useless. The kitchen I now walked into was probably not the only one in the house. The only reason for that theory was one thing; no windows.

Sure, it made sense to them. They wouldn’t integrate such an obvious escape route into an illegal prison, but they weren’t the creators of this place. An architect wouldn’t have time to costume make a building in less than a month either. Furthermore, what kind of designer would put windows underground? There are some parts of a building that resides under the earth: basements.

No doubt, this section had to be the lowest one in the building. The mental mapping I held over the place and rooms would be like this:

Janitorial closet. (Rarely allowed in there. Not that I’d want to see what they used to clean my filth up with, anyway.)

Two bedrooms/bathrooms. (Rarely allowed out from there, I like it when they aren’t there. It’s easy to sleep.)

Recreation room and living room. (Allowed to be there as long as they aren’t using me. That makes it accessible half the time.)

Kitchen. (Standing here right now.)

Those are the parts I’ve been to and am aware of, but the only places I’d usually go to on my own were the bed-and-bathrooms. Today was an exception, something drove me up from bed to fetch food. The kitchen was -just like everything else- overwhelming in size, and also matched up with the depressing shade of, well, everything else, (black, grey). It connected with the living room where they tied me up whenever I needed correction. Of course, they usually made sure I’d be ten meters away from the place they’d eat. I still never ate with them, they sometimes tried forcing me, but I just end up falling off the chair/crying/acting hostile/ask if they’re finished eating yet. The only reason they wouldn’t punish me whenever I’d act out on the table must have been because they didn’t want to cause more negative associations with food. Once, I even overheard Virus telling Trip it was alright to forcefully give sweets, but never healthy foods. That rule had since been completely changed, seeing as even he would realize a forceful hand was the only thing keeping me alive.

I looked intently at the kitchen-counter. The light lit up the only white parts of the room, making the grey colors vibrant and blinding. It reminded me of the light from a coil. I had peaked over Trip’s once, with extreme luck the newest version of the program gave information of cardinal directions; just like a compass would. The counter’s glow connected to the wall reminded me that I was now facing towards north.

It wasn’t useful information at all, but it gave a positive feeling of power, which made me giggle. I didn’t chuckle after I found the bread and knife, then realized my right arm was still healing. With that in mind, I might as well be left handed. Virus was left handed, and somehow that fact made the situation even worse. To surpass even that, his hand had been a few meters away from me all this time, and I hadn’t noticed until he clutched against the knife I held up.

The blade side of it.

“-g…”

“hii?!”

That had to have been the worst scare of my life, I immediately let go of the handle and backed away with a heart in overdrive. Seconds after he released the knife, it fell down on the floor with a sound that probably wasn’t as loud as my ears signaled.

“W-w-…” I tried speaking, but nothing came out.

His hand was bleeding, it wasn’t as much as it could have been, the knife hadn’t exactly been moving quickly. His face was not smiling, but there wasn’t any discomfort either. He looked indifferently at me as he touched his bleeding palm.

“You are supposed to be sleeping, I hope you weren’t trying to do something stupid with that knife.” The words themselves were dramatic, but when he spoke it sounded like a trivial matter.

Virus picked up the dirty knife, placed it in a cabinet, found a key from his pocket and locked it. I was just going to cut bread, what the hell was with him?

“I-”

“Go to bed. Hersha will be sent down here to check if you listened to me. If you’re still here after 15 minutes you’re going in _there_ again.”

“…!”

With that, Virus walked out to the living room and through the one door I’d never been granted access to. The one facing towards south. There were so many things that would hinder me to even look in its direction, and I wondered what security was behind it. When he closed the door behind him, it was first now I realized what _there_ was.

I ran into Trip’s room, and got under the covers, the sound of the lion walking hit my ears. _It followed me to the kitchen._ For such a big creature, it sure was good camouflaging itself in the darkness. I, for once took its example and drowned myself in the shadows till I passed out.

 

* * *

 

 

“A-oba.”

“g…”

Trip was looking at me, holding a bag behind him somewhat discreetly. I tried moving, but felt so heavy. I had barely been able to open my eyes, and the mud-heavy air didn’t help my ascending posture. I gave up moving with little effort, rather falling back to focus on blinking away the unclear view.

“T-trip…?”

“It’s been some days since we’ve been “in touch” …or whatever,” I could only look confused over what he tried communicating, “I mean, we haven’t had sex in weeks and all. You should be ready for this again; don’t you think?”

Ahh, I get it. He was aggressive in approach, much more enthusiastic and dark than the usual unamused demeanor. The last time had made me carry a heightened fear for sexual acts, begrudgingly more because of my own actions.

“P-please… gentle.”

Trip had started smiling as my worried state showed, now he took up the bag and went through it.

“What?” My voice turned less groggy now, transforming into worry due to strange sounds emerging.

“Don’t worry, nothing here will hurt or scare you,” he paused a bit, looking up with his eyes, as if considering the last statement, “…probably.”

Lube was lightly thrown beside my left shoulder, rope now suddenly hanging in front of my eyes.

“I’m going to tie up the three unbroken limbs now, okay?”

Somehow my growing paranoia mistook his words as him intending to break the rest of my limbs, and my voice didn’t hide anything.

“Trip, what are you doing?!”

My legs were kicking, but weren’t going anywhere due to being caught in an iron grip.

“Tying you up, why?”

I looked at him in disbelief, starting to weep in desperation. At the very least I assumed that was what had happened, considering he now dried my face with the arm of his shirt.

“I wish for us to feel good, not for you to cry. This won’t be painful. I promise it won’t.”

“W-wh… please don’t break them.”

“Aoba? You should know what a metaphor is, you’ve even explained some of them to me before. Do you honestly think I’d tear all your joints from each other? I don’t know why this is coming up now, but the only thing I’m working on breaking is your pride… and it seems like I’ve already succeeded.”

I focused on the ceiling, wanting to be somewhere else due to my crybaby behavior while simultaneously being disgusted by paranoia and the ongoing assault. Or maybe it was due to feeling warm when he tried “comforting” me.

I gave him my left leg, then my right one, then my left arm. Rope now bound my feet away from each other, all secured to each side of the bed with the only exception being the right one. My genitals were unappealingly exposed before him, making the vulnerability unbearable.

“I’ll make sure you won’t ruin the experience this time, A-oba.” He confused me, yet those words faded from my attention the second he brought the lube up.

“N-no, please wait.”

“Wait? Are you still sore?”

“No, that’s no -Ah!”

Trip poured the coldness of the bottle onto my dick, then smeared it all over. Clearly he didn’t care as long as it didn’t have physical consequences. I couldn’t help but let moans slip out as his fingers were resting right over my hole, the anticipation made my dick twitch.

“You’ve become so tight from being neglected here…”

His fingers forced themselves in, my body found itself agreeing fully with his words. It hurt, and I knew his dick would hurt even more which caused me to tear up.

“Gh-a-a- it… painful.”

“You can take it, Aoba.”

His voice made it clear he wasn’t going to reason in any way, I could only bite my lip instead. I felt more lube drip onto my body, Trip pulled out his fingers and coated them in the liquid. He didn’t waste any time reinserting them. It felt better now, his fingers didn’t feel as overwhelming as before, my dick now stood fully erect in the small pool of lube and precum formed under my lower stomach.

“A-h gmh… ah…”

“Your voice sounds so whiny yet endearing at the same time… Ahh, sorry. I’m going to proceed, you’re too adorable to just watch.”

And proceed he did. If the rope was just a bit rougher in its material I would have scarred my ankles and wrist, but it only held me in place as the sound of him unbuckling was heard. It hurt as he stretched me back out to accommodate his size, and I couldn’t do more than throw my head back.

“Cute.”

The pleasure still laid dormant inside me, but it started to come undone really fast as he sped up. If I still felt pain I had turned numb to it, now replaced by a calming and intense feeling. He held onto my hips even though it wasn’t necessary. I couldn’t help but wonder what kept me from going completely insane, part of me wondered if I had gotten there already.

“You’re doing good, A-oba.”

“gmh.” Despite myself, his encouragement made me shiver.

“Coming?”

His accurate understanding of my body was scary, but I wasn’t able to feel that fear for very long. He sped up more, grabbing my dick and forcefully jacking me off, I shamefully found the intrusiveness arousing.

“H-Ahh.”

Cum now dripped from my body, and I could vaguely hear Trip’s moaning through my cloudy viewpoint.

…Was he still moaning?

Suddenly I felt empty, and realized Trip was laying beside me on the bed. My unfocused, dissociated state frightened me, and impulsively I grasped on to the nearest thing I could find.

“…? Aoba, you’re still awake.” Trip said, obviously tired himself. The statement got me even more afraid, seeing as it indicated I had been out for a long time, my hand hugged around him tighter. He looked at me, stroking his hand against my right arm. “Shouldn’t the medicine be kicking in by now?”

“You’re not like this.” I said.

“What?”

“It doesn’t make sense…”

I could elaborate for hours; it wouldn’t change a thing. The initial shock was still there, and the drugs were bringing it forth. Having someone you trusted not only betray but mercilessly rape and torture you for the hell of it. I had cared about them, and they still claimed they loved me, so what even was the point of all this?

“Huu… Things often turn out different than you wanted it to, after a while you become used to it and just accept it.”

_But you didn’t have to. You didn’t have to follow Virus, nor did you have to assist killing the minds of so many people. I could have liked you, for fuck’s sake, I could even have loved you!_

“I see… g-good night.” I swallowed my feelings and closed the world off.

“Nighty-night, Aoba.”

I really could have…

 

* * *

 

 

Something -light as a feather- touched my half-conscious head. There wasn’t an urge to shoot my awareness through the roof, and my gratefulness was uncanny. Trip was a person that alternated greatly from “standard” behavior, so to suddenly have him treat me decently felt almost… incongruous. He sort of just grew up after my arm broke, even keeping away from my nether regions until yesterday. He’d only approach me to give food, ask me about various things or even suggest watching movies in the recreational room. I declined whatever was acceptable to refuse, having already had a taste of his weird movie collection many times before. He kept what could only be described as children’s cartoons and splatter-horror in the same box, that’s red flag enough for me. Of course, he didn’t get why I found it creepy… in a way that innocent confusion was endearing. Maybe because he’s the only one who still has a drop of such things left, even though it quickly turned as flattering as a kid with a gun aimed at my forehead.

Still, I smiled vaguely, knowing Trip had proven himself somewhat alright by nursing me back. I rubbed my closed-off face, now ready to show a hint of gratitude- then I opened the eyelids.

“V-virus!...”

I hadn’t seen him in more than once the last week, and there was no way to forget what he had done. Not to speak of threatening me with the box and grabbing a knife blade-side. He looked almost apologetic, keeping his fingers on my forehead. Somehow it made me feel bad, but it didn’t overwrite fear.

“Let me start off by saying I am truly sorry for hurting you, Aoba san. There are many things going on that are unfortunate, and I hope we can get through it together.”

I tried backing off, but the wall stopped me.

“Please don’t be scared, Aoba san. Not a moment has passed where I haven’t regretted my actions…” He leaned down and kissed the splinted hand with a gentle smooch. “I have checked up on the hand every day since that event took place.”

Every day? I can’t recall having ever seen him until now. Is he being a dirty liar? He smiled softly, speaking up again, “You must wonder why you haven’t seen me, well, Trip put sleep-medicine in the food so it would be easier to examine the damage.”

Trying to vilipend fear of his freakish mind-reading, I rubbed my itching hair in attempt to distract. This did make sense to me, it had been much easier to sleep than usual. The hand had gotten much better as well, and how Trip insisted that I ate more than usual. It still didn’t make up for anything.

“W-what if I don’t take your apology?”

“You may do as you wish, I’ll try to make it up t-”

“by putting me in the box?!”

Oh god, why did I do that? How was I able to do that? I felt angry, that was why, and having him just come back with a façade expecting forgiveness was infuriating. I had caught him yesterday when he was too exhausted to resume a role, and I got just what I expected to see. I was angry because of everything, and it all accumulated in the worst moment it could have.

“Aoba san… regarding that, I thought you were about to really hurt yourself. Yes, I did threaten you, but if it makes it any better I wouldn’t have gone through with it.”

“You always go through with it.”

“There are exceptions to everything, Aoba san. Many things are happening at work, and it causes me to act off.”

“I wish I could relate to your struggle.” Was I being too reckless? I didn’t know, but anger was searing through my blood and I couldn’t control it anymore.

“You’re being awfully talkative today, Aoba san.” He narrowed his eyes. The voice shifted from Virus’ usually patronizing tone into a more natural one. That voice was used whenever he meant something.

“… I- sorry.” The sudden drop in tone was unsettling, because of that I no longer played with the fire.

“It’s most likely the medicine making you lack restraint, and I suppose you are within right to be angry at me.” He readjusted his tie, making it easy to see a small line against his palm, “We need to put this conversation on hold. I came to inform you about something, is that alright?”

As usual I wanted to scoff at the question, it wasn’t even meant to be threatening anymore. He formulated the command like that because it came natural to speak in gentleness. Yet there was a certain amount of seriousness in his eyes that drove me to nod.

“Toue has more than just influence at this point, he is going to get to us if we stay here much longer.”

He looked somewhat stressed… no, it wasn’t just about being stressed. Virus was a mess. Messy hair, his glasses were uneven in alignment which unflatteringly showed off his dark circles. Most creepy was his eyes, still pure white and artificial. They didn’t seem to have… veins, never had I noticed that before. The contrast was sickening, no matter how many times I had questioned his humanity, this was the first time I contemplated that he wasn’t even in the species. Of course, he wasn’t a robot, but that uncanny white was a reminder that Virus had once also been a victim to genetic experimentation. Now the perpetrator’s perpetrator is coming- not for the victim- but the victim’s victim.

Was this human nature? To be brutalized and battered, then seek out someone you can transfer the pain on? Part of me was hopeful and part of me was scared. I was unsure if this was good or bad, I wouldn’t be raped anymore- but there were things that were worse than that, and Toue probably conducted experiments that made rape look like cuddling.

“I’m glad.” I outright mocked, knowing he wouldn’t hurt me.

“Aoba san, do you know just what he’ll do if he gets to you?”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t be much worse than now… he has sei, too, after all.”

Virus lost all muscles in his face, it took all my power not to flinch away. That was him, absolutely nothing at all, and it was horrifying. I was taking a huge risk by doing this, there was no guarantee Trip had been honest when he claimed Sei was dead… this may all be a setup. It was only a split second before he regained himself, and he was probably mad.

“Toue has… is letting Sei rest up his health. That’s why Toue needs to use you for his research.”

“…At the very least… my body won’t be wasted.”

His hand was still hovering over my cheek, but it was no longer resting. The feathery feeling had turned into something more like spider-legs. The strained eyes showed the anger that was being restrained. If I weren’t hurt, he would definitely have backhanded me.

“Do you know what happened to my eyes, Aoba san? I wasn’t even allowed to see them after the operation. They had thrown them away because a damaged retina and collapsing cornea weren’t suitable for Toue’s future vision.”

“Hg-!” 

A sharp pain hit, and I could see a blue thread hanging from Virus’ fingers

“I wonder how he would dissect it, pull everything out strand by strand to analyze your pain tolerance? You must admit the thought makes your hairs stand up, right?”

“B-but wasn’t Toue kind in a way? I mean, if your cornea was already-”

“You misunderstand, Aoba san. That was after they were pulled out, some researcher failed to preserve them properly.”

I was perplexed. Toue would be that reckless when it came to a child’s health? I wore a scared expression, no longer because of fear, but because of defeat. He may have thought otherwise, considering he grew a gentler tone and eased the tension.

“I don’t want you to have a regrettable epiphany in Toue’s hands. Please don’t go acting stupid, dear.”

I couldn’t feel much more than pain from the removed hair, but I did wonder if the headache was actually due to remorse.

“Does it hurt, Aoba san? Here take these painkillers. Your last ones went out half-an-hour ago.”

I took them without much thought, there was no way I’d turn down pain-reductants.

“I do hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me, and I hope even more that you are aware… me killing you would never happen.”

There was a glass of water besides the bed, it was now in Virus’ scarred hand being pressed against my mouth with persuasion. As drops came into contact, I couldn’t help but note that my mouth was drier than sand. I started drinking as scraping turning audible against my head, soon there was someone, no, something else in sight… it looked exactly like me, but it seemed older and less humane. Its fingers were polished with a glaring purple. It was looked like me, it could only be seen by me and I knew it wanted to hurt me.

Of course, Virus was still cunning, seems like it really was urgent to get out.

“M-mor- “

“I am sorry, but you’ll have to drink more later. We have to leave very soon. They’re certainly not fooling around anymore.”

…

Morphine.

 

 

* * *

 

Shooting, flinging, firing.

I felt like laughing.

My head scattered around, or was it my mind? Someone was running, there was breathing hitting my hair. Sounded like… Trip? Why was he running? He had a black lion, didn’t he? Hadn’t Virus said no running in the hall… or was that Granny when we were at a museum once? I looked up, they must have painted the whole interior black, for I couldn’t see any walls. There were white spots on the roof, that’s funny, my aim must have gone hiiiiiiiiggh the other night.

 

I zoned back and forth, now they had washed up the roof, but the bed must have been collapsing in the process. It was shaky and unstable, the smell felt weird and unusual. Something was coiling around my body. I blinked and saw two people in front of me, yet they weren’t facing me.

 

More rumbling… the bed had started to fall apart, I am sure.

 

He asked me to rest again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done, I'm a bit uncertain about it, but I hope the chapter was decent!^^  
> This is probably the first big turn, they're being chased by Toue and Aoba is becoming even worse with his health. I'm also taking some more risks with Vitri's emotions, so please bear with me (it turns hit or miss very quickly)  
> I'm almost at a thousand views, that's amazing!  
> Also, if the ending was confusing I'll explain: Virus gave Aoba morphine to knock him out. They have to escape from Toue who may or may not be after them now.


	8. Frames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba and Trip go for a small walk outside.  
> Later the same night, Aoba tries to remember how it was to cook with granny. It doesn't go so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been dying to release this, but just wasn't satisfied enough until now. I enjoyed how this chapter turned out in the end, and hope some of you will feel the same way. This is where the story takes a big turn, and I hope the enjoyment for the story doesn't fade. 
> 
> (Also, small warning. This chapter contains needles, just in case anyone has a phobia.)

My eyes opened, but were closed at once. The interior wasn’t black, my eyes screamed at the absence of eyelids. I shifted my head. The pillows were a creamy beige color. To the right there was a window, and to the left there was a table sitting casually. This room had ordinary colors, I though the same about what the room contained, then I saw reality again.

There was another, smaller table with a mirror over it, I observed my chained limbs clearly in its reflection. That was the least unnerving, the scare itself was from the black-bottled chloroform, the obscure medical devices and weapons laying under my mirrored body. I hadn’t been saved, after all. My feelings were unmoving at the fact, nothing was gained or lost. The chains holding me were familiar in their own right, even to the point they felt secure when they were hugging my ankles. Toue had unknown chains which might hurt more.

Looking back to the window, I felt more alive than ever. The adrenaline clouded my judgement, but made me focused. I realized it might be an escape route. If only it could be reached, someone might alert authorities due to screaming. I had counted the number of loops in chains many, many times, thus making deducing their length much easier; it only took a glimpse at the current one to see the distance may be possible. I might make it to the window.

As I was about to tip-toe on the floor, footsteps were heard.

If God painted actions, he jabbed and rabbled on strokes of adrenaline on me. I shot forward, only thinking of the outside, seeing it was good enough. It came into view now, the night sky painted with vibrant stars. For a second it felt possible to join them, then I realized they were impossibly far away to make that wish realistic. I feel brutally down, hitting the side of my shoulder on pointless interior, at the very least it wasn’t on the right shoulder-side.

There were shards of glass scattered over the ground, a vase must have fell. Seriously, what was with the overflow of cabinets, Virus and Trip didn’t have more than two in their rooms. No time to worry about that, though. The chains were stubborn, clinging onto my now wounded leg. Iron really cuts skin like butter, and right now I wished the limb was amputated. Freedom was too close, I didn’t even need to be free, just enough to revel in its comfort. To see more of the sky, just a single tree bathing in the moonlight… something that had been taken from me for half-a-decade. Like a starving man would kill for food, I was just as hungry for sensory input. Part of this was my own fault, and I knew that well. If they had trusted me more they would at the very least allow me in a forest or an abandoned building, but my body rejected the idea to follow their wishes. Even so, now was another chance, and the chain was cutting harder into kicking, aching flesh. I could see the nightlights, but the moon was still not within vision.

Please…

“Aoba?”

No no no no no no, why couldn’t the goddamn foot just fall off. I wished for it to shred brutally off now, for it to rot and die independently.

“H-h! HELP! SOMEO-”

 

This place had no windows.

Only a painting of Eden displayed in hell.

 

Even though my body couldn’t evade his grasp I did force my lips together. Trip clammed one hand around my mouth and the other around my throat, his fingers tried to prying themselves under the lips and into my mouth. I wasn’t going to let him gag and make me throw up, it would exhaust me.

With a risky move, my mouth opened, closing instantly around his finger. He let out a sharp breath, but instead of pulling it out he kept going in even after broken skin and blood merged with my spit.

I realized there was not much time. With one- maybe two- undirected kicks, I attempted to break the thick glass, but the only thing my toes met was the edge of the cabinet.  

“…-G-Unf-!”

The small yelp was enough for him to move in enough to mute me, his other hand pressed under my neck, bending it so I could only look at the roof. His fingers were in enough for him to separate my jaw, now with the cruel irony of blood chocking my throat.

I was turned to face the floor, preventing suffocation as small spurts of stomach acid hit the ground with his fingers still buried deep in my throat.

There were many useful things related to forcefully inducing vomiting, disgust and fatigue were amongst the main reasons, but the feeling of humiliation was most effective. So bad the latter feeling was everything I could feel. Even after he pulled his fingers out enough for me to breathe- but still inside enough to hold the sides of my tongue- came an uncomfortable type of relief.

“Nice try, Aoba, but even if you were to break the window no one would hear you.”

I don’t know if that was what caused me to tear up, or if it was due to the vomiting.

“Shh, It’s o-kay, Aooba.” Trip said, I could feel his chest rise and fall from holding me down, “You’re really amazing, still being able to fight so hard after being drugged.”

 “mf-! Gh…”

“Do you want to say something, Aoba?”

Trip pulled out his fingers, removing then folding both arms under my armpits while connecting his hands together in my lap. 

“P-please, I just want to feel the outside air.”

“Why?”

“S-since…”

All went quiet. Trip was behind me, but it was still easy to figure out he had drifted into thought. He did that from time to time, constricting me to him without doing anything. Too scared to break the silence I shuffled a bit instead, earning a reaction.

“Hmm, alright. But if you scream or try running Welter will be right behind you.” Trip’s words were threatening for sure, but another feeling was more apparent: He actually means he’d allow me? “It seems to matter a lot to you, and since we’re far away from anyone who could help you… Just remember this Aoba, if anyone actually can help you, Welter will be right behind them as well.”

He breathed into my ear as if the point hadn’t already been unnerving. My limbs were all chained, so my relief concerning him removing himself didn’t make much sense, after all, he would have had control even if I had broken the window.

We stood up, and Trip’s voice turned cold.

“Aoba, remember. It’s been long since I last gave big consequences towards your behavior, don’t let me refresh your memory.”

His breath was like iron, and the cause of the smell took me back to memories where he last took a bite. Even now I could feel it in my skin… even the other way around. My teeth still had a small taste of blood coating around them.

“It was the moonlight, right? It’s a bit cloudy, but we should be able to see it.”

Trip shook me from the fear and took me by the hand in his usual tight manner and lead me to the bed.

I hesitated, misunderstanding his intentions with a “yelp.”

“No, not yet. I’ll be taking you out first.” As if he’d said something amusing, he chuckled.

“…” I kept a sultry glare.

“Huu… clothes, Aoba. Sit on the side and wait a bit, okay?” He took a short walk to the baggage I hadn’t registered before, taking out a shirt and black pants.

“This one is Virus’ and this one is mine. Which would you rather wear?”

I reached out towards the pattern-less ones that didn’t cause my eyes to scream. After that, I accepted to wear one of Trip’s shirts, seeing as it was bigger than Virus’. I liked the feeling of being concealed behind layers of cloth, but tried not to get too used to it. Trip lend me a hand, and helped me from the bed. We headed to the door, and the closer we got the more anxious I felt.

“Hmm… you’re clinging to me.”

“-e!” I removed my hands from him with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, that’s what you should be doing when we step outside.”

His words didn’t hit until the door opened; revealing the lion. I gulped and hid behind Trip, something that half the time encouraged him to send it straight at me. Fortunately, I was on the lucky side of that percentage. It was like Trip was unaware of how traumatizing it actually was, that he didn’t really do it to harm me as much as he did it to feel entertained.

“It’s okay Aoba, come here.”

He dragged me along as if I were a kid, now stepping outside. It felt strange to be outside, it was much colder, and it was dark. Yet the stars that had felt mocking were now welcoming me.

“Trip. Thank you so much for this.”

“You’re welcome.”

I tried to walk too quickly, then the lion growled.

“-!”

“I have to establish some rules, though. Don’t think you can run away; you’ll be holding my hand at all times. Welter will always be present and I will be the one that starts walking.” He was very serious, and I was not going to challenge his established laws.

We were on a flight of stairs that held the look of fire escape stairs. This beige and pointless motel truly was in the middle of nowhere. There was something I presumed to be a “lobby,” separated from the blocks we resided in, but the windows were dark. I scanned the number of cars, and my hope was drowned out when I saw there was only one parked here. My legs were shaking, deeply contemplating if I should still try to scream. However, the lions small growl forced me into silence. As close as freedom was, I was like a monkey in a zoo, separated from the outside by a thick layer of glass. I could see and feel the sounds of the outside, but was still trapped with wild animals.

“There’s a big field leading to a forest behind the building. That should be safe,” Trip was thinking out loud.

I nodded slightly, being dragged along like a small child.

As if minutes were seconds we were already standing in the field with a clear view of the night.

“So, what now?” He asked.

“Can we… sit.”

“Welter.” Trip commanded.

My initial reaction was panic, but as I realized Trip wasn’t going to torment me, my nerves calmed.

“So, lean on Welter.”

I obeyed, and he sat down beside me.

“How does it feel, Aoba?”

That was a very good question. How did this feel. When I first realized I was outside, there were no actual feelings… but suddenly I could process it.

It was a very good question, and I knew of an adequate answer.

“How did you feel when I collapsed in the Oval Tower?”

“You should already know it was the best feeling of my life.”

Even though his words unnerved me, they also reflected my current feelings.

“Trip, I can almost feel love for you. Thank you.” I was lying, but my now streaming tears hid it well.

“Aoba…” He pressed himself closer to me.

I looked up at all the stars, truly relaxed for once. It was pitch dark, but I could hear the wind and feel the clam grass. Those things meant so much to me. I closed my eyes wanting to truly feel this moment.

Then Trip’s coil rang.

“Oh, we have to go back now.”

Before I could even contemplate sprinting into the dark, Trip had taken a hold of me.

I was dragged back to the block we resided in, for a moment Trip’s hand left mine, but the lion was still guarding me.

I walked a little to the left, just trying to go away from the roof enough to see the moon again. That was until I heard movements. Maybe I was stupid, maybe the wind made it easy to confuse Virus’ hand for a gush of wind. A sting on my neck, and suddenly I saw he aimed at it with a full syringe. Trip had been a second away from me, but it felt like an impossible eternity in the split moment before the needle was to enter me.

“Ahh, stop it.”

“I will not, Toue’s been sending all kinds of security after us. Why would you give Aoba san a chance to escape on top of giving Toue a chance to steal him away.”

“There was no risk in the first place, we’ve been driving for days without end. I guess Aoba’s situation was a bit sad, and I simply took pity on him.” 

“Is your pity worth risking Aoba san for?”

“No-”

“He will obviously be safer with me, you go upstairs and watch out for any _pests_ Toue might have sent after us.” Virus cut him off, still remaining collected through the obvious anger.

Virus dragged me along before I even had a chance to tell Trip goodbye.

 

“Aoba san, I hope your walk was refreshing.”

I didn’t respond, too scared to give the honest answer.

In just a moment we were at the place Virus’ room was, it was under the stairs I had walked on previously. I walked in and looked one last time at the nightlights before the door was closed.

“Aoba san, you may reside in here, but if I ask you to come to the bed you will obey.”

“Y-yes…”

“Good.” Virus smiled his characteristic smile and walked to the other room. On the floor I saw Hersha, but wasn’t really all that surprised.

 

* * *

 

 

I saw a cooking book containing Asian recipes. Picking it up, I had decided to do something special.

With a strained hand I spread out the semi-curled page to examine the recipe- nothing. Granny used to make korokke for lunch. My memories were rusty, seeing as this was the first time in forever I had made food.

I went from memory and mashed the potatoes, took the meat and onions, and boiled it. I took an egg previously left on the counter, cracked it and whirled it into a solid orange color. While doing all this there was something the boiling water and cracking of the egg had drowned out.

Virus was behind me.

I felt his body heat. This was the second time he had done it, so why was I so put off? The slightest move backwards could end up with us touching. I’d rather finish cooking without his interference, so instead of turning around I simply stayed put and pleaded ignorance. That’s what I tried doing, but that was hard when an essential part of the meal was missing. Moving could force me to acknowledge him, but standing still would be just as suspicious. I tried walking with baby-steps and stretched my hand to the bread box.

“Aoba san, this isn’t Japan. Panko isn’t a normal commodity here.”

Now I had to notice him, yet my lips felt stiff and my legs were aching. Instead of doing the logical thing, I instead tried using normal crumbs of bread as Virus remained ignored. Reaching out and gathering them was an act of desperation.

Then his lips were on me. Biting and nibbling uncharacteristically at my neck.

He kept going as I was trying to get to a mental place where finishing the korokke was all that mattered. Using this type of rough and dry bread made it impossible to create a good dish. The crumbs were usually the size of sea salt; these were as big as pills. Yet… I was going to finish this, even if something was leeching off my back.

I looked at the boiling water, on the brink of overflowing.

“P-please, need to watch for the…”

“You have already finished putting it in, yes? twenty Minutes should suffice…”

“…? What-”

Virus was acting rough, and it scared me. He had in one swift movement dragged me up over the ground and carried me off. I felt so weak. While the near future was highly predictable, how it would play out was another story.

“Toue’s on our heels, we had to leave our home on a day’s notice, and here I find you frolicking outside.”

My clothes were filled up with a damp sweat that instantly turned cold. He was really dissatisfied with me.

“Trip hurt you and made you bleed. He hasn’t done half the things I have to keep you safe, yet the second I manage to slip up you act as if he’s a hero.”

Virus dropped me carefully onto the bed, the second his arms were off a coiling sound was heard.

“Well, maybe I should put myself first tonight? Seeing as I always neglect my needs for your sake.”

Hersha coiled around me, squeezing up until it felt like someone was punching my stomach. The giant snake moved towards my face, licking a bead of sweat. Why was he suddenly this angry?

“Viru-hs-! Why are you suddenly like this aghu-ain?!” My shaky voice wasn’t due to the fear; my guts were contracted deeply due to the allmate.

“Again?”

I squirmed impulsively when Virus loomed over me, his gaze unreadable. Blank. He looked with no anger or happiness. He was too focused on me to show anything.

He went away in the blink of an eye, now smiling.

“I’ll go and fetch some… toys.” I gulped at Virus’ words, his grin turning happier. “Hersha, you warm Aoba san up for me, alright?”

It hissed as means of replying; it sounded enthusiastic.

The worst punishment they gave used to be the allmates. Social, moral and ethnic feelings were crushed under the pretense of having sex with animals. Maybe that fear had subsided due to the fact that it was, after all, a pretense.

Allmates were simulations, and as much as they acted and appeared as their assigned animal roles, they were artificial with full obedience to their owner. That’s something that made me relieved before making me even more fearful, those beings were under my captors full influence. If this was an instinct-driven snake, it would have crushed my bones and suffocated me. This “snake” however, was working to tear clothing off my body to assist in sexual assault.

It coiled under the shirt and tore it up by the buttons until the only parts left were small fabric pieces at my back and arms. It moved to the pants and opened its sickly huge mouth, biting through the fabric just over my crotch.

I gave a small breath out, too scared of its fangs to move. It took its tail under the torn pants, and started pushing it off my body. How long did it take? Ten minutes? Seven minutes? Five minutes? It moved to the underwear, and in a similar fashion, tore it off. I had now been changed into my usual attire.

I felt scared of Virus’ absence. Had he left me to be prepared by the allmate, and it could be forceful. It coiled back to my face, now with its tail prodding at me. I felt it enter inside very slowly, spreading me. It got more and more ruthless, and pain kicked in as it didn’t stop going in. My voice quivered as the size of the tail made me wider and wider, and it only got deeper and deeper.

No, it felt scary. I took both hands, and tried prying it out of me. A small pain ran through the strained part of my right arm. It was relatively healed, but clearly not fully recovered.

The snake was the thing that made it like that.

I stopped resisting, but the snake still coiled over my upper body, hissing in my ear. A shiver went through me, and my perverted body started reacting.

My dick was filled with blood, now touching my stomach. The shame blended with the fear, making me even more uncomfortable. It moved out, only to reenter harder. The process was repeated painstakingly slow for what seemed like hours. The korokke was probably burned at this point, and my arm felt like it was in a similar condition. I focused on inhaling the little amount of air my body could access. Just as my eyes were about to close, Virus came in.

 

“Aoba san, are you conscious?” It sounded like a joke as it flew from his mouth, I quivered at the apathy. “Seems like you are, that’s good. That means it’s time for some fun.”

I tried entertaining his idea, but as my eyes reverted to his hands there was room for nothing but anxiety. He had needles, unused syringes with liquids in them. I caught glimpse of the one he almost used on me as well.

“Virus, what are you going to do?”

“Fufu, are you curious, Aoba san?” Virus came over and blocked the rooms only light, hanging from the roof. “Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.”    

Virus shifted a bit, only to loom right over my pinned body. He hanged one of the syringes in front of me.

“No damage will defile you or your body. Unlike Toue, this research will be for your sake.”

With no warning he jammed the needle into my non aching arm.

“-!” I shifted around as the snake assisted in keeping me still. “…-N-Nno! VIRUS STOP!”

The scream even surprised me, and Virus had for a second seemed put off as well.

“Aoba san, this is for a blood test. We’ll have to keep you sedated on drugs for a long time and can’t afford underestimating the dangers long term use can have. Stay still.”

That’s what he said, but it didn’t explain why the snake was inside me. It started moving harsher than earlier.

“Even like this… Hersha still manages to excite you? Adorable.” He mocked.

As he retracted the needle, there was something else that stung. His attitude hurt in a strange way. I had hoped he had been sincere when he told me he regretted hurting me… seems like it was a lie. Was it punishment for wanting to relive a distant memory? Would I only be allowed to live vicariously through those two?

“Onto the next one.”

Again, he shifted, for a second letting light in before blocking it with his vicious smile. This needle was filled with something.

“Ahh, this? It’s just a little something retracted from the medicine we’ve given before. Don’t worry, it’s not the same deal. You might become slightly drowsy, but the liquid is only a new innovation to test a person’s tolerance for the drug. Don’t want to risk your health.”

I wanted to chuckle at his disingenuous bullshit, but fear was good at holding my tongue. The liquid was injected with a small sting, but most of the discomfort for needles had subsided. After all, Hersha was still violating me, and that replaced the fear. It was only now I realized my mouth had created breaths verging on moaning.

“My… you’re practically leaking from Hersha’s movements. Or perhaps…” Virus removed the syringe, “The way you acted out signified some type of belonephobia, but now...”

“ **Go to hell** , you insane philosophunculist!”

Everything stopped.

Even Hersha’s movements stopped, waiting for his master’s next command.

“I… I’m s-sorry.” I was almost genuine through the fear. Something had hijacked my mind- was it Sly Blue? No, Sly Blue had been absent for so long I couldn’t even hear him. The shout had been what was left of my reason, and now I was about to see where it would leave me. “I didn’t mea-”

“Fufufu -hahaha.”

“-V-Virus?”

“- No, no please excuse my behavior Aoba san, you’re just so cute I could cry. Using a big word to accuse me of using big words. Truly Aoba san, always so clever.” He prepared another syringe, having now returned to casual speech. “But that endearing outburst is better used elsewhere. There are more appropriate places to catch up with our differences.”

And as if nothing had happened, Hersha continued moving, making me moan just before another needle entered. To my shock, pleasurable waves hit my body from the contrasting sensations.

“You see, what I was about to say was that you’re the type of person who can take a phobia…” Virus drew my blood out with the needle, the sensation giving chills, “and turn it into philia.”

Virus twisted the needle as Hersha sped up.

“A-Ah!”

I cried out, but Virus wasn’t done. He grabbed me by the hair and lifted my head up. “See Aoba san? You’re even more of a deviant then we initially thought.”

He left a kiss on my mouth, feeling too sweet. I could feel cum trickling on my skin, and the snake was reluctantly slipping out.

“That was satisfying, wasn’t it? Fufu.”

“…”

My mind was kept hazy until an epiphany hit me.

“Y-you were going to put yourself first.”

He had left the bed to arrange the needles, now looking back with a questioning glance.

“That’s what I did, Aoba san.”

“You barely touched me.”

I had not been exaggerating. While it would have been hard to differentiate between the cold steel of needles, an allmate and Virus, it still hurt to see that his kind of pleasure was mostly derived from my distress.

“Aoba sa-” He started speaking, but paused as I left the bed and headed out, “where are you going?”

“K-korokke.”

He remained silent, seeming almost impressed by my determined stupidity to take out burnt food.

I arrived in the small kitchen, and as expected the meat and vegetables were burnt to a crisp. Still, I pulled it away from the heater and onto the counter- clumsily trying to form the disgusting fudge into patties.

Those horrible excuses for food made me look for more supplies, but there were not enough resources left to make a second portion. I spread the too literal bread crumbs evenly over the dough. I wondered if there was any point in putting it in the freezer to cool. I decided on it in the end, sitting down and waiting for it to cool while looking through the beige curtains. I didn’t need to look the other way to realize that Hersha was watching me. Surprisingly enough, Virus had not come after me and dragged me back. Well, he didn’t really have anything to worry about when there was a giant snake flinching by the smallest movement I made towards the window.

After fifteen minutes I went and fetched oil, put it in a pot to boil. As I took out the clads of ash, bread and dough, I couldn’t help but winch at the smell. Somehow, the urge to make and eat something outweighed the need to puke.

I put the failed dish in the boiling oil for four minutes, and repeated the process eight times. The barely intact food was lying on a plate, flung together clumsily. As I was about to sit down and take the first bite of my “achievement,” Trip came in.

“Aoba?” He questioned, but his stance changed as he saw the plate.

He stormed in my direction, pushed me from the “food” and looked suspiciously at me.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“W-wha…” I almost felt offended, “no, no I made korokke. Just ask Virus.”

He went away with the food, rudely going away to ask Virus if I were trying to poison myself. It didn’t take long before he returned.

“Heeh… So you were telling the truth. How did this happen to the food? you used to be better at making food than this.”

 _The years of crippling humiliation and isolation made me a bit rusty,_ I thought bitterly- almost humorously.

“Was Virus bullying you again?” I looked at him, slightly hit by his question, “He’s been distant lately, didn’t even look at the food as he told me it was alright. Told me to get out right afterwards as well.”

I realized he was going to leave, and he would take his warmth with him. The fact that I viewed Trip as comforting told me a lot about my mental state. Yet it didn’t matter, I wanted him to stay. It seemed like he understood my silent plead as he ruffled my hair.

“It’s Virus’ turn, so I can’t take you with me. We’ll be together tomorrow, alright? Bye-bye.”

“G-good b-”

“Goodbye Trip.” Virus stood on the other side of the room, callously telling Trip to leave.

Trip shrugged, closing the door with a small thud.

Virus approached me, making me unnerved.

“I apologize, Aoba san. There has been a lot of problems lately. Me and Trip have been switching between sleeping and driving for a whole week until we were sure it was safe to rest. Coming to see you in Trip’s room only to see you weren’t there made me anxious.”

I hesitated, wondering if there was any point in talking to him.

“Why did you punish me when it was also Trip’s fault?” I asked with genuine wonder.

“I wasn’t punishing you. My methods may be forceful, but it was most effective.”

With a tired hand, I lifted up a korokke and took a bite. I nearly choked on the horrid taste, but kept eating anyway. My motivation was questionable, me being more focused on spiting Virus than to relive a memory.

“Gh-! Ug… Well, why did you make the snake _fuck me_ in the process?” I almost smiled as Virus’ eyes narrowed.

“To subside your fear and replace it, as already stated. This isn’t the last time you’ll feel the sensation of needles”

I kept coughing up the horrid food, tearing up from the strain.

“Aoba san, I get the message. You’re still determined to do things yourself.”

“That’s not what this is about, idiot!” The physical pain made me lose control of my tongue.

To my surprise, Virus didn’t bat an eye at the outburst. Instead, he took up a korokke and took a bite. I was amazed at his ability to conceal the disgust.

“…I’m sorry for not regulating the time properly. I got carried away.” He said, clearly regretting miscalculating the time.

“Is my pain really that funny?”

Virus paused from eating, and looked at me with an empathic glance.

“That’s not what that was about, idiot.” He said, but it was not in the same mean spirited tone I had said it in, his words felt warm in my ears.

How revolting.

“I wish you were genuine.”

“I wish you usually spoke as fluently as this.” He replied.

Something hit me, I hadn’t hesitated and stumbled with my words because I had problems speaking; this way of talking was how I communicated submission. But… even with that unpleasant truth, I let out a quiet sigh, realizing he would keep on evading my words and run me around in circles until I’d break down by my own mind.

“I am very tired and – believe it or not- regretful. Yet there is no time for this now, so I’ll be letting you off scot free for your unpunished disobedience.” Virus broke the sneaking silence.

“Both of my arms can attest your lie.”

“…Aoba san.” His voice had a certain tone that made him seem offended and almost sad, “those needles did give me important information that will benefit you, and also make it harder for us.”

I took a bite out of the ashy dough, feeling its sandy texture assaulting my teeth, “Oh? And what else was beneficial? Did my fractured arm give you something similar to the word bone?”

“Aoba san. Act your age, if you make one more comment like that I will discipline you thoroughly.” He retorted very strictly.

The fear for punishment was slower than usual, the adrenaline was there but I somehow felt little to nothing threatening was lying in his words. Then again, my body utilized most of my brain cells to inform of the disgusting mush I had in my mouth. As if in reassuring me in some kind of sick reciprocity, Virus also kept eating his share of the charcoal.

“Aoba san, please listen clearly now.”

So I did, looking at him as clearly as my drowsy eyes allowed. Virus’ tongue was stained with a sooty color as he spoke;

“I guess it’s good I didn’t use the anesthesia on you earlier. We can’t use the drugs anymore due to increased risks the test revealed. You have to stay awake as we travel from now on.”

I nodded, trying to conceal a smile.

We both knew at that moment I’d do anything to take advantage of this situation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Aoba to make food to relive a moment of his past. This was surprisingly hard, as I first started by skimming through the anime to find them eating a dish I had never seen before. I researched traditional japanese food until I found something that resembled what they were eating, then I watched videos on how to prepare the food and everything. I hope this little "sub plot," wasn't entierly bad, as I wanted it to show aspects of the characters.  
> I've come to have very mixed feelings about myself, seeing as most people are rightfuly repulsed by these subjects, and here I am. Dedicating almost 100 pages and counting. Oh well. Wait... If you've come this far then I have to congratulate you for reading almost so many pages. (According to word, anyway.)  
> Even if I have mixed feelings, I won't stop writing as long as someone enjoys my work. It makes me really happy to know that people enjoy what do.  
> (Well, ain't I a cheese factory at 3:22 in the morning.)  
> Oh! And also  
> philosophunculist= Someone who pretends to know things they don't. (Can also describe a petty or insignificant philosopher.)


	9. Scrapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba tries to fight again. He never got to know if he achived anything.
> 
>  
> 
> (Warning: This chapter involves victim blaming. Please be careful.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, everyone!  
> I hope you've all had a good time in 2016. I'm sorry for the late update, having literally not updated since last year. Life will always give you things to do, it seems. My life has been so busy lately that I have only been able to work on this before bed. I plan to finish this story, even if my last update is in 2020. Hopefully it won't take nearly as long as that. Haha!  
> I am very happy for this story's good reception. I did not expect this story to be liked as much as it is. 
> 
> I do hope this chapter will entertain.

My chin was grabbed to look upwards at someone.

Trip? It was him, probably. He usually grabbed the hardest… or no. It was Virus, he was the most forceful these days, but that was an accident, a one-time thing. Trip liked grabbing my jaw more, so it must have been him.

“H-hi, Trip…” I spoke out.

“Fufu, I’ve gotten over being offended by something as trivial as a name, Aoba san.”

I flinched, wondering if he would break my nose for this.

“You are still afraid of me? That honestly makes me a bit sad.” He sighed, easing in on the grip. “You would have known it was me if you hadn’t stayed awake for three days, it’s easy to imagine how blurry your vision must be.”

I wanted him to leave me alone, but he was right. The snake was enough restriction, so a blindfold wasn’t needed to keep me in check when they were driving. It had been a week since we left the motel. At every opportunity, I had watched for something to use against them. Virus and Trip would switch around when the other was about to faint, allowing them to take breaks in-between. One was always beside me, they were usually not very bothersome, seeing as they would spend most of the time catching up with sleep before once again going behind the wheel. Both would, however, have some hours where they were awake with me.

Trip was predictable in the sense that he hadn’t changed his treatment of me. Sometimes he would suddenly kiss me or grip me tightly, as if I was his only sense of comfort. It wasn’t very fun for me, seeing as he wasn’t above biting or pulling my hair for a reaction. Well, it did help me stay awake.

Virus was worse, being the calm bastard he is made it harder for me to stay awake. He would also be as inappropriate with kissing or touching, but he would never be spontaneous. He’d give me a gentle warning beforehand. The worst was his active pursuit to make me sleep, he didn’t like how much I tried to find a way out of the car. Sometimes he would even hum for me, or try to hold me in a gentle position so sleeping would be easier in the car. I had not given in, he had been amused when my eyes would tear up from neglecting myself sleep. I hated him for it.

I had only slept once or twice, sometimes going in and out of consciousness. I realized my body would pass out soon, but no way would I show it.

“Do tell me, Aoba san, that you are aware the car isn’t moving?” He asked, and my puzzled expression told him enough, “I guessed that much, we will stay here for one day to catch our breaths in a more proper way. I’ve also taken it upon myself to assemble my own… department or staff, one could say.”

“D-department?”

“Yes. My job hasn’t changed that much, you know. Why do you think I told you about the morphine technology?”

I paused, taken aback by the certainty he held. “Y-you only told Trip that one t-” sleep deprivation had made me drunk, too stupid to realize I had fallen into a mental trap until the words were out.

“Don’t worry, I knew you were awake when telling Trip that. Why do you think I gave so much information to someone that knew it beforehand?” Virus assured, leaning slightly in on me.

“…”

“Anyway, you seem to have problems falling asleep, why is that?” Virus touched my thigh. “Hersha is coiled around you, is that why? Or are you thinking that staying awake proves something?”

“J-just want to…” My head leaned to the side, becoming unfocused again. I jolted back up as my mind reminded me that I couldn’t sleep.

“huuu,” Virus sighed, signaling Hersha off me. “You almost slept…I suppose I ought to help relax your body.”

Virus lifted the blanket that had been wrapped around me under the snake, and tore it from my body. The cold air hit me, making shivers run through to the bone.

“Oh, I’m sorry Aoba san. I forgot to heat the car… just a second, ok… there.” Virus had reached for the adjustment buttons at the front seat, the moment he looked away I tried reaching for the car door.

“GH-AAH!”

My hair was pulled harder than necessary, and Virus’ irritated breath was resting on my neck.

“You’re lucky I grabbed you. If I hadn’t, Hersha would have bitten you before you even had the chance to put a foot outside.” I could feel his hot tongue run over my ear, causing me to feel more awake. “You don’t think this is something I’d ignore, do you?”

“O-of c-course no-..Ah!”

“I’ll only let it slide this once… not for free of course.” Virus would pull even harder as he spoke, only let go after finishing his words. “Take off the clothes you are borrowing, now.”

I tried turning around to face him, and as he was just within vicinity my head turned back. His eyes made me feel cold. I gathered myself as my hands were making halting movements up to the torso, unbuttoning the shirt Virus had provided me. He seemed to gradually turn irritated at my constant flinching after a button was undone.

“Aoba san, our time surely is not as excessive as you may comprehend it to be. I gave you the chance to undress yourself, but you are simply too slow.” Virus didn’t even finish before tearing at the shirt’s seams.

“N-no!”

“Ugh…” I froze at his vocal annoyance, he turned me around forcefully until I was pinned to the car seat. “You seem very persistent in expression your deepest opposition to this. Can you at the very least spice it up a bit? It’s tiresome to hear the same words.”

He was unbelievable, wanting me to vary how to express my opposition to being raped. My mind stopped.

Every feeling I had stopped when I thought of rape.

That word… rape. It was something even barbaric cultures would react to, maybe because of pride more than the act of violence itself, but it still made me think… I sometimes felt turned on by the realization that he was raping me. Knowing I was like this was so twisted I wanted to die, I wished my mind would react positively to being killed instead. Sometimes I would forget why sexual violence was a bad thing, or feel jealous and angry towards people who had only been raped once or twice. _They didn’t deserve pity, nor should they be sad. They could still recover and function in society after treatment… if not, they could **kill themselves** as means to escape, and they could do it easily and with time. I got no such luck._ Thinking like this, it was wrong, I was completely aware of it, but the moral feeling was gone…replaced with a simple, logical understanding.

 The fact that I felt more jealous towards more fortunate victims, than anger towards Virus and Trip made me frightened. What was it? Heh, rape was _“bad,”_ and shaming a victim was _“bad.”_ I was _“bad,”_ but not as bad as Virus and Trip. I could **feel** more than that simple logic when I thought about them. I could **feel** why they were **_bad_**. Yet I couldn’t hate them. It was strange that I still understood that, because when I was with them, crimes weren’t only legal, but non-existent.

I bit my lip, trying to seem strong, “Virus, do you h-honestly think that’s a fair complaint?”

“Fair?” Virus asked, midst of removing my pants, “I suppose it’s a silly request, but no one likes repetition, so it’s not exactly ludicrous either. It’s not very hard to say something different like; _“I won’t forgive you,”_ _“if you don’t quit it, I’ll never speak to you again,”_ or maybe even _“if you go through with this, I won’t even consider you a friend.”_ That would be refreshing.”

The worst part was that I had said all those things to him at one point. Seeing as no matter what I’d say, nothing would stop them, I would give up and rather express my disapproval for the sake of my own pride.  

“B-but Virus, I did spice it up.” He pulled the pants off rather violently before looking at me curiously. “I succeeded in making you stop when imagining _him._ ”

Virus smirked, hovering over me again, “That’s true, and I must admit that it got me. Luckily for us both, such a thing won’t ever happen again.” He took me by the ankles and placed my legs on each side of his hips. “Why would you enjoy thinking about him? That’s what I still don’t understand. You’re good at thinking high of him, but where was he when we stole you for ourselves? I doubt he’s been looking for you, fufu… I don’t even think he’s alive.”

My mind was filled with hope when he said he didn’t “think” he was alive, he didn’t say “know,” … maybe he was alive. But that begs the question… why hadn’t he come, five years. It was hard to believe he couldn’t have found me by then. No, no, this is wrong, if he was alive he was still looking for me, Virus was trying to fuck with me again. There was nothing true about his words. I was laying under not only a rapist, but a murderer too, if I stretched the definition enough, one might even call him a cult leader. Trip wasn’t better, but while his morality was bad, Virus didn’t seem to have any at all. Virus, he… he was self-aware when it came to his crimes.

“Now, Aoba san. Don’t you think we’ve talked enough? I’ve been missing the sensation of your body.” He whispered gently, then suddenly a finger entered, “You’ve become tight again, how bothersome.”

His voice turned aggressive as another finger was inserted. I felt how his fingers were making wave-like movements inside my ass, trying to find where it would feel best. His fingers separated from each other, and started grinding against each side of my inner walls. First at the entrance, and then going deeper.

“…Ha.”

“It’s nice to see that you like it. How does it feel?” His voice revealed his suppressed emotions, and his lack of personal space helped drive the point home. “It’s almost like a sharp electricity, right? But it’s not painful, and even though it’s rough, it’s soft and gentle all the same. Your face looks so warm, you’re pretty… Aoba san.”  

I didn’t like how flattered I felt, or the butterflies that were emerging from my stomach. Trying my best to ignore it, I focused on his eyes instead. Closing my own eyes was not a good idea, I had to stay awake.

“I apologize for not being intimate with you the last time, my main priority was to keep us safe. Seeing you having Hersha coiled around you filled me with ease.” Virus stroked my hair, “but I’ll take my time with you now, my dear Aoba san.”

A third finger entered me, and I could not refrain from crying out.

“My, my. Are three fingers too much for you?” Before I could say anything, he shoved them deep inside me, “I’ll have to change that.”

“huwhaa…” It felt very good, and my tired state had made me susceptible for even the slightest sensation.

He kept loosening me until he deemed it good enough for him to commence.

“Aoba san, I’ll start now. Please be as loud and clear as you can.” His voice was deep and gentle, more so than usual.

“Gh…”

My voice weakened as I felt him positioning himself, and my own dick was painfully hard. He hadn’t touched me, and I didn’t want to touch myself. He kept going, and even though only half of the tip was in, I already felt strained. Virus was patient, and observed my struggle calmly. My own hands made their way to rest on each side of his neck, his expression turned surprised. I hoped it was a good thing.

“Oh? You look uncertain. Fufu, don’t worry, Aoba san. You rarely touch me back, so I’m happy that you’re doing it now.” Virus kept pushing against me until I lost my breath, “Shh, I’m almost inside now. Just take it for a little longer.”

“Gh-Ah!”

He pushed himself in completely without warning, making me whine. I blinked and felt a tear fall from my eye, it really hurt to suddenly have him go all the way inside.

“Hgm…” Virus let out a groan right after me, and lidded his eyes. “Huu… I apologize, did it hurt? I see that you’ve turned soft.”

I peered at him, waiting for him to make me hard again, but he didn’t grab it, and he didn’t start moving.

“Aoba san… I want you to touch yourself.” I gazed at him, put off by the sudden command. As my body tried to separate from his, he stopped me. “H.. I didn’t say you could do that. Touch yourself while we’re like this.”

I wanted to ask him why such a thing was necessary, but knew it wouldn’t make anything better. Embarrassed, I looked into his hungry eyes before averting my sight down. My hand seemed weak as it felt around my cock, but having him stay inside me made it easier to get erect.

“Haa… your insides are shivering so much around me, can you feel it too?”

I didn’t want to challenge him, so I’d speak the truth, “Y-yes… I can…” I felt my dick grow harder, and could feel him inside me more and more as well.

I tried to keep my eyes open, but the pleasure made me drowsy. As if to alert me, he started moving slowly.

“Fuhh.” My voice slipped out, and my hand let go of my member.

“Aoba san. Don’t stop touching yourself.”

I clenched my teeth, and kept going as he moved.

“You’re putting up…h- quite the show, you know…” Virus was looking impishly at me, seeming very content with what he was seeing.

As his pace increased along with my hand, my legs stretched out until they pressed against the car window. I imagined how lewd it was for Virus to see me like this, all leaned back with my legs firmly pressed against the glass as my hand kept going faster.

“Cute, Aoba san… Are you going to cum all over yourself like this? I’d love to see that.”

It sounded like a suggestion when he spoke so softly, but I didn’t wish to find out if it was a command. I jacked myself off until I lost control, likewise, Virus started moving violently inside me until my legs were shivering. He had kept his control until now, but as I did what he wanted and came on my stomach he no longer went easy on me.

He grabbed me so that my legs lost their footing on the window, and my body was pressed against his. He laid down on me, and started kissing me with not only his tongue, but teeth as well. I was barely allowed to breath until my body almost suffocated. I felt so tired, even as he slammed inside my body so brutally did I feel like passing out.

“Agh… I l-love you, Aoba san.”

“V-virus…” I closed my eyes, feeling completely spent.

I didn’t want to imagine his grin as my body gave in under him. I couldn’t stay awake any longer, and Virus’ victory was demonstrated as I felt him wrap the blanket around me. I just had to live to fight another day, so for now, I resigned.

 

* * *

 

 

“Aoba, I know Virus said the building was vacant and abandoned, but I spotted a child outside. If that child spots you… I will have to load my gun.” Trip spoke to me, almost with anxiety. He was outside of the bathroom in the building. “I have never killed one before, so _please_ be quiet.”

Trip was dead serious, making me even more tensed. Not only was the lion with us, but he would kill anyone who saw me. I had not been trying to escape for that reason, the building was in the middle of nowhere, but the possibility that a child was present was nerve wrecking.

I averted my attention back to the building, just to stay calm. It didn’t seem to have been abandoned for long. There was still electricity in the bathroom, which meant I could use it in peace. At least this time I could. Trip had looked at all the walls before letting me in here alone, and the door would be busted if I wasn’t out in 10 minutes. This bathroom was bigger than usual, having five meters of empty space in all directions.

I was already done using it, but was staring at the mirror over the sink.

I peered at the reflection, that wasn’t my body. It had nothing to do with petty insecurities. The thing in the mirror was not accurate at all. The being was the same thing I saw last time Virus drugged me, it had then stood tall in my peripheral, but it was still obscured like I had looked through a broken screen.

This was a clean mirror for an abandoned building, it seemed like the only thing that survived. And the being residing in it was painted purple at the end of its fingers, the eyes looked identical to mine, but as I gazed closer it felt like their colors were inverted. It didn’t have a given name like reason and desire, it had been unseen until now.

…Blight.

Until its purpose becomes clear, that would remain as its name. Looking at it caused me to feel like my heart was shattering, while at the same time feeling the world around me was decaying. Was this being the remains of desire? It would explain his absence, but he wouldn’t have gone willingly. No. Not at all. I realized it at once, this blighted creature ate him while he was suppressed in the back of my head. It was going to eat me as well.

“Aoba? You done?”

Trip’s voice flung me out of the epiphany.

“A-almost. Just give me some more minutes.”

As if by some miracle, the monster had disappeared from the mirror and gotten flung from my reality. That was a momentary misconception, as when I turned to open the door it stood in the way.

I was sober and it was standing apparent. The fear it caused was a surreal one, even though it was all in my head it still made me feel the need to vomit.

It watched with no movement, the only thing animated was the purple veins. That’s what I thought they were, but as “blight” was now meters away within saturation it was hard to tell if the veins were actually a dull yellow and blue. Even the veins appeared like cracks in its skin.

When had my mind created that horrid parody?

It moved a step forward, causing me to flinch backwards. I crashed into the wall, and felt part of it break due to my weight. I hadn’t just flinched, my body had tried to run on its own.

The thing from my head kept coming closer, it looked like it was floating. It was slow, but it didn’t stop moving, the thing was making me tear at the wallpaper, I kept forgetting everything due to the panic- even that Trip was outside.

“Aoba? -…” The lion practically tore the door open, and Trip stepped in with a calm demeanor.

“T-trip?!”

Anger flashed across his face when he saw that the wall was close to being torn open. I looked around for the thing that had gone after me, but it was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, there was no room for relief when Trip was glaring at me like that. His hand shot forth and grabbed my neck tightly

“I really wanted to trust you, but now you’ve proven that to be highly stupid.”

“N-no, that’s not what I-”

“Quiet.”

Trip was angry with me, still holding his hand around my neck. I heard a growl resonate, reminding me of the lion’s presence. My rescuer was only a lesser of two evils, and I had no right to feel at ease. My knees gave in, shivering due to lack of balance.

“Maybe Virus was right, maybe I’ve been reckless. Sorry, Aoba, hopefully you’ll remember.” His voice turned soft and almost apologetic.

He flung me to the floor, making my joints creak and my will to grow bleak. Trip demonstrated his cruelty further, picking me up and throwing me right back against the wall I had just been pressed against. His face was blank, but his feelings had never been more readable.

He grabbed me by the right arm, applying pressure it couldn’t withstand.

“No-Hgaa! Tr-i… ghu-”

“There’s a kid nearby. I’ve never killed one before. Please shut up.”

This time it didn’t sound like regret, but more like blame. My last effort for morality caused me to shut it. My voice was muffled behind my mouth, making me sound like I was being suffocated by a pillow.

“You know, it’s been really hard to get by. You seem eager to run around, applying even more… you know.” Trip pushed harder against my forearm, twisting it in the process. He was able to communicate what he meant very well without good wording. “Maybe your arm is not the suitable place for punishment… if you can’t run, then…”

“T-trip?! N-hmm,” I silenced the scream as his warning flashed in my hand.

 

**_Shut up._ **

****

He kicked my leg sideways, causing a slow, shattering pain in my knee followed by a numb prickling. It was like stumping a toe mixed with a sleeping arm, but the pain radius was wider. I couldn’t hold the screams anymore, the only thing to do was plead that the kid had run home.

“g-HAAaa!”

“Aoba… relax. I’ve done this many, many times before. That kick has not caused your leg to break apart. Your balance will simply be a bit… lessened for the next week. Has something to do with senses and nerves.”

Anger was seeping through my whining screams. I felt with the leg, realizing it could be moved with relative ease, but I decided against trying to support myself against it.

Trip let go of my arm, which was in a similar- but milder- state. I tumbled to the floor, feeling the stench of rot, but that horrid blight thing was absent. It had gone away when Trip had come.

“Walk.” Trip commanded with a lazy tone.

I raised my upper body till it stood with proper posture, but my legs remained still.

“No.”

“No?” He said with disbelief. He walked a bit away, eyeing me. “Welter can help if you lack will, are you sure you won’t try?”

“Y-you didn’t even consider that I was frantic, you just presumed I was trying to escape. I’m so goddamn scared, and you punished me the second you got the opportunity.

“…Welter, Aoba needs some motivation.”

He called the allmate forth, causing my body to crumble. It was like betrayal all over again.

“I wanted you to help me, but instead my body ends up with bruises… Where is he?” Virus wouldn’t allow this if he was seeing the extent of the physical damage, if only I could call out he would put an end to this. “V-VIRU-”

The lion hovered right above me, blocking the echoing sound. My body was screaming.

“P-please…”

“Start walking then.”

The sadness and fear caused despair I hadn’t felt since the first year of imprisonment. Something kept me from walking, and it wasn’t my foot, it was a protest.

My breathing sped up, but it felt like I wasn’t receiving any air. I felt a ringing in my head, with sudden flashes against my vision. I couldn’t move at all, and in the duvet of this desperate heaving, time was obscured. I could barely see anything, only hearing the distant sounds of my own rapid breathing. The disorientation made me wonder if I was finally dying, that this was my last experience.

I wondered if God was real. If he was, then I hoped my soul would fall to hell. Meeting a being that ignored all my prayers with brutal indifference made me so disappointed that I’d rather be tortured with enthusiasm.

“Aoba…”

I registered the voice. Hell it was, then.

“Please answer me…”

Something was holding me- no, Trip was clinging onto me.

“…h”

I started to regain control of my body, my vision finally letting focus in on the surroundings.

“D…do you h-enjoy… this?” I focused all my contempt into the words as bloodshot eyes glared, still getting over the psychotic episode.

Trip didn’t answer, instead he kept hugging my body as if he’d lose me if his grip lessened.

“Trip. I think these events threw me out of my element. Please just sedate me.” I didn’t actually wish to become sedated, but wanted to see his reaction.

“No.” A definite answer was spoken.

“Can you answer me?”

“I just did.” Trip spoke as he finally let go of me, leaving my body vulnerable for the cold air.

My body was sitting in a bent position, almost lying now that Trip didn’t support my weight. I wouldn’t get the chance to lie properly, for Trip had now taken my non-battered hand and dragged me up to face the mirror.

“I overdid it.” Trip said.

“You didn’t.”

He looked at me through the mirror with a spark of relief. “You don’t think so? I made it harder for you to-”

“No… that’s not what I meant. You didn’t answer the question.” I said as he averted his eyes sideways, probably in the closest way he could communicate disappointment. “Do you enjoy doing this?”

“Aoba…”

“Don’t act like this is sad for you.” I snapped, a little harder than intended. “The one who loves sending me into mental torment is you.”

“Only if I know you’ll come to enjoy whatever’s done to you.”

Any healthy person would have been enraged at that comment. The way he claimed I were subconsciously loving torture, it was the words of the lowest type of scum. I, however, only registered the alarm bells ringing furiously, as if it was something new. _He was insane._

Shuddering slightly, I looked back at Trip in the mirror, his eyes peering at mine. As I looked at what was now clearly my own reflection, an idea came to me.

 ** _“Do you want to see my enjoyment?!”_**  I used it, with all the strength I had left.

He knocked me to my side, but I held a stern glance at myself in the mirror as my own mind flung around me.

Then we both collapsed.

 

* * *

 

 

My eyes were opened widely with as little as a wink after the fall, looking hazily around me… I found myself in what I would hesitate to call “back home,” it was Trip’s room, to be exact. He was lying on the floor to the right end of the room, right under the door. There was something dark blue wrapped around my body- clothes, no, not just that, my old ones.

My happiness was disrupted the second I realized that none of this was real. I scrapped myself on impulse, and some cryptic demon resembling Trip was at the exit. By default, it was no chance the real Trip had followed inside my head. Toue’s technology did its job well, _they_ were a living testament of that.

The problem was now that I didn’t understand why I had scrapped myself. I remember having used it, it could be used to heal- but it was obviously designed to kill. The power had therefore not been explored enough for me to get a hold of it. I took a chance, hoping there was some way to heal myself.

Its main ability had to do with adding or subtracting emotions, going over the assumption that the targeted object possessed appropriate… well, properties. What those exact properties were, was hard to figure out. I never dared to explore scrap’s limits due to my ethical stance, no way would I use it on innocent people. I had gotten information when I tried using it on those two. Virus and Trip were in a safe zone.

Maybe scrap was directly connected with empathic qualities, but I had surely scrapped apathetic people in my rhyme days. What was missing may not have been emotions, it could have been something simpler. They claimed their eyes were the reason for this, but the manifestation of Trip lying at the front of the door seemed unusually real. People not present under scrap’s effect would always appear as shadowy memories, leaving only me and the scrapped individual clear in their head.

Chance was, I was overthinking this, seeing as the amount of time spent with Trip made it easy for my own mind to create a believable copy. The main priority should now be to… what? I still didn’t understand what my intent was, and I always knew what my goal was when scrapping someone. The logical thing would be to track down and destroy that “blight” thing before it caused my mind to rot away.

Trip’s figure moved, and my legs shivered. A damaged persons head could be truly terrifying, and a victim of crimes reaching my unfortunate magnitude would surely have horrible things in their head. Trip was facing the door to the outside, and his face wasn’t visible. He started to get up, which made me get into a fighting stance. Failing scrap would be dangerous, and I should at least try doing something more than quiver.

Trip turned around, making me realize his face looked like… oh God.

I froze to the ground.

It truly was Trip. His face was clear as day, and his posture was completely natural, and now he was inside my head.

He didn’t give me time to start weeping again, which was the only good thing about him slamming me right into the wall. It hurt like all hell, but as his synthetic eyes were full of remorse and confusion, I could almost sympathize with him.

“Aoba, what is this?”

“Ah- I… Scrapped myself.”

Trip’s eyes darted around, still holding a firm grip on me, “That’s very… unexpected,” He said, his hand on my shoulder went limp before gripping twice as hard. “In any case, you will end it now.”

“N-no… you don’t know.”

“Know what?” Lips pressed tightly together as his words slipped out with his patience.

There was no time to elaborate, I intended to press back slowly… yet Trip would not try to move away. I pressed against him twice as hard and was about to give up until I saw that Trip struggled against my force. I pressed harder, and he stumbled. That meant that in my head I was somehow stronger than him. I had the ability to overpower him. The same man that lifts me up and forces his way in me routinely was now in my domain, and completely defenseless against me.

I hit Trip as hard as possible, and my heart pulsed quickly with a gentle rush. He stumbled right down to the floor with a surprised expression. For a moment, we both stood still, no words left either of us. Trip’s face was no longer surprised, but back to the expressionless hell I always had to deal with. He touched his face where I had hit him, his nose was bleeding.

“…Gh…aah, so you were right, Aoba. This is scrap after all.” I stepped closer to his knelt over body. “So… what will you do? are you going to take this opportunity?”

For the first time in forever, I smirked. Of course, he knew the answer already. Murdering him was a dream come true, even if it was in my head.

It started with a kick to his sides, and he let out a small groan. The most satisfying thing was forcing him up and hitting him in the stomach until he couched up blood, he made sounds I had never heard from him before. I twisted his twitching wrist until a snap was heard… but he did not cry, nor plead for me to stop. He watched me, not broken, but humble and defeated. The more time passed, the more I felt terrible for doing this. One tear. I wanted to see just one tear from that soulless shell.

 

But no matter how much I beat him, nothing came out.

 

“Bet you don’t care for me now, do you Trip.”

I punched him, and he let out a small whine.

“Tell me what you think of me now?” I looked at him, cold as ice. “You hate me now, I bet.”

“Gh-“

“Come on, you superficial, manipulative scum.”

“H-gh-he heh. Aoba… I still love you,” The bastard smiled and almost giggled at my attempts to hurt him.

I couldn’t do it.

“You’re… truly insane, Trip.”

He let out a chuckle, some blood trickling down his face. It felt bad to see him in that state, and it was horrifying to realize I… was unable to kill him.

I turned around and walked towards the door.

“Aoba?” Trip called hoarsely.

“I can’t do it. The fantasy I’ve been dreaming of every godforsaken day, and I…” Despite my effort to make Trip weep, it winded up being me possessing wet cheeks as my voice trailed off, “I can’t kill you. Can’t even hurt you… I always expected you to be the type to throw curses and get into rage and hysteria once you lost power, instead you take it better than I have.”

As I confessed to my perpetrator, he sighed in what was indistinguishable from empathy and annoyance.

“You’ve been taking it in a different way, Aoba. I shouldn’t have punished you without hearing you out, and while I can’t know for sure, Virus has probably gotten similar thoughts after breaking your arm.”

I still wasn’t facing him, uncertain if it was shame or hate that gave him this cold shoulder, but my mind didn’t bother to give any more attention to him. I was best off focusing on the door. I tried prying it open, but it stayed in place.

I tried again, slamming the handle and prying until my palm felt warnings of blisters. My body screamed at me to let go as the uncomfortable itching on my palm turned to intense stinging.

“Hgm-!” I silenced the whine so he couldn’t hear.

I let go, but some of the skin… didn’t.

The handle was being heated up more and more, slowly melting and dripping with pieces of skin on it. I gazed at my injury, but instead of blood, the wound was completely dark and filled with cracks so deep, gazing at it was like being sucked into infinity.

My mind was dissolving, it was under attack and was affected with rot.

“Trip, we need to get out of here as fast as possible.”

“Yes, that’s what I’ve- … Aoba, your hand?” He seemed collected for someone beaten to a pulp, but his voice had been shaken up when he first saw it.

I wondered why him being here made it easier. His presence seemed to remove the pain, but Trip might have been the reason my mind looked like this- at the very least a part of it.

“Killing you failed, opening the door failed and getting out of scrap will surely follow the same conclusion.”

“You sound much more certain here than in real life, Aoba. Why aren’t you taking the opportunity to finally act upon all of your threats?”

Trip was referring to the things I’d scream as he raped me, abused me or even- in the most loose definition of the word, cared for me.

“You’ve been taking the ramblings of a desperate madman seriously. And it seems like… heh, **so have I**. We do have more than species in common, I see.”

“I ehh… see? So… you don’t hate me either, then.”

I gasped as if something was stuck in my throat. There were things I had forgotten about, and I’m happy Trip reminded me that I still had the ability to feel offended.

But could I truly deny it? Now that a chance had presented itself I didn’t take it.

“… I certainly don’t like you, and I want nothing to do with you. Now, let’s get the fuck out of here. The most disturbing thought would be your dead remains lingering in my head.”

“Scrap seems to be a big hassle, why did you use it in the first place?” He said as he stood up.

“Stupidity, and hope.” I felt so certain and liberated in my head, like my personality was renewed, but I knew it wasn’t permanent, “I guess those things are interchangeable to me.”

“Not stupidity, but recklessness. You don’t deal well with hope, it seems.” Trip stated, as if secretly rationalizing his own horrid actions.

“Your indoctrination only makes that desperate hope increase, Trip. I don’t need you here telling me **you’re doing some sort of favor by helping me get rid of it!** ”

I kicked over the table that stood in his room, but the intense sound of shattering the mirror it crashed into only made me feel worse. I felt better at once, though, when I saw that the mirror had no wall behind it. It was pitch dark in there.

Trip’s cruelty was for once a minor problem, one that had for the first time done something useful. I had finally found a path that would lead me to somewhere else due to his outrageous claims.

“What should we do, Aoba?” He must have been too surprised to say anything else.

“You go in there first.” I pointed to the shattered mirror.

“…” He hesitated, but slowly walked with a halting leg.

The second he had crossed over did I sense that thing, and as I turned around it was centimeters away. The first thing I took notice of was how its teeth looked like moss, albeit with none of the natural softness.

 _It was too close… too close… I was done fo_ r.

“Aoba?”

Trip’s hand felt warm as he touched my shoulder, and… now the monster that had eaten Sly Blue was gone. I understood it now, his presence drove it away.

I walked into the darkness with him, now feeling so very unnerved. Trip had grasped my hand, and his body seemed to grow stronger as mine grew oh so embarrassingly weaker.

We kept walking, kept going until the light from Trip’s room was long gone. None of us could see, the only sensation I had was his hand in mine. I was about to vomit in sheer terror, knowing that the moment I let go of his hand, Blight would be behind me.

“H-how can you walk so certainly, Trip?”

“What are you talking about, Aoba? The path we’re walking on is all laid out.”

“What?! There is nothing here! I can’t see anything, Trip. There is nothing here!” My voice shook as I realized he could comprehend something my own eyes couldn’t.

“If you can’t see, then maybe that’s good. The only thing around us are these… entrails with colors one would see in withered grass. There are also these repulsive things around us. Just stick to me, the end of the path must go to somewhere better.”

I never asked what those things were, but it still felt like I was stabbed once he told me that. For the sake of survival, I would keep clinging onto him. We kept walking for what felt like hours… still unable to see or hear anything… my safety relied entirely on Trip.

“There’s a door here, can you see it?”

“No.” I said sternly.

“Aoba, let’s go in there.” I hesitated, but Trip pulled me along, I felt how strong he had become, and how weak I was.

_Oh, that’s right… this place. We’re back to how it usually is…_

_“…”_

_“A..b….s.n”_

_“!”_

_“Aob……”_

_“Aob….an!”_

_“…”_

“Aoba san?”

“Agh…” I had a terrible headache.

“You’re awake… thank God.” Virus sighed in relief, “This will be the last time Trip takes you out of the car. Good grief.”

“What… happened?”

“Do you remember that you and Trip were going out for an hour? We thought it would be best to move a bit, use the bathroom and such.” Virus frowned, removed his glasses and touched his face. He looked exhausted. “After you were gone for two hours I started to search for you… I assembled some… employees to find you. At last, you two were found knocked out in the bathroom. Trip woke up when I came in, but wouldn’t tell me what had happened. You however… You’ve been out for almost five hours.”

I rubbed my eyes, and tried to process the information.

“Five hours…” Before Virus could speak again, I continued, “Where is Trip?”

“Smoking.”

“I didn’t know he smoked.”

“I offered him one. Sometimes you just need one.” Virus sounded vacant.

“Can I get one?” I’d kill for a smoke, so I hoped he would allow me.

“No.” He said, clearly not going to offer me one any time soon. “What you’re going to get, is a blanket and a blindfold.”

Before I could even look disappointed, the door opened.

“Aoba is awake…”

“So he is.” Virus sounded angry.

“I’ll be with him. It’s your turn to drive anyway.”

“Seems like it is.” Virus said coldly. He looked back at me, smiling lifelessly, “I’ll put this on you now, Aoba san.”

He tightened the blindfold harder than necessary, and left me in the backseat with Trip.

The car seat was glued to my back as I waited for Trip to punish me, yet he refrained from hurting me. He seemed indifferent, but his hands made their way to my face. He stroked it gently without saying anything, I didn’t say anything either.

As we drove, neither of us spoke of scrap. Maybe there was a silent agreement that it never happened. Trip had cuddled up against me and was sleeping. I wondered if it was the real Trip I had met in scrap, something told me I would never truly know.

 

Even so, my palm was still burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet, being over 40 pages. I never felt quite satisfied with it, so I'd spend so much time improving it. I was a bit shy when it came to introducing conflict, especially in the form of a character. I did decide to create a thing that's going to go after Aoba in the story, simply because if I didn't the story would not progress properly. I decided to call the monster Blight and make it look like a rotten version of him due to the fact that Aoba means blue/green leaf.
> 
> Blight is the rot you find in leaves, so I thought it would be suitable. Seeing that Shiroba seems to be almost seperate from Aoba made me wonder if something similar could manifest inside of him. Sly Blue, Ren and Aoba all seem to be be linked together, like they are different aspects of one personality. I wanted to make a being created from his suffering. Something that wants nothing but pain and agony, like a physical version of his depression.
> 
> I will again apologize for the late update, and thank you all for over 80 kudos!


	10. Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba wants to regain his honor, but his attempt is misguided. This chapter is mostly smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooong since I've written something, huh? I've been very busy this year, so I couldn't write as much. Don't worry, I won't stop writing, but updates may be slow. Sorry about this inconvenience.  
> That said, I certainly won't stop anytime soon. The responses I've received have been overwhelmingly positive and I want to apologize for this insanely long wait. D:

The night sky changed colors due to absence of eyelids, and I fought to remain conscious. It was natural, the brain wasn’t made for what I drove it to do, and I certainly wasn’t ready to see the byproduct my tired head made for the visual stimuli. The rotting thing in my brain wasn’t present, it felt eradicated as I grasped Trip’s hand tightly. It was like his presence protected me from the “me” they had created. I wanted to reconcile with them both at this point, but fear had zipped my lips shut.

The hallucinations formed where only subtly hinting at threats, yet always overwhelming. It was horror cloaked in passive ambience. It was pretty fog, but I knew something horrible was residing inside. I saw it once, and I knew how to keep it away.

“T-trip…” I was too mushy to move.

“Eh… Aoba? What is it?”

“P-please,” I couldn’t believe in myself anymore, not when I heard my own words, “Never leave me. It will all, or that or who or whatever they are… get to me. I don’t want to, please. I don’t want to like that, not by my own… not to be alone.”

“What are you talking about, Aoba san?”

“Aoba seems to be doing that thing again.”

“What thing?” Virus was getting worse and worse, like he would deteriorate at any moment. Strangely enough, though, his annoyance still sounded like vague concern.

No one answered Virus’ question, neither did anyone bother to press the issue further. They probably thought I would end up like this eventually.

I felt something crawling up behind me, at first I thought it was Hersha, but as my legs started to kick I realized the snake had been inactive until my feet provoked its body to move. As the snake stopped moving the hallucinations came back, Reality was slipping from me. It felt like spiders were on my body and tried to dig into my skin with their needle-like legs. I lost my orientation as insects covered my eyes. I couldn’t make out Trip’s face, so my being acted with reluctance as I attempted to get closer to him.

I reached out with a flailing hand, hitting a strand of Virus’ hair when my hand flung the wrong direction and met with the front seat. He was the worst reminder of how small the car was, and my growing claustrophobia made me feel like cockroaches had joined the spiders. Trip must have gotten a lot of sleep, seeing as he caught on and tried to remove me from the snake. The snake would hiss in retaliation, and all the car’s paraphernalia turned inactive.

“Why did you stop the car?”

“It’s your turn.” Virus sounded drowsy, and I heard how he forced himself out of the driver’s seat, my mind half-expected him to collapse on the ground.

“Huh, seems like my time is up, what a shame. You’re probably going to be asleep once I am beside you again...oh well.” Trip stated, and I panicked internally.

I didn’t want to be asleep without him, not after scrap. Virus’ presence would surely serve as similar security, but I wasn’t sure if it would be as effective.

“Well, Aoba san…” He went inside, putting one arm over my shoulder despite the discomfort, “You were screaming just now, maybe sleep should be considered?”

Only a stare was returned.

“I see you’re not wearing the blindfold… Trip?”

“Ah? He wouldn’t stop asking and kept demanding I remove it. I couldn’t sleep at all, therefore I had little choice but to comply.”

“…We’ll discuss this later.” Virus turned his head back to me, stating sleepily, “Have it your way this time, Aoba san, but don’t think I won’t put it back on if you try anything funny at all. Now, please heed my request and sleep beside me.”

I finally reacted, wiggled myself from his grip, and glued myself to the opposite side of the car. Virus shrugged, muttering a simple “Suit yourself,” before closing his eyes.

The snake moved closer to my upper half. Hersha smelled like a newly brought car mixed with a bottle of moonshine. I dully noted that the strong fragrance smelled like Virus’ cologne. I must have been ridiculously hypersensitive but had no intention to mingle with my subconscious- I would rather keep thinking about Virus’ smell. Now my face was close to his, and the snake was close to me as I clumsily wiggled away the remaining distance. The first thing that happened was me resting my nose on his neck, slowly exhaling and inhaling.  

Enticing… he was so seductive now. When his eyes looked tired like that, it was intense. Was he sleeping already? I wanted to get close to Virus as he had fallen unconscious, but the snake around my leg was a hassle

I dragged myself towards him anyway, and my legs turned increasingly numb with each drag. Not even the loud sound of the seats being rubbed back and forth were enough to faze him.

For once, I was the one looming over him. It didn’t feel particularly great, however, I felt in control. There were ways to stay awake I could use. I lacked the restraint to keep my hands from removing his tie. He still wore a black blazer, it seemed like he enjoyed the color. I touched his shoulders, not enjoying how broad they felt. He didn’t look muscular, but he had established that it took less than two seconds to restrain me rather violently if necessary. He was very strong under his passive demeanor.

I kept that in mind as Virus’ blazer was slowly being curled around his arms. Not feeling especially keen on trying to remove each respective arm from the dark garment, I instead went for his bright shirt. The buttons were removed one by one, and as the last one was removed I felt Hersha give a curious flick with its tongue.

_What the hell was I doing?_ I thought to myself as I touched his exposed stomach, feeling him up. His body was so very attractive; _shame it was wasted on such a horrible person._ I felt around his muscles that were usually hidden from sight. He had a lean body that could overpower me in seconds, and that somehow made my stomach flutter. I didn’t stop there, I went for his belt. He couldn’t slap my hand away this time. My hand met with his dick, and something came to mind: _This was rape. He was not conscious; therefore he could not consent._ I had to restrain laughter. Of course, he would probably not object seeing as the allmate had not stopped me from doing this to him, but I wanted that sweet idea to stay present as I grabbed hold of him.

“Ghm…” His voice was barely audible over the sound of my hand rubbing against his undergarment.

I had forgotten that we were driving until the car hit a bump, causing my body to lose balance until I almost fell on him. I barely managed to keep my posture, relived over the fact that he didn’t wake up. Just as I embraced the ease, Trip spoke up.

“Aoba, what are you doing back there?”

Shit, I forgot about him. Still, maybe he would enjoy this. I should ask him. I suspended my fear and took a massive chance.

“Trip, y-you should join in.”

“On what?”

“We’re… pl-laying a game together. I want you to be a part of it too.”

I looked through the windows that were only letting in faint light, trying not to panic.

“Oh? I’d love to, but I’m driving.”

“Stop the car.” I held a certain dominance in my tone, enough for the car to slow down.

I was fearful that my voice had upset him, but then he surprised me.

“We can’t do this for too long. The government is after us after all, even with all the defenses we have around us it still isn’t enough to get careless.”

“J-just five minutes.”

The car was parked in the outskirts of a forest. The road followed an excluded route, I was very certain of that due to not having seen a single car pass us by in weeks. It actually seemed a bit dangerous to drive around here, the road was worn down to the point of carnage. The radio didn’t work, making me realize we were high up. Strangely enough, there had been cars behind us. Neither Virus nor Trip had showed concern or commented on it, leading me to believe they were accomplices.

My suspicion was confirmed when the dark cars behind us also slowed down. I felt a small shiver go down my neck. As I tried to reflect further the door behind me opened.

“Aoba~ you sure are needy today, and Virus is okay with this?”

I decided to play it straight, knowing Trip, he would probably enjoy my dubious actions.

“Shh, Virus is sleeping.” I attempted to keep up a seductive act.

“He is? How are you going to play with him then?” While he didn’t raise his eyebrows, it still felt like Trip was about to.

“Trip, can’t you see what I’m doing with my hands?”

He didn’t waste time getting inside, now sitting behind me to inspect closely. The cold air was cut off as the car-door closed.

“I see, you’re able to turn him on even when he’s asleep.”

“Can you remove Hersha?”

Trip narrowed his eyes a bit, I shook, just now realizing what was asked of him.

“I-I need…” I closed my eyes and omitted the fear. “I need to remove my pants and separate my legs properly.”

“…”

Trip didn’t say anything, but I saw him fish the keys up before locking everything in the car. He leaned in on me with a cynical stare, “Aoba, maybe you’ve wondered where Welter is? He’s in the trunk, and right now the trunk is the only part of the car that’s unlocked.”

I nodded at him, signaling my understanding. Trip started to unbutton my borrowed pants. This car though… how could it hold that much weight? It must be special, the windows too, seemed unusually dark. They must be tinted. What next? Is it soundproof? Bulletproof?

“Trip, you two have really thought about everything… I’m almost flattered.” _I’m almost bleeding._

“We have, you mean very much to us… so tell me,” Finally he softened up, opening his arms and hugging me from behind. “Tell me what you want to do, A-oba.”

“I want you to fuck me while I suck Virus’ dick.” My lack of shame surprised me.

He probably smiled, but I wasn’t entirely sure. Somehow, Trip had managed to rip my pants off. The request for being freed from the snake was still there, pulsating in the very air. Would he allow me to move freely in such fragile confinement? It seemed like he would, I felt the snake loosen around my restricted waist and ankles. This confused me.

“I turned it off, something Virus has given me permission to do after what happened. Not that you would ever be able to do so yourself, so don’t even think about it, you’ll get bitten. He really seems torn up about the ordeal. ”

_The idea that Virus felt a modicum of anguish because of me almost made me cum._ **No.** This kind of thinking has gone too far! **_Why though?_** _It’s not like he deserves any respect after all he has done._ **But!** If I ever escape, who is to say I wouldn’t enjoy causing pain to any innocent people? **_Be rational_** _you idiot! You. Will. Never. Meet any human beings for the rest of your life._

Didn’t I mean any _more_ human beings?

Why did I even bother trying to understand myself?

“Trip, Virus sometimes makes me do the preparing myself, do you want to see?” I turned my head around and looked at him.

“Gladly.” Trip didn’t even try to restrain his wide smile.

At last, I could spread my legs and loosen myself effectively. I kept my right-hand active too, making sure Virus would keep his arousal. I took a good look at him, it was a funny sight. His body was on full display, something that had never happened before- at the very least, not in this way.

Licking two fingers, I then reached them towards Trip. He put them in his mouth with no hesitation. Honestly, that lack of shame was fascinating. His tongue wrapped around my fingers and licked them in between, torturing me with his mischievous grin as his teeth gently dragged around my skin. By association of that action, I quickly retracted my hand. They were wet enough anyway.

My fingers were brought to my lower orifice, and I quickly forced the stubborn tightness to open. _Really, five years of hardcore sex and it always tightens back up._ I wanted Trip to stay docile, so I exposed myself completely by bending one leg over the car seat. I spread my fingers like they were imitating a scissor and exaggerated my moaning.

Virus made a slight movement, and something came to mind.

“Trip, I’ll use his body to prepare myself further. Is that all right?”

“…Fine, but do it quickly.”

I wiggled myself on top of him, looking at his sleeping face. There was still doubt within me, but I tried only to focus on how free I felt and hoped it would keep me awake longer.

“Gh-“ I slid down on the unconscious man, letting a very faint giggle leave my mouth.

My movements were careful and quiet, being as discreet as possible as I bounced on his dick. I enjoyed this, but only because it was a violation of his body.

“…” Virus shifted slightly, still not awake.

I leaned in on the sleeping man, contemplating if my lips should touch his. I held one hand onto his abdominal muscles, not caring that my hand was cold. His body let out a small spasm, and he made a pathetic yelp between our lips. I silently wished he would choke.

“Aoba, we don’t have all night.”

I separated from him and turned to face Trip. Now I could see that he was aroused and stressed. With Virus still inside, I clumsily turned around and reached for Trip’s belt.

“You really are doing this, huh?”

Frowning slightly, I wrapped my fingers around his cock and started pumping him slowly. I held onto the car-seat on the left of my shoulder while feeling annoyed over the small space. There was an urge to ask if we could go outside, but didn’t for obvious reasons.

“I won’t be lenient if this is some sort of stunt you’re trying to pull, Aoba.”

“N-no, I promise.” I lowered my head and looked up at him.

He didn’t look amused.

“T-Trip?”

I felt him grabbing my cock and stroked it with a slick motion.

“I thought you said I were the one that got to penetrate you…”

I see, so that’s his deal. He wanted my ass, and right now it was occupied… or was it?

If there was one thing that they both disliked, it was me implying they were close. Their relationship seemed strange, if I insinuated they liked each other sexually they reacted like I tried getting family to hook up. If I then acted like they had a family bond they would deny they had ever held such attachment toward each other. If pressed on the matter, Virus and Trip would state they had always been together, but only in solidarity. As Trip had once told me, it was because they didn’t hate each other.

What a rich life to have, no family, no friends, and their lover wanted them dead. Well… right now their lover wanted them uncomfortable.

“You can enter as well.”

“Really, are you sure you’re wide enough for that?”

“I thought you enjoyed it tight?”

I turned around again, not stopping until I was faced towards Virus. With an amused face, Trip pushed me down until I was practically lying on him. If this didn’t wake him up, nothing would.

I felt my hole being spread out wide as he hurriedly inserted himself. It hurt at first, but having both their dicks inside me was also the most intense feeling in the world, and it never failed to make me cum hard. Trip grabbed my phallus again, rubbing it persistently. I wondered why they never minded having their dicks rubbing against each other in this arrangement, maybe their indifference towards each other reached this level of extreme. My only hope was that Virus would dislike it due to how unexpected it was. I wanted to take a small amount of pride from him, that’s the least he should have to endure, and I wished for Trip to feel used and deceived if he was able to put two and two together after this.

All the cracking, rotting and scarring I’ve had to experience because of them made me justified in doing this.

 “H-gmm…?” Virus finally started to lift his lashes at the tenth thrust.

Overcome with the urge to startle him, I took both arms and pushed his shoulders down as hard as I could. My weight mixed with his fatigue would make it hard for him to get up.

“Huh?” His voice was somewhat monotone, yet clearly disoriented.

“Hello, Virus.” I hissed as his eyes finally opened.

“A-Aoba san? What are you do-tch…” His words were cut off as Trip thrust inside of me hard.

“Ahh? You’re awake. Good morning, I guess?” Trip couldn’t care less.

“Ughm, how long have we been driving. Are we over the mountain yet?”

I got angry, really angry. Virus was being disrespected within this act, and the first thing on his mind was the goddamn road?!

“Virus, we have barely driven a mile since you fell asleep.” I purred, locking my mouth with Virus’ as I felt his heartbeat speed up. It felt like my whole personality had changed.

This was actually effective, he was becoming uncomfortable the more he woke. I wrapped our tongues together, taking in the sweet taste of… charcoal? Well, my own mouth must have tasted similarly since he pried his face away and grunted out: “Trip, get off Aoba san! We need to continue driving right now. If you won’t do it I wi-” Virus was shut up when I rudely reconnected our lips, this time his breath wavered inside me, causing me to shudder blissfully. I shoved our hips together as Trip forced his dick inside harder. I wanted to drown Virus in my forceful heat, and he smelled sweet when his skin became increasingly slippery from distress. 

His blazer was wrapped around both his elbows, and that combined with the weight Trip was pushing on me made it impossible for Virus to get away. I heard rustling noises, and sensed how he tried wiggling out of the cloth. Now my hands pressed even harder, and my hips were rolling vigorously as I accommodated two men at once.

I separated our lips, and after a couple of heavy grunts and strangled moans Virus once again spoke: “Hersha.”

Ignoring him, I tried running one free hand through his hair. The small amount of light and the chilling air made this strangely erotic. My focus was to move properly, which was hard to do with Trip on top of me- palming my dick and nibbling my hair greedily.

Still, I kept going. Now stroking his face and licking the inside of his ear. I heard him attempt to get away again.

“Hersha?”

I slapped him.

My adrenaline had gotten the better of me, and I realized what I had done. I thought Trip would stop so he could punish me, but…

“Ugh… Aoba, I won’t stop… but remember that I won’t defend you from him later.” He thrust harder, and the savage movement caused me to cry out, almost drowning out Virus’ shuddering.

He won’t stop me…

I took hold of Virus’ hair and pulled it with all my might. In turn, Virus let out a restrained growl. He was mad.

“Ghr… Aoba san, I don’t… blame you for this. You…h, probably think this is ironic, but I can assure you, this has nothing…mh… to do with dignity.” Virus remained composed with only his sharp eyes showing the blizzard that was his emotions. His intuition was chilling. “Now that you’ve… demonstrated your neediness, I’ll do everything in my power… to service you once we arrive at-h… the arranged location. You want me so badly? Fine, I’ll have you ride me from nine AM to twelve PM with no breaks or water. Maybe… if you do good I’ll let you drink something from my mouth- that is presuming I’ll be able to separate long enough to put something in there… since we’ll be making out the entire time. And your-h… hair? I know how much you love having your hair pulled. Is that the message you’re trying to send? I’m sure you’re tugging my hair because you subliminally want me to do the same to you. Go ahead, show me what you want, my… darling Aoba san; _Tug my hair again._ ”

Virus had singlehandedly made my whole body go limp. My hand pulled away as if his hair was fire. I shouldn’t have allowed him to speak, his words were what made him dangerous. I saw how his lips formed a slight smile, and the shame cursed through me when he arched his body upwards to bury his member deeper inside. While all this went down, Trip had kept slamming into me like there was no tomorrow. The sudden switch of power made me feel trapped.

Virus was going to win like he always did, that was apparent as he once again started maneuvering himself out of his clothing.

“Haa… Aoba san, if you do as I say now and get off me we won’t have to make love for so many hours, at the very least… not as roughly, okay? I will understand that you were only-”

I tugged the fucker’s hair.

I tugged like I wanted to tear it off.

Even Trip stopped for a second, seeming almost impressed by my idiocy.

“A-gh!” Virus wasn’t able to restrain his groan, but once he regained himself I understood how screwed I was.

His expression was so calm, yet so aroused and angry. The expression basically said; _I’m going to fuck the shit out of you._ He would never say that, but it was obvious… my fate had been decided. Once I arrived to God-knows-where he was going to have sex with me until one of us passed out- and it wasn’t going to be gentle.

I couldn’t waste this moment. I had stood up for myself, albeit in a clumsy manner, but now there was an opportunity to get back at him.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“Fuck… you.” I backhanded Virus’ disbelieving face.

“Gh… Aoba san, you want me to do that too? Fufu…”

Just to spite him, I spat on his face. I then leaned down and bit his neck viciously, almost drawing blood.

"Wow, Aoba’s…really getting feisty.” I felt Trip mutter, it sounded like a warning.

“Trip, Get. Him. Off.” Virus now sounded like a completely different person the second he spoke to Trip.

I had no idea his voice could go that low, as a consequence my mouth let go. Suddenly fearing his wrath. The concept itself was scary.

“Not…ah… yet, let gh… me finish first. I’m… almost done.”

“Gh… You turned my allmate off, didn’t you? And who… made you do that? Fufu, you really are an-h! idiot.”

My skin was prickling from all the different impulses. Virus had started moving steadily by himself, and my knees lost all remaining strength as two dicks were pleasuring and ravishing my asshole at the same time. Both were expertly aiming at different erogenous zones inside of me, with Trip rubbing at the front and Virus at the back. The feeling became so extreme that my head fell beside the lower man’s neck, thus only being able to stare at the black fabric under his shoulder.

I dug my nails turbulently into his warm skin, feeling it hit the inside of my nails. Virus’ breathing met with my ear as I took in the entrancing smell of his sweat and cologne. My senses were heightened due to my lack of sleep, except for my eyes which started to waver.

Was this right, though? This felt different from when I first started. I was feeling physical pleasure, not pleasure from the deception. How frustrating, yet it wasn’t enough to overlap my intense gratification, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

“Aoba san, you’re certainly a… deceptive little angel.”

I opened my eyes up enough to focus on my surroundings.

“Trip, ah…I hope you realize how much of a sucker you are for our little lover.”  Virus mocked him as he crashed his hips into mine painfully hard “He… managed to… stop the car, deactivate my allmate and have Toue’s dogs get closer.”

It was difficult to react due to the insane sensations my body received, but deep down I realized how bad this was. Virus lifted his head through the dim lighting and kissed my cheek, he furthermore demonstrated how strong his abdominal muscles were as he slammed searchingly inside me, looking for one of the many spots that made me melt.

“Ah… I know, I know. I may be “stupid”, but… this-ah, was pretty obvious all along. Don’t worry, _they’re_ here to… signal any approaching cars. Wouldn’t be hard to put them down, if it..gh came down to it.” Trip stated dryly.

At this point Virus didn’t do more than moan, being focused on making us climax. I raised my head enough to look at him and understood how little the sensations mattered to him. He only wanted to get on the road again, nothing was more transparent than that analytical expression.

Trip seemed stressed as well, having sped up his movements so this could be wrapped up fast. I felt the smell of sweat and precum everywhere, accepting that this would end soon.

My mouth opened, contemplating if I should kiss Virus again, but before I could do that Trip had raised up my upper body and started to make out with me instead. Part of me thought it was because he wanted to stop me from abusing Virus, maybe even for my own good.

I thought Virus was going to finally escape this predicament since most of the weight holding him down was removed, but he had been paralyzed by the climax. I too was like that as my cum shot out shortly after. Trip seemed to have finished first, not realizing it until my body sensed copious amounts of cum dripping out when he removed himself.

My pride was heavily damaged over that fact without Trip’s weight on me, Virus could easily shove me away with his upper body alone. Within seconds of Trip separating, Virus only had to shrug off his blazer before he was free.

I saw him grimace then realized he had been lying on his arms. Somewhere between me holding him down and letting go for a short time, he had put his arms under his back to loosen up the suit- then I had laid down on him. That must have been painful.

Trip helped me sit in the middle, he looked like unfazed by everything that had just happened.

Now sitting properly, my eyes went over Virus’ appearance. He looked pathetic. His dick was still not tucked inside his pants and his exposed stomach was covered in cum. No one but me seemed to care, though.

“Trip, you said they were watching, right?” Virus moved his arms back and forth, trying to regain his blood flow.

“Yes.”

“We communicate through coils, and while we used to be able to send messages offline…  because of an update, without a good connection they can’t…”

As Virus had gotten his left arm out, it was like someone had hit them in the head. They shared a quick glance.

A coil registered a missed message.

For three seconds, everything was quiet. Trip, who was fully dressed, suddenly moved at record speed and headed for the door as a still exposed Virus restrained me harshly by the arm, not caring for how ridiculous he looked.

The message arrived too late. I didn’t plan this out, this was surreal. How close were they? Could they save me? Should I hope they didn’t succeed?

I had no time to think.

Suddenly the glass shattered and we were face to face with one of Toue’s soliders. There was no helping it…

I had to smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will really go downhill in the next chapter, and I've already started working on it. I do hope this chapter was worth it. I've decided that Aoba will have some moral identity crisis in this story. I imagine being mistreated for so long will make you become immoral yourself. He won't become evil by any means, but he will have his moments sooner or later. Virus and Trip will get similar treatment, but it will be much more subtle. I will never try to "redeem" them, that's an impossible task. I personally find it wrong to excuse the things they've done. I do want to flesh them out and make them more "likeable" as fictional characters, but I'll have to be careful to not to make them OOC.  
> I'm sorry for updating so little, but I'll do my best and try to update more often. ^^  
> Thanks to everyone that's been reading this far.


	11. Scrapped 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba got visited by some guards, then took the stress to his advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this was hard, but I hope it turned out fine. This chapter is pretty much a build-up to the next one. I worked hard on it, and hope it's somewhat enjoyable to read through.

The hand of Toue’s guard dragged me away, gun shoved up my face. Virus and Trip _let_ them take me. They just handed me over. With the use of aliases and manipulation, they made the soliders believe this was a part of Toue’s plan. As Virus had been in the middle of tucking his dick back into his pants, I took the visual proof to bellowed out about the abuse, in turn, the guards laughed.

Toue’s men didn’t bat an eye, well, their helmets did conceal their faces, but nothing in their voices signified judgement. They acted like it was normal. The only trouble Virus and Trip got into was that they shouldn’t have refrained from informing them. They handed my torturers money for their contribution to “society,” and that was the end of that. (End, end end end. It hasn’t ended yet.)

Now I was being taken through the other side of the road, unsure of where we were headed. While walking in darkness, the men had been whispering about taking an alternative route due to the police, something about a political conflict, outrage across the country, shitty morals and soft leaders. Virus and Trip were no longer in my sight, they hadn’t been for ten minutes.

They really were disgusting.

I had always known they didn’t love me, but part of me had become infatuated with them anyway. It was blasphemy to even admit it in my head, and would never say it out loud… but I wanted to be with them. I was disillusioned, my heart knew they didn’t carry affection for me, only the wish to reduce a “super human” into a torture victim. To think I was feeling heartache over them, wishing to return to my monochrome hell, just so I could be cherished and loved again. Their forceful “love” had become a source for longing. what a fucking joke. I hated them. I hated them so much that I had come to love them.

The soliders were dressed in steel-like uniforms, pretty impractical for sneaking away a slave in the middle of the night. The tall one seemed softer than the shorter one, slightly more merciful. The only reason I thought that was because of his less mocking attitude when they took me from Virus and Trip. _Maybe he was a good person?_ That’s what I thought until his gun was right beside my temple.

“You don’t need to point it a-”

“Shut your mouth.” The shorter one hit my leg from behind.

I let out a weeping noise, barely standing through the cold pain. Well, well, shorty seemed unimpressed at this display.

“ _This_ is the object of our rescue? Hardly worth it.”

“Well, try saying that to the higher up’s and we’ll be the ones with guns on our heads.” The tall one said, his voice sounded more ragged, older too.

I wanted to be prepared for the worst, but I had dismissed Virus’ warning. Maybe it was because he and Trip had been the victims, within my subconscious, I had concluded they deserved it. _Imagining them screaming as kids was quite satisfying._

“Y-you’re supposed to be saving me? Those men that handed me over wer-”

“Alright there, boy. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this isn’t your classic rescue mission. I don’t give a shit about whatever degeneracy was going on in that car.” The younger one asserted, “They handed you over on a silver plate, that’s what matters. Don’t worry, they’ll be taken care of soon. However, you’re just a rogue test subject, don’t expect to be taken to a crisis shelter. You’ll be transported to Japan and undergo heavy… research.”

I halted, hopelessly lost.

“Seems like he’s had to undergo worse.” The old man took on a distant voice that pitied me with the emotional debt of a dried up well.

I was dragged along, clothes ragged and cold. I was shivering intensely, starting to fear for my life. Not because of Toue, but because of the cold climate freezing through my paper-thin, white shirt.

“You’d be surprised with what kind of experiments Toue’s authorized. Can’t help but wonder if we should shoot this boy, maybe he’d prefer that.”

The men seemed tired, I tried using that to sneak off. Once the gun was pointed elsewhere due to some rustling, my legs started going the other way. Their eyes were ardent on something else. I got reckless, and started moving faster.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?!” The tall one shouted.

“Ugh-” I was punched in the stomach, collapsing due to fatigue more than the punch itself.

The soliders loomed over my frame, helmets concealing any form of humanity they potentially would have possessed.

“Should we knock him out?” The younger one smiled as he spoke.

“Let’s do our best to avoid that.”

While the short one seemed like a bastard, the older one seemed to possess some kind of hesitation. Nowhere near that of an actual human being, but closer than anyone else I’ve conversed with for the last five years.

“W-why are you working for Toue?” I inquired.

“Money.” The short one blankly stated.

“If I declined this job he would’ve fired me and I would starve.” It sounded less dramatic than it should have when the old guy spoke.

I was about to say he could get a job elsewhere, but remembered Toue would probably ruin any other business opportunity for the guy. He probably had a bad past that could be exploited. If it wasn’t for my predicament, I’d probably feel sorry for him. But as it was now, he was but a puppet, freezing cold through Toue’s commands.

“Y-you act like I’m about to die.” I finally said.

“Your throat will be dissected. Your whole body will be used for science, and when you’re no longer useful Toue will do mortal experiments on you.” The short one talked down to me.

“Your body seems to be relatively fine, it won’t be in a couple of weeks.” The tall, old man said.

“A-and none of you care at all?”

“I’ve shot up villages, kidnapped children and witnessed countless of inhumane experiments done to people around me. Of all the acts I’ve had to commit, this isn’t hard.”

It’s like I thought, they wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt, why should they sacrifice their wellbeing for me?

Still, my own feet made a sudden run for it.

The side of a gun was slammed in the back of my head. As I fell down, a hand grabbed a sizable chunk of my hair and dragged me through the dirt, pressuring me to stand up.

“Agh! Let go, please!”

They grabbed my body, and punched me several times in the stomach, ribs and legs. I was in so much pain, both mentally and physically.

“Just knock him out, will you?”

The old one stepped towards me, seeming impassioned with his fist.

“STOP.” I had almost forgotten my power, and finally put it to beneficial use.

One of the men collapsed to their knees, the other one held onto their head, letting go of my arm.

My body had healed relatively well from the physical abuse, but my foot didn’t seem to hold the strength to get me up, making escape hard.

“Gah?! Why, you…”

I was kicked in the stomach.

“Sto- “

Another kick marked my blue body, forcing the warmth out of my lungs. My vision was gradually failing. There was cold, half-frozen mud all over my back, ironically making it feel like my body was on fire. _The stars though, I could see them again…_

“We have technology that counteract your little shouting.”

“Still hurts like hell, though…”

So they say, but they weren’t as immune as Virus and Trip, maybe ripping out children’s eyes got too costly, or maybe…

Of course, Sei’s powers had already been thoroughly researched. Maybe the helmets themselves were the counteracting force, it would explain why they hadn’t taken them off. Not that I could confirm it in this state, couldn’t even confirm if my heart was beating correctly.

I heard a small growl. With no ability to control myself, my voice sparked with new life, screaming out uncontrollably.

“If you don’t stop screaming, I’ll shoot you.”

“Go ahead! Shoot me.”

He didn’t do it, which was bad. I meant it, please kill me. They weren’t abandoning me, they weren’t deserting me here. They had come to recollect me, and they would kill the soliders and make me wish I had shared that fate.

“Wait, did you hear that?”

So it was true, it wasn’t just my (Hopeful thinking,) paranoia. It wasn’t just my pessimistic (liar,) view.

“Hear what?”

I went quiet,

“Rustling…”

“Is that… roaring?”

“N-no.”

Trip’s allmate had come for us, no, me.

“Stay put.”

They were being silent too, clinging onto their pitiful guns, hoping their defense would suffice. The older one had taken a hold around my mouth, silencing my now nonexistent cries. The forest was casting shadows on the road we were on, making it harder to see when Welter pounce on shortie.

“ArghAA-”

“What?!” The man, still intact shouted as his partner was being ripped to shreds by the mechanical beast.

Due to the elder’s shock, his arm lost its grip. I felt regret go through my body as my teeth met his skin. They had been horrible to me, but Welter was still something those men shouldn’t have to face. 

“Ugh…” He seemed dizzy, and with the last burst of strength, I had kicked him within his shock.

His body stopped for only a second, enough for me to pull away.

“I’m… sorry.”

He didn’t understand why I muttered that, not until he realized the small impact had made him shield me. It probably didn’t help that I wore a wide grin.

“?!”

The lion crashed straight into him as I flung myself into the vast overgrowth.

I didn’t look back, not at all. The second he had lost his clarity my freedom was realized. The forest was deep and cold, deep enough for me to fall down a small cliffside the second I ran in. The moss drenched my clothes like a wretched sponge, hair pulled by the same branches slamming into my face.

I was lying on the ground, bruised and starved. Another growl was heard. No time to lose, I got up and broke away from the branches. hearing the lion’s roar was making me run faster.

The screams from the men echoed, the cold only furthered the chills. I ran through frost and bushes, trying to maintain body heat. I kept running through the forest, trying not to dispel the warmth. It didn’t matter how long I ran, it had felt like forever and the sun still didn’t show itself, neither did I know where my feet were going. My eyes gave out along with my legs, with the loss of sight, I stumbled on a cold branch sticking up. I was only regaining vision when I was on the cold ground.

Was this it? Hypothermia. My legs had given in and the rest of me was freezing, the fact that I was wearing a white shirt made it easier for me to be seen in the darkness. It wouldn’t warm me at all. I discarded it.

If I were to die, I wanted to die alone.

No such luck, even though I had only been lying down for some minutes, the roaring was back with what sounded like accompanying footsteps.

I got up, disguised in my naked form. My eyes could barely see, my feet were halting, but I used my last remaining strength to sprint towards the shadows. I finally saw a flickering light from what seemed like a crossroad, I jumped out without thinking and…

“Ah!”

I crashed into a figure, feeling the feet of a person kicking me into the ground. I was trapped with another helmet-wearing figure, in the middle of a worn-down crossroad. It was barely noticeable that I was out of the forest, the overgrowth had intruded the road so much that it looked like it belonged to the forest.

“Wait! Are you… naked?” The figure observed, approaching through the flickering light.

I peered at the person, waiting for another burst of light to flicker at him. Once it did, I could see a badge on the heavy uniform. The other men had not been wearing those blue shades either.

Was I really this lucky?

The policeman before me was covered in headgear, so his face wasn’t there to greet me. I didn’t know what he wished to do, but my freezing body couldn’t run away at this point. My intuition told me this person was different, though.

“Young man, hands in the air please.” He commanded

I had little choice, lifting my arms as far as possible while struggling to get up on my legs. My feet were blue, and I could barely feel my toes. There was a chance they had stopped working, but I couldn’t focus on that when a gun was pointed at me.

“State your name.”  
“A-Aoba… Seragaki.”

The man went quiet, putting down the gun.

“Seragaki? If that’s the case then…” He sounded conflicted.

I found the reaction strange, and it suddenly appeared like his voice changed to sound kinder. Was I of importance to the police?

“I-if that’s the case, then what?” I inquired.

“Never mind, are you hurt? Don’t worry, you’re safe now. I’ll drive you to the nearest police station and we’ll explain.” He brushed off my words, the man sounded too kind, to the point of being patronizing.

I heard more rustling coming from the grass, stressing me further.

“Are they captured?” I asked.

“Unfortunately, Toue’s soliders deceived us. We didn’t know their true intentions before now. Listen to me, you need to get in the car and borrow some clothes.”

He didn’t understand what I meant, I wasn’t referring to the cat food, he didn’t know who they were…

This was bad.

“How many officers are around?” I inquired, scared out of my wits.

“You don’t need to worry about that now, you’ll die if you stay in this temperature.” He talked down to me again.

“N-no.”

“What’s the matter? We need to hurry bef-”

_BANG._

Everything around me slowed down. The man wore a helmet, but the rest of his body wasn’t cloaked in anything that could protect him from the bullet penetrating through his chest.

“A-a…” I was too shocked to react to the one who had pulled the trigger, looking at the innocent man instead.

I was glad his face was obscured.

“T-the car i-is clo-” The man tried telling me something, but his voice was too painful for me to listen to.

He was shot again, this time through the neck. The bubbling gurgles made me sick.

The lights above me flickered again, making it easier to look to the side, where I could see the monster who had killed this man.

Virus didn’t stop filling the corpse with bullets. I gasped, feeling the hotness of tears breaching my eyelids. If I had only gotten there a little faster, everything would have been okay. How could my misfortune be so great?

After what seemed like six shots, his eyes went from the corpse, and up to me. Then the lights went out.

I wasn’t about to let the stranger down, taking a beeline towards the forest, but instead of getting to freedom I met with the lion.

“NO!” I shouted, now feeling how worn-out my body was.

I sprinted the other way without thinking, crashing straight into arms that clutched around me, like I was a mouse in a beartrap. Virus’ grip was ungodly, there was no way to get away. His heart was beating rapidly, maybe faster than mine.

“Well, Aoba san. Are you satisfied with your actions?”

I screamed, shouted and tried to kick away from him. Scrap was used, physical attempts were made, and it was all to no avail.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“YES. I. AM.” I forced out another attempt to scrap him.

He laughed humorlessly, probably trying to calm himself.

“Try it again. Knock yourself out so I won’t have to deal with another temper tantrum.”

Virus must have regretted those words when I managed to kick his leg despite my faltering state.

“…Gh.” Virus groaned.

I kicked him again, managing to pry myself from his arms. My relief turned into regret the second I turned back to be confronted with Welter. The unforgivable memories that came flooding back paralyzed everything. The lion pounced, thinking it was finally allowed to put an end to its hunt.

“No, someone! SOMEBODY.”

I evaded the attack, but was immediately assaulted by Virus again. He forced me down on the ground so I was lying on my stomach, and tried wrestling my arms together, but I wouldn’t give in that easily. I was frozen to the point of not daring to fight against him with my limbs, but my teeth were still warm. Without fail, I turned around and bit his shoulder with no romantic inclination. Virus, in turn, pulled my hair with no romantic inclination. I screamed with my jaw still locked onto his shoulder, and with my unrestrained hand punched him.

He withdrew slightly, probably by reflex, and I kicked him in the ribs.

“HELP! I’VE BEEN TORTURED FOR FIVE YEARS! SOMEONE, PLE-”

Virus flung himself on top of me, forcing a hand over my screaming mouth. The weight forced me down to the ground, it was so cold.

Why aren’t there more police around?

“Shut up, you’ve done enough already.” He hissed. “You made us kill twelve men for you, Aoba san… Is that a good feeling to have? Twelve people died because you wanted to escape.”

“No…” I said through his hand, unsure if he could hear.

“If you think this will be overlooked, you might have gotten brain damage from being thrown out of the car by those guards.”

I bit his palm, making his sleep-deprived body retract the hand.

“I’VE BEEN RAPED OVER AND O-”

The lion assisted Virus in holding me down and roared right over me, and suddenly my body was flipped over so I was lying on my back.

Virus, holding eye contact, pointed the gun at my face to show it off, then moved it down to my knee. One would think Virus would look threatening as he did this, but when the metal was pressed against me… I felt how it was quivering.

“Aoba san…” He began, seeing his sweating face and intense eyes. He was frowning at me, whispering hoarsely, “I love you so much, and I don’t mind you hating me as long as you’re ours. I’ll do everything to keep you with me, even if it means…”

I heard a click from the gun, and his thumb was twitching restlessly over the trigger.

“N-no…”

“It’s said the knee is one of the most painful places to be shot, your kneecap will shatter, your thighbone will cause excruciating pain whenever it weighs down on your tibia. Any movement or stress put on the patella will paralyze you due to how every nerve in your knee will register the immense damage. This is excluding the shock, and all cartilage and artery around the bones.”

“Virus…” I pleaded, teary eyed.

I didn’t understand half the words he said, but understood the consequences very well.

“If I go through with this, you may never be able to walk again. Part of your knee will be shattered, you may be in chronic pain. If an artery is breached, you may bleed to death. Oh, Aoba san… how I wish I brought the chloroform instead.”

The lion wasn’t looming over my head anymore, Virus didn’t need Welter’s wrath to keep me still. The gun was pointed in the middle of my knee, and it hurt even to have it pressed down. I stared at Virus in shock, too susceptible to speak

“I’ll make a compromise with you. Don’t attempt to escape while we move back to our home, and I can guarantee you won’t be harmed. However, try to escape one more time, with one scream or a simple kick, and you will be _kneecapped._ ”

We were both breathing heavily, he seemed even more shaken up than me. This was different from having my arm twisted, this was a permanent injury that could never heal.

His face was weird. It looked like he was mourning silently, this might be the closest to crying Virus had gotten throughout all these years. He looked devastated and humiliated, and this wasn’t how he usually threatened me. Normally it would be calculated and always within his control, but here it was like he begged me to stop. Even though his face was unmoving, Virus had never been this emotional before. That should be a good thing, but I was only scared. For the first time, he was knowingly going to inflict violence upon me.

Virus wasn’t in control at all, he had never resorted to this before- not the begging, certainly not the violence.

“I won’t resist… please, don’t do it.”

“…Good God,” Virus sighed, wiping some sweat off his forehead. “Aoba san, if you do anything out of line, you know what will happen.”

When I tried getting up, everything turned white. There was no choice but to lie still. I wanted to, but the running and stress had finally taken its toll. The fighting and screaming had only worsened it. It was too late.

 “Come.” Virus said.

I didn’t reply, still hazy from everything that had happened, strangely enough, I felt kind of warm.

“Okay, then. Take my hand, Aoba san.”

I was barely able to hear him, too busy realizing that hypothermia didn’t simply disappear when a gun was pointed at you.

“Aoba san? Remember what I said.” His infliction was insistent, but I felt too calm to care.

Strange, it was kind of a good feeling now. Like, a numb, warm peacefulness.

“Aoba san!” He shouted with uncharacteristic force.

I didn’t see Virus, but rather, the blight in my head was over me. It didn’t look as scary now, even though it had taken up my line of sight. its eyes were looking more human than before, it still wanted to devour me, but maybe I would merge with it and become something new… Maybe it had just been a reflection of me all along

“Aoba!” For the first time ever, Virus dropped the honorific. That’s what I thought, but he had probably included it in the middle of…

Slap.

Slap.

Slap.

 _Go on, respond to him_ , I heard something in my head insist, and I knew what it meant. There’s no way I could do that. But the thing above me unhinged its rotting jaw, creating a fetid stench with the visual image of mossy teeth and multiple strands of nerves surrounding them. It engulfed my head, finally managing to make me scared for my life. It was dark, and I couldn’t see…

…Then suddenly

“VIRUS!”

I felt his weight collapse on my decomposing body, but I was only able to stare myself in the eyes when it happened.

Then we woke up.

 

* * *

 

 

The room was dark, and it seemed like we were back “home”. Virus looked around, almost shocked. I got up after him, feeling stiff and oddly calm. He went back to his stoic demeanor once he looked at me.

“Aoba san, what did you do?”

“I-IT WASN’T ME!”

Strange, I just screamed harder than I do when getting raped. Yet I felt no anger, no fear, no sadness. Maybe slightly curious over my bodily dissonance.

“What?”

“It was your creation who did this, you goddamn hypocrite.” Something strange was happening to me, it was the same as when I did it to Trip.

I wanted to kill Virus, the urge was unbearable. The only thing I got from last time was that my dependence gave them power, even here. I also remembered the oncoming danger of _that thing._

I could only theorize what it was, if it was created by Virus and Trip, or if it had always been in my head. Maybe it was the remains of Sly Blue, it would make sense. So much time of having no presence in my consciousness could have made him rot away... However, Sly Blue was driven by desire, this monstrosity seemed to be driven by the opposite. When would it rear its ugly head again?

“Virus, name one reason why I should pull us out of scrap.” I said before he even bothered telling me to release us.

“We’ll freeze to death, even if you end my life, you will share that fate.”

“That sounds like a good reason to stay.” I had gotten control over my temperament for now.

“Aoba san… despite our differences, and despite our differing opinions, are you sure this is how you’d like to die?”

I didn’t want to listen anymore, not to someone named after a phenomenon that kills you from the inside. Whoever named this man Virus must have good intuition, or maybe he was groomed into becoming like a walking illness.

“Virus, whenever I see you suffer, it reminds me that humans can prevail.”

“Excuse me?” He replied, with mostly confusion.

“You’re the type of monster that’s purely parasitic, no goals, no ambition. An empty shell that latched onto me like a cancer cell.” I said, with a monotone voice.

He blinked once, frowning a bit.

“We don’t have time fo-”

“You don’t have time for this, and that is just fine.” I now walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes. “Just fine.”

I punched him as hard as possible, just like last time. There was no use, the hatred, the anger, it was suddenly consuming me. I couldn’t control myself.

“G-GH!” he shrieked after I punched him square in the jaw.

Virus spit out a small amount of blood that dripped down his lips, it looked like the wine he would force me to drink.

“Oh, it spilled.” I said, parodying something he had said in a vacant memory.

I smiled, hitting him again. He looked completely helpless, it almost turned me on.

“Am I unattractive to you now? Do you hate me?”

“N-no, you’ll always be my Aoba san.”

My heart fluttered.

“Disgusting.” I spat.

I punched him, watching him spit out more of the accumulating blood. He was in his own bedroom, being beaten up by me. I saw his body quiver once I stepped closer, but his eyes showed no emotion.

“If you had said yes,” I leaned in closer on him, still lying on the floor. “I would have raped you.”

I wanted him to realize how scary it was, how traumatizing it was, however…

He looked taken aback, then he started laughing.

“Haha, I welcome you to “rape” me as much as you’d like. If it’s you, it would never be unpleasant.”

I felt a sudden rush of degradation, realizing Virus didn’t have shame the same I did. If I were there, he would like it.

If I were there, he would like it.

If I were there, he would like it!

“You must have enjoyed hearing me scream for your affections in that box, knowing you would provide it to me while I’m temporarily head over heels for anything with a pulse.” I said, Virus looked back with a gloomy expression. He knew what was about to happen. “How long was I there, did you say three days? Let’s double it, it’s common courtesy to repay a favor in double, right?”

His face showed genuine fear. Not over the top, but it was there, taking the form of a frown.

“I guess scrap really is godly, I have no power here. If this is what you want, there is nothing I can do to prevent it. Please make it enjoyable enough for it to be worth both our lives.” He stated, acknowledging his adversity.

Just like Trip, Virus could handle being beaten up. How disheartening, if we were going to die, it would be nice to see him suffer.

I took his hair in my hand, forcing him to follow behind. I headed towards the bathroom, he stumbled as he was forced with me. At last, we were looking at the torture device that had only been used on me once, but hunted me to this very day.

“Alright, get in the-” I paused the second it was opened, there was stairs going right down, it was impossible to see the bottom. This was a goddamn cellar, not a box. “That’s right, this is scrap after all. I suppose we’ll be forced to play along.”

Virus looked blankly at me, already resigned to death.

Guilt stabbed my chest when I saw his face, beaten up and bloody. The left side of his glasses had broken, and his lips were bloodied.

My brain is a mess, fading through trauma and indecisiveness. The scrap seemed more like a dream at this point. Maybe it was.

“It’s your lucky day, my own brain can’t seem to kill you. If that is so, we have to escape before it finds me.”

I walked a bit away, letting go of his hair.

“Until what finds you?”

“THE THING YO-” My sudden yelling was not under my control, so I stopped to regain myself, “The thing you two created, it’s in here somewhere. My torment has taken a form, and let’s put it this way: My torment is killing me.”

Virus didn’t seem capable to show any reaction, he only went towards the box and said:

“Let’s get out, then.”

I nodded, trying to hold back my wrath. It wasn’t good to let it control me.

“You’ll go first.”

He didn’t reply with more than blank eyes, stepping one foot down the ladder, then another one until he was deep enough down for me to consider slamming the lid shut, but that thought disintegrated when I saw myself again.

Its eyes were now identical to mine, like it had already consumed a part of me. It went closer, now I could see maggots running through its face. I… felt it was relatable.

“Aoba san, are you coming?”

I heard his voice reverberate through the small space. I flung myself out of the monster’s stare, going inside the box. Right before I was completely inside the small space, my eyes registered the blight smiling at me. It was right over me, then it slammed the box shut.

The stairs disappeared.

I was falling in complete darkness.

“Agh!…”

“Aoba san? Are you okay?”

I heard Virus say, right over my head. He had his arms around my legs and back, having caught me in the fall.

“I get it now…” I thought out loud, not taking Virus into account.

He looked at me, like he was about to question me, but then seemed to drift off… until.

“A-” my mouth opened as my hair was pulled.

“I think I understand too.” He said, putting me down then restraining my body against the floor in the lightless room.

I was about to beat him again, but grasped that I couldn’t move.

Goddamn it.

“You cling onto your values and identity, you have no chance of killing us as long as you possess cold feet. The monster in your head is all the power you no longer have, it left you because you wouldn’t kill me.”

That’s not true, not fully, at the very least. I could embrace this creature, but it would make me into it. It’s the image of what would happen if I were to give up.

“Y-you don’t know anything! You’re a bystander in my head, that’s all.” I decried his manipulative stance. “I’ve fought and sorted out my emotions, you don’t even have that!”

I felt no rush as my mouth snapped, only oncoming fear.

“Either way, it seems like we’re trapped together, and if we’re going to die together then I wish for us to get along down here.” He dismissed my desperation like it was boring.

My body was flipped over so that I was lying on my stomach, the cold floor almost felt warm.

“Virus, don’t!”

He was such a sick fuck, having no problem crucifying me to then worship me at his bloodied altar.

“Don’t worry, my lovely Aoba san.” He placed a kiss on my neck, “If this is the last time, I’ll make sure we’ll enjo…”

I heard a shattering noise.

He suddenly paused, I couldn’t see anything, but he sure could. Virus suddenly grabbed my wrist and forced me into him, first I thought it was sexually motivated but he then scooped me up and forced me to hold onto him.

Virus started running while I clung my arms around his neck, he was breathing loudly while seeming determined to get somewhere.

“Why a-are you running?” I clamored.

“What do you think? Look behind you!” Virus exclaimed.

Oh, he has the power now. It’s like last time. I can barely control scrap, my own consciousness had shattered to the point that my own brain can’t understand what I want, it cannot maintain scrap in that state.

“A-aoba san, your eyes?!”

I looked in his direction, somehow knowing where his gaze was. I started freaking out. What about my eyes?!

“Why are they like that?” he asked, his arms gripping me, but they slowly disappeared.

It didn’t matter, his presence was fading, mine as well.

I closed my eyes, feeling colder and weaker. Incredibly ashamed of my shortcomings. Was I returning to reality?

Probably.

I could feel the cold again, and everything was turning into nothingness. Unfortunately, something told me I wasn’t going to die yet.

It all felt so very cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing, I'm trying to experiment with the "lore" of the world I'm writing about. Since scrap is in itself pretty strange and dangerous, I wanted to reflect that in my story. Next one will hopefully be posted soon.


	12. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virus and Trip have to teach Aoba a lesson so he won't try anything stupid again. Aoba doesn't consider himself human when they're done educating him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Sexualized violence, graphic description of said violence.
> 
> This chapter was planned out since I first began this story, but I've dreaded having to write it. However, I consider it a "necessary evil" for character development and plot progression. This is the peak of Virus' and Trip's horrible behavior, it's probably the most vile thing they'll do in the entire story. Other than that, I'm kind of proud of how it turned out, but it wasn't easy to write.

The first thing I noticed when moving was my cold feet; I dragged one up against my leg and sensed warmth. My body seemed to have been wrapped with multiple layers of clothing. I guessed the white around my arms were that of a new shirt, belonging to...

“H...” I let out a soft sigh.

As I regained consciousness, frostbite-like-sensations cursed throughout me. I tried holding my lids open, all the while realizing the car had been replaced. The windows seemed darker, the space was slightly more generous and the heating system was utilized to its maximum capacity. The temperature likely exceeded 30 degrees, yet my toes were twitching from a stab-like tingling, presumably caused by my body’s drastic temperature change. My head slid lazily to the side, but realization of another presence slapped it back in alert. I made a (badly thought-out) fast movement with my back - trying to turn properly to my previous position - but the one in the front seat had already noticed my conscious condition.

“Aoba!” I heard Trip calling my name, climbing over from the front, “You’re awake?”

I looked up at him, affirming his statement with a light, “mhm”.

“You scared us, Aoba. You scared me.”

He took hold of my body, without warning, bringing me into a deep hug. All the blankets stifled my movements. Even if I wanted to resist, it was useless with the accompanied strength Trip had me locked in. I didn’t wish to get away, though. I felt a certain comfort as he hugged me.

It was hard to say if I truly disliked what he did next, crashing our lips together, kissing me so violently; so deeply it was like he attempted to eat my tongue. Albeit the forceful nature, my hands wrestled themselves from the blankets to hug back. He gasped lightly, encouraging me to continue. His grip hardened around me, trying to get us closer. I needed air. My body broke away gently, filling my stomach to prepare for another round. Trip had done so faster, barely getting enough air before he rejoined our lips.

I wasn’t pained, it felt hotter than usual. The desperation that fueled him caused me much needed joy. The weak side of me was content as well, happy the two monsters truly meant it when they claimed they would fight for m-

_Bang._

"Virus!" I clamored in the epiphany, inches from Trip’s face.

My hands loosened around him and reality came swirling in, memories with it. Oh my God. I used scrap, and he had pointed a gun at me; he had shot someone with it; we almost died. _I almost escaped._

In front of me, he muttered, “I guess it’s understandable why he would find that upsetting”.

My eyes widened, “N-no!” I said, “I just remembere-”

Trip cut me off with another kiss, this one more forceful- if that was even possible.

"Not- Ah- another word Aoba.” Trip said between kisses, “Let me feel how warm you are… Stay this way forever. Ok?”

He held onto me, showing no intention of removing himself. I closed my eyes again, attempting to get a hold of the situation. As Trip kept touching me, more unpleasant tingling surrounded my body. I was about to sneeze, wanting to withdraw as not to blow snot all over his face. I moved my arm to his chest, trying to push away. He didn’t separate, I had no choice but to cough on him.

“Ah…” Trip reacted.

“I’m sorry, but you didn’t stop when I tried-” I started, but was left speechless when witnessing Trip licking the mucus off his lips, “What are you doing? That’s disgust-”

He cut me off, kissing me again. He was dangerously obsessive today, but maybe that was reasonable. I had almost died, and if Trip did indeed hold some kind of affection for me, he had almost lost something that mattered.

“Trip, how did I…” I forced out as he took another breath, “Survive?”

“No.” Trip dismissed.

“How?” I asked again, more bluntly this time.

He sighed, finally withdrawing while still holding onto me. It looked like his dead eyes experienced actual emotions when he started to explain, “After I had taken care of the last three men, Welter had come running to me at top speed. You were held in his jaws, completely blue and unconscious. Virus was nowhere to be seen, but I thought nothing of it at the time. At first, I felt nothing, not in an indifferent way, but more like it couldn’t be real. Then I think I experienced true ‘panic’ for the first time since childhood. ‘Is Aoba dead?’ ‘How did he get so cold?’ ‘Why isn’t he wearing my shirt?” Things like that were rushing through my head. I found the car and utilized it’s heating system; checked your pulse; laid a bunch of blankets over you and so on.”

“What about Virus?”

“Heh… Are you worried about him?”

I did not know how to reply to that- indeed, what a good question. Did I give a shit about my abuser? Unfortunately, part of me likely did. He had threatened to shatter my kneecap after shooting an officer through the throat, but he had also deprived himself of sleep and fought tooth and nail to escape Toue… all because of me. This didn’t change that he had tortured me with sexual abuse for nearly five years, but said circumstances forced me to accept him. Virus had done horrible things I only wished to forget, but he made sure to comfort me enough as not to drive me into a mental coma. What a two-faced bastard, our relationship is just that: two-faced. This means…

“No, I don’t. It’s just a shame he’d die without me witnessing his rotting, maggot infested cadaver.” I spat, too muddy in my head to hold restraint.

“Hee- You can be so cruel sometimes, Aoba,” He said with a smile, “But it’s nice to see something else than a victim for once.”

_You were the one who made me into one, cunt._

“I guess you’re the only one granting me the opportunity to be more than that…” I lied.

“Having you with me makes it easier to be alive. I used to feel so zombie-like, everything was just passing by through a grey stream.” He registered my confused reaction, wasn’t it Virus he had described? “I know what you’re thinking, probably ‘isn’t that how you view Virus’ right? Well, not really. He simply guides me through life. A light at the end of a very shitty tunnel.”

Trip seemed somewhat liberated with his emotions, more than usual. “Well, what exactly am I within that convoluted analogy?” I asked.

His eyes seemed to lighten up, maybe Trip thought sly blue was back. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I doubted it. Being near death had made me more fearless, or maybe my emotions were in the early stages of rotting. I didn’t know; I didn’t care.

“You’re the surroundings of the tunnel, Aoba. Before, it was all pitch black or extremely ugly, but when you came along it felt like it suddenly became stunningly beautiful. The indifference I had felt all my life turned into something more. The light wasn’t the only thing that mattered anymore. I started passing through my surroundings with newfound appreciation, I could stop walking and look around me for once. I had discovered beauty. That beauty is you.”

If only I had been beautiful enough for you to stray away from the path your “light” had been guiding you through…

“Is the light snuffed out?”

“Virus is fine. I was more focused on you, but after some time I wanted to look for him. But then he suddenly came walking out of the forest like nothing had happened.” Trip responded, “But you’re still not fine. The bruises around your waist were pretty bad, being held by Welter at top speed while on uneven ground and all. More importantly, you need to regain your strength, you feel so weak against me.”

His words melted me in the hold, granting him access to my mouth again. I wished it could stay that way, but the door opened and slammed me back into reality.

Virus locked the door before I had the chance to contemplate escaping, “He’s awake.” That voice made me freeze.

“Yes, I was simply saying good morning to him.”  
“It’s night, moron.” Virus snapped, lacking restraint he usually held, “Didn’t I tell you to contact me immediately if he regained consciousness?”

“Yes, and I was about to.” Trip said, probably lying.

“He’s been sleeping for three days. Give him the water.” Virus sighed, handing Trip a big bottle.

He wasn’t close to yelling, but something with him made me want to cover my ears.

Virus was angry.

The anger itself wasn’t scary, it was how Virus handled it. He was a man who would still smile when close to passing out from wrath. That was terrifying.

“Aoba, drink.”

I noticed how dry my throat was, taking the bottle with wanton need- only to have Virus pry it from me without meeting my eyes.

“Can you follow my instructions for once?” Virus stated in a chilling monotone unlike him, “He needs to drink slowly. Get it? Or do you actually want him to die?”

“What do you think you’re saying?” Trip retorted, a certain darkness in his voice.

I felt Virus forcing the bottle against my lips, and my mouth barely took a sip before it was withdrawn.

“Hyponatremia is what I’m saying. Though I guess entrusting that information to an idiot with chronic lethologica is almost as stupid as entrusting a treasure with said fool.”

Lethologica… when someone’s in a state where they can’t remember a specific word. How did I know that? If I recall, it was from a book- Virus’ book- that I used to read over and over. Ahh, right. I was allowed some entertainment, after all. Memorizing pretentious words was one of them. It made a painful amount of sense for Virus to own a book like that.

“…” Trip looked confused.

A sigh escaped Virus, “It means water intoxication, he needs to drink slowly.”

“Calm down.” I spoke way too confidently, “I promise to drink slo-”

Virus’ hand met with my cheek. I looked up, while the slap was pretty light, it still hurt. His face held no expression, but his eyes were so icy it made a chill go through my spine.

“Aoba san, we won’t allow you to move an inch until we’re home again.” He grabbed my hands, forcing them under the blankets, “After we’re sure you haven’t gotten any permanent injuries from that stunt you pulled, I’ll tie you up, blindfold you and gag you, then throw you back in the trunk with Welter.”

My heart sank, he didn’t seem to mind my fear at all. I wanted to decry his faulty idea. I hadn’t tried to escape, my intention was purely to degrade him. Before any reasonable words could come forth, Virus interrupted me.

“Don’t worry Aoba san, that’s not even the punishment.”

His forced, subtle smile made me wish I had died. Even after I experienced the physical agony of hypothermia, I still wished my body had never been found. His hand dragged across my face, still cold, and kissed me with none of the passion Trip and I had shared. Fleeting fast and obligatory, the flat smooch ended as abruptly as it started.

“Trip, there’s still one left.”

Trip’s attitude changed drastically, “What are we going to do about it?”

Virus looked at me, this time the subtle smile seemed involuntary, “We’re going to do _that_ ,” he said, “You know what it is, it’ll be a valuable lesson for him.”

Virus gave me one last glance, stating: “Be strong, okay? This is for your own good.

Before I had the chance to react, Virus had already left the car. A cry escaped my mouth, the state I was in could be compared to a hangover. The type when your brain seemed to grow out of your skull. The lingering of frostbite hadn’t helped, and my running nose made it difficult to hide the oncoming sulking.

“Aoba?”

“Why can’t you kill me?”

“What?”

I coughed once, “I feel hated,” I insisted, “You hate me… why do you guys hate me so much?!”

Reduced to a whiny brat, I hid my face in the covers. More than ever, I wanted to die. Regret and anger filled every inch of my body, pushing out the waves of sadness.

Instead of being comforted like I thought, another light slap met with my face.

“…Gh..?”

My head was pulled up with his hands, Trip looked at me harshly.

“Aoba, you are about to experience something much worse than what you’re used to. Because I love you, I’ll give you a warning to pull everything you can together. You will not be comforted now, because you’re about to receive a punishment meant to hit you where it hurts the most.”

Trip showed no reluctance, in fact, he was angry as well. I could feel it in the pressure when he put the water bottle against mouth, “Be grateful I gave you some minutes to brace yourself for this.” Just as I felt my thirst ease up, the water was taken away, “Virus wanted me to pretend-comfort you, so it would be even rougher.”

“T-Trip, I didn’t try to escape,” I broke Virus’ wishes and took my arms out of the blankets; I clutched onto Trip’s vest and sobbed out, “Why am I being punished?! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Hehe, don’t lie, it doesn’t suit you, Aoba.” He stroked my head, looking down on me with those cold eyes.

Something resounded in the mediocre space, and Trip took one look at his wrist and said: “Ahh, looks like it’s time. Do your best Aoba.”

Trip moved slightly away from me, enough for me to see if the door was open. I pressed the handle down in rapid succession, it didn’t open. I looked back at Trip in alert, wondering how he reacted to the loud sound of pulling. He didn’t even face me as he muttered:

“That’s it, be honest with yourself, Aoba.”

Something cold was spreading within me, like a million shards of ice. I looked at the window, while wrestling myself from all the blankets, hitting the window over and over. The fear was blinding in every way, and Trip was now leaning towards me.

In a quick pull, he forced me down on the seats, I could now see what he was holding.

Shackles, and thick ones too, two for my feet and two for my hands. A last one for my neck. They were a light silver, looking sturdy. Trip didn’t wait for me to finish looking, he started with my neck. He dragged me closer to him. He then put the metal around my neck, locking it tightly around me. I could breathe easily, but my headache had worsened.

Next up, he cuffed my hands tightly together, making it nearly impossible for me to move my arms. When he got to my legs, I noticed how wide the chains were. It wouldn’t be easy to run, sure, but I could probably jog in them- if not for the rest of my restrained body.

“Aoba, I hope you’re able to pull yourself together. This will be rough.”

The fact that Trip warned me made it even worse. He had no problems with sending his allmate on me without a word, and he knew how much that scared me. What were they going to do that was enough for Trip to it find harsh?

“Look, Aoba.” Trip said, as he pressed me in front of the window. My heart stopped.

Human.

A human.

There was a human in front of my eyes.

Two zombie-like men dragged a beaten policeman behind Virus. His arms were behind his back, likely chained together. What made him human was his face, likely in his 60’, had slight grey stubble, he looked quite welcoming. I had not seen a human face for five years. Trip got the window down enough for me to hear them speak.

“Tell me, do you remember when I told you about my fiancé?”

“…” The person looked at Virus.

“My dearest, most beautiful treasure...” He made his way over to the man on his knees. “He is right here with me, watching through the black window of the car. You must forgive my lover’s shy nature, he isn’t very used to interacting with other people.”

I felt ill, trying to lay down to ease the hopelessness, but Trip’s still warm hands were on me, dragging me up.

“You may actually know him, since you’re good at memorizing past cases, then again… who could ever forget the face of Seragaki Aoba san?”

“Seragaki!?” The policeman finally spoke up at the mention of my name.

“We’ve had him by our side all this time, I was concerned that my incompetence in finding him would bring my status down… but you were very forgiving, I thank you for that.”

The cop turned calmer, having likely collected his scattering brain; _I wished I could do that so easily._

“W-what…” The policeman’s Japanese was oddly good. Was Japanese turning into an important language here?

He took another shaky breath, somehow that was enough to make him completely relaxed, “Hikaru, how long have you had him?”

Hikaru? Who was that?

“Since before I moved here. I’ve known him for almost ten years now, I think? But we weren’t officially together before five years had passed; so, our bond is very deep. I hope you realize that’s why we’ll protect our relationship.”

With that, Trip opened the car door, gripping onto me so hard my skin threatened to give bruises. That wasn’t good, that man was a person, a normal human. A human being.

_“Now remember before you go, Aoba san, that we take escape attempts very seriously, and have taken all variables into account. There isn’t a single situation we are not prepared for, this includes witnesses. If you are irresponsible enough to let anyone see you, Trip or I will kill them with no hesitation. The place or context said witness saw you doesn’t matter, they will be killed no matter how unnecessary it may be.”_

Virus’ warning before the scrap incident with Trip had ingrained itself in my head.

“T-trip…!”

My whisper was almost an air-filled scream, and as small as it was the intensity was still enough to make him halt.

“…” He didn’t say anything, almost content with dragging me forward.

“Trip!” I whispered, my vocal chords unused as my chest forced a weak breath through them.

He looked at me, but his lack of empathy made my eyes tear up. He had changed back into a callous bastard.

“P-pleas-gh… P-pleaghee…” I started to sob, because now it was obvious what would happen next.

My sobbing was also withheld, still having some hope, some hope that Trip would not open up that car door.

I was still clinging onto desperate hope, even as he dragged me by the hair, even as he forced me out of the car while I was screaming.

“Do you see him, boss? That’s my fiancé.”

“Mine too.” Trip broke his silence.

“Jesus Christ… what have you been doing to him?”

My heart skipped a beat, and I saw a policeman of all things, give me genuine compassion and concern. His face was so shocked at my starved frame and ugly, teary-eyed, drooling mess of a face.

Human.

“N-no… DON’T! R-run away… RUN AWAY!” I screamed my lungs out as Trip was still holding onto me like he was presenting a withering bouquet.

“He is of course a bit distressed by the ever-changing scenery. There’s reasons we never have guests over.”

“You were torturing this young man, and working under a false identity for five years?”

“What you’re saying is… kind of correct, but your perspective is skewed in _his_ favor. I chose my job only due to necessity and access of information, never had I intended to put you, your workers or family in danger. My involvement regarding the disappearances is a part-time job. It’s a necessity to keep my private life secured, after all.”

The man looked at Virus, like all previous respect he had for him evaporated on the spot. I couldn’t blame him, it was appalling to hear Virus had kept victimizing people even after having taken me in as a sex slave. The things he did at work was worse than I thought. Every time Virus had come home and stated he was tired from work, was it because of stuff like this?

“The other part is complicated like all relationships tend to be.” Virus was terrifying when I saw him like that, he had somehow become worse than before. “I suppose we have indeed subjected our Aoba san to multiple degrees of torture, but it was for the sake of integration. Whenever he behaves, we have treated him like the treasure he is. Aoba san means the word to us, that’s all you need to know,”

Liar, you’re a liar. My fingers were aching and my feet were so worn out it felt like they had disconnected from the rest of me. The man was keeping himself calm, but he was not able to meet my eyes for more than a second before looking elsewhere; was I that repulsive?  
“So you’re admitting to having essentially starved, manipulated and tortured a young man for approximately five years while deceiving authority for personal gain?”

“You’re not… completely wrong, but the statement demonstrates bias from your side. You act as if I enjoy causing him harm for the sake of causing him harm, but isn’t that conclusion a bit hasty to make, especially for an outsider?”

“Nothing you’ve said demonstrates anything else.”

“How very professional of you, but I must unfortunately say you’re very wrong. People can do a lot of dreadful things in the name of love, and we’re proof of that.”

“You love Seragaki?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

No.

“Then I have but one more thing I want clarified.”

“Be quick.”

“Have one or both of you ever had sexual relations with him?”

Such a question… what for? If I was in a safe setting it would be understandable, but he went ahead and asked them? He would have to multiply 7 with 364 to get a somewhat accurate figure. It wasn’t impossible math, but in the state Virus was in it would likely be grading to calculate any type of numbers. It had become abundantly clear Virus despised the feeling of fatigue, and I could only hope the defenseless cop would not figure that out.

“Well, that’s inappropriate.” Virus glanced towards Trip, then looked back with his cold eyes, “I’d be objecting to this matters relevance, however maybe we should have expected you to violate basic privacy.”

“I see, you refuse to answer.”

“Don’t worry, imbecilic pest.” Virus walked back to me and touched my torn clothes, however his eyes sat on the beaten man. “We’ll answer thoroughly.”

No way.

“Trip, can you bring Welter from the trunk?”

_Please._

“Yeah.”

**_Stop._ **

“Remember to hold Aoba san down.”

“So, we’re really doing this?”

“He needs to learn how serious his actions were. This is a consequence he will have to hold for the rest of his life.”

“Fair enough.”

Virus and Trip had closed the world off, planning God knows what.

I looked at Virus, having recently witnessed what he had done for the sake of work. So many were hurt or dead because of him, and what for? So I could stay with him. It was something I never thought I’d think, but… I’m the person he cares most about.

That was fucking terrifying.

He has no problem torturing and raping the person he claims matter the most, what will this guy have to face just for annoying him?

“So, you’ve got Welter?”

“Yep, albeit a bit worn out from retrieving Aoba.”

“You better hold onto him until your fingers are covered in blemishes from now on.” Trip’s grip tightened around my stomach until I started to suffocate, Virus smiled and spoke vindictively, “You were less annoying than your coworkers, I’ll give you that much. I do not enjoy what I’m about to do. I hope you know my intention was to keep you away from my business, unfortunately you cannot be let free. It’s time for you to be put out of commission.”

“Unfortunately for you, the microphone in my pocket has picked up your confessions to the crimes of mass murder, torture and rape. Even if you kill me, reinforcements are almost here.” The man said, rather desperately.

“Oh no, whatever shall we do?” Virus threw both hands up in laughter, “Could you, by any means, be talking about this microphone?”

Virus took up a small chip-like device. It was laying deactivated in his palm, and the cop seemed surprised.

“No one was near my uniform after I was caught! There’s no way that’s the same mic.”

“You see, those guards Toue sent had some great resources and tools for mind-alteration. I decided to have some fun and used it after your own men removed it from you. It was fun to see you push Aoba san into such an ashamed state, and what did you think you were doing? you were supposed to be saving him? Fufu” Virus practically sung the words, “But now, it seems the time is up.”

“Y-you can kill us all, but one day you will be caught. I know more than anyone that criminals get too confident and underestima-”

“Blah-blah, I’ll slip up and all we’ve strived for will collapse. Heard it before, plenty of free criminals have. You have no idea who Toue really is, do you? Trip, if you may.”

“Gladly.” Trip must have worn a grin as he shouted; “Welter, rip him to pieces, and do it slowly.”

The man simply held his eyes closed and seemed to be having a silent prayer, I had however started to shout.

“Trip, I’m the one who should face punishment!”

“You are.”

“B-but why isn’t Welter attacking me?”

Trip made eye contact for the first time after shoving me out the car.

“But Aooba, have you been paying attention at all? I would never kill you.”

“S-so you are-”

Before anything more was said Welter had bit straight through the thick uniform. The man shouted out in pain, my initial presumption was that the sounds were due to fear… but only until I saw the lion holding the left arm between its bloodied fangs.

The man had started to spasm with loud breathing, reduced to nothing but suffering. When Welter let go of the hand the bones were visible. Everything blurred. This scene was like ashes being caught in a crimson tornado; it smelled like rusted iron.

I cried daily, that was but a routine; these tears were different. This had turned more primal than the lion’s fangs; the fear of death was resounded in this victim’s prelude. It sounded as terrible as one would imagine.

Something was touching my penis.

I had not noticed the hand going under my belt, but it now wrapped around my genitals. It started to move as the other hand took my pants off.

“No…” I whispered.

Trip reached for my foot, dragging the pants off it slowly. He gripped my dick harder, forcing it to react. It hurt.

“No!” I sobbed, trying to keep my voice down, “Trip, stop stop stop, I beg of you!”

I understood now, why they picked out chains that were longer than usual, exposing me like this was the punishment. Reducing me in front of a respectable stranger, they knew it would hurt me immensely.

“Hey Malcom Smith, can you still hear me?” Virus spoke what I presumed to be the man’s name, which earned him a small reaction, “The rest of your family is waiting for you, like your son. The men who used to work for the man you honor so much, killed him.”

“Y-you did that?” This Smith guy seemed more pained by Virus’ words rather than the lion mauling him. He had yet to see my erected dick, filling me with false relief.

I felt a spasm coming from inside, tickling my stomach. I felt physically ill as my dick reacted further. Trip suddenly forced me to stand upright, still jacking me off, and pushed me towards the injured man.

“Please!”

No reply ever came, he simply kept dragging me.

“Don’t worry, Aoba san. This used to be my boss, he’s very friendly.” Virus said in an uptalk-like demeanor, “He’s wanted to meet you for a while, a lot of people have.”

“Have you told your ‘fiancé’ about how his grandmother never stopped asking for him, how there were multiple demonstrations done in his name?! The suicide attacks that were misdirected at Toue, all because of you!”

“No, we haven’t,” Virus glanced at me and looked back, “See? His frail heart can’t take such information, now he’s cry-.”

“Is my granny dead?!”

The man looked at me, slight surprise in his eyes. If he had seen my dick in Trip’s hand, he had ignored it. Yet after what he said next, I wished he had paid attention to that instead. More than that, I would never forgive Virus for not stopping the man from saying: “…Yes, she died peacefully at Toue’s research facility.”

There was nothing else to do at this point, even my shame disappeared. My life had ended. I thought it had long ago, but there had been some light left in my body that was waiting to flicker out.

“Alright, enough of this dreadful discourse. Maybe you’d like to have that inappropriate question answered now?”

“What question?”

Virus took the choker and tugged harshly, forcing me close to him, “Have we ever ‘fucked’ our dear Aoba san?” He spat the words next to my ear, the venom in his voice heavy, “The answer is yes, yes we have.”

He grabbed my member harshly, forcing it to stand up again. I felt depraved beyond comprehension.

“Well, I prefer to be gentle with him, seeing as anything else would break him.” Virus talked as he forced me to stand in front of him, “Look at him. This is the priced subject of Toue’s research, and he’s been genetically engineered to cum while watching you get ripped to shreds. And the one forcing him to do so was also employed by Toue since childhood”

I wanted to kick him, break him, destroy him- do anything- to make him shut up. I might as die. Welter made its way to the cop’s leg, and this time bit down until…

Crack

Crack

Crack

“Stop it! Bastard, stop it, you monster!” I finally let my rage show, but it was obscured by the agony the cop was feeling.

The man thrashed about, gurgling silencing his decreasing wailing. I didn’t want to look at the display before me, how small bloody clods were pressing out of his skin whenever the lion bit down, or the fact that his left leg was almost severed at the knee. The pain this person was going through was something I could never comprehend, and while I deeply mourned for this stranger, another feeling was enveloping me under it all.

Jealousy.

The man was so amazing, he was suffering so much, yet it looked like he was in control. He experienced an inhumane amount of pain, yet he looked dignified. The elegance he possessed while being eaten alive was unbelievable. He no longer had any limbs without majorly exposed flesh and bone, his fingers were being crushed by the fangs and he still appeared respectable. The badge he was wearing must have been cleaned before he got here, seeing as blood was shining on it. Maybe he had a wife, he used to have a son. I wonder how their relationship was before he got tangled into this mess. He was old, maybe he had planned to retire, move to a warmer place… Get away from here.

He was going to meet his son in a better place. I, however, would be left in hysterics, even though the only pain I felt was the grip around my dick. Virus had forced me right over the human’s head, and he could see everything if he were to get out of the shock. I lamented over my disgusting body, almost coming while this took place. A human being could see me, not the animals I’d been forced to live with for so long. The anxiety made all the shards in my body shatter, and as that happened, I screamed. Cum was leaving my dick, and I was forced to watch it.

I was horrified to see my cum over his dying face as he laid there with blinking eyes, looking right at me. His face showed no reaction. I thought he might be dead, but then he did something that would hunt me for the rest of my life.

“…N-gnot” He gurgled out in pain, “yohour… fau…”

He couldn’t finish the sentence, as his consciousness seemed to be drifting, but there was no relief to be had for me. _Not your fault._ Those words weren’t comforting at all, the strength he had shown only made me out to be more pathetic. I would never be a dignified human being now, that’s the punishment.

I’m no longer a human.

Trip made his way to the body, touching the side of the man’s neck, “He’s dead.”

A sick sensation crawled itself into my heart, filling my insides with wounds. I pressed my knees together, feeling another wave of tears pressing out the ones already on my face. The salty water fell down and hit the dried cum on my thigh. I wanted to close my eyes, but every time I did, the man’s face showed itself.

“I did nothing wrong…” I finally muttered, “I did nothing wrong!”

The chain on my neck yanked me against Virus, who seemed to be sweating as well.

“Yes, you did,” Virus insisted hoarsely, he cupped one hand around my jaw, tugging it to face him, “You betrayed our trust, tried to escape us, and as a consequence, thirteen men died.”

“I didn’t kill them, you did.”

“They died because of your actions, Aoba san.“ Virus said, barely above a whisper, “And worst of all, you tried to get yourself killed. I hope you’ve learned that you’re worth more than anyone else in existence, and we’d sacrifice anyone’s life to keep you with us. If you had gotten up when I told you to, that corpse would probably be drinking tea with his wife about now.”

I was too exhausted mentally and physically to take those words in, but I was not exhausted enough to hold back my rage.

“I hate you so much. I’d be willing to sacrifice every living thing on the planet just to get away from you. Why didn’t you kill me when you said you were going to?! Answer me this! Why give me a mock execution, you goddamn cock-tease? The only nice thing you could have done for me was just a sick joke, hehe, go to hell.”

“Aoba san…”

“Virus! Trip!” I screamed back, “You’ve taken everything away from me, my body, soul, dignity… and finally,” I sobbed out the last words, “My humanity.”

The silence that followed my outburst would normally send me into panic, but really, I was too tired to feel afraid. I could only exchange a glare between my captors.

“Have you calmed down yet?”

“Shut up, you disgusting rapist-”

My ear suddenly began to ring, and the impact of the punch only turned painful when I realized my body had collapsed on the ground. I looked at Virus with complete nausea, touching my bruised chin as another sob-like fit burned my face.

Out of the corner of my eyes, Virus touched his hand, “A-Aoba san, I’m sorry.” I peered at him, enveloped in tears, “I lost my repose again, I did not mean to lay a hand on you.”

I looked away, disgusted, trying to ignore Virus’ pretending-to-care act. Trip walked up to me, grabbed my chain and sighed, “This was necessary, you know this too.”

“Shut up,” I spat on the ground, “I hope you follow that disgusting light until it burns you.”

Trip gazed at me as if nothing had been said. Virus looked away, still pretending to be ashamed of punching my jaw. Something sticky had been trickling down my nose, the smell triggering the recent memories of bloodshed. I let out a cry, like an injured child, and brought all limbs close to each other. My head was covered in my knees, pressing so hard that my eyes hurt. As much as I wanted to forget, that was impossible when the chain tugged again. My neck was pulled up. I only wanted to see the stars, but they weren’t there anymore. Someone pressed themselves up against me, maybe the approaching figure had gone unnoticed because of my ringing ears.

“Aoba san…” Virus muttered behind me, his mood impossible to discern, “We didn’t like this either. I may have pretended to enjoy it for the sake of this punishment, but I can say now that this wasn’t fun in the slightest.”

Virus was hugging my semi-hot body, I couldn’t help but shiver at his warmth. Trip knelt down as well, snuggling against me at the front. After much time and reluctance, I stopped my half-assed hitting, closing my eyes to free another tear.

“Before we escaped Toue, we could’ve never imagined our body count to be this high. This lesson was to educate you about how it feels to murder. It was somewhat desperate of us, I will admit, but hopefully you won’t ever try to escape again.” Virus said, pretending to be shaken up.

“But, Aoba, don’t forget…” Trip started with his mouth against my left ear.

Virus continued the sentence on the right, “We’d do it again.”

I was reduced to small fits of bawling, trapped in their comforting embraces as a human corpse laid meters away. The last thing I could remember was Trip stroking my back, saying:

“You did well, Aoba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Was it too extreme, or was it not as bad as you thought it would be? I'm planning to make Virus a bit nicer after this chapter as well.  
> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to comment, kudos or bookmark! I hope this chapter won't drive anyone away, I promise it won't get worse than this. I also hope everyone stayed in character, it's hard to write them in a believable manner sometimes. This isn't the last bad thing that's going to happen, but the bad things won't just affect Aoba anymore. Also, I've decided to dedicate the next chapter to explain stuff that wasn't addressed here, like why they allowed Aoba outside again and so on.  
> By the way, I've been wondering if I should publish some unrelated Vitriao-based stories that have more fluff and cuteness to make up for the more gritty tone this one has? Tell me what you think.  
> Until then.


	13. Processing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba talk with them both, trying to understand. The few times he does, he refuses to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, I've been having a hard time with this one, but I hope it's still enjoyable. I wanted the characters to talk to each other, and in some ways, try to connect, but fail miserably due to, well, everything. I'm happy that people still follow the story.

Something was cracking more than ever, but who?

“Y-you should know… I will stop at nothing to escape, no matter how many people’s lives will be robbed-”

“Sure you will.” Virus stated lazily, hands settled deep into my bruises.

There was no point trying to hit, it wouldn’t work. The cuffs where restricting at the front, and Virus was behind, dragging the choker so I was pressed against his stomach. He made me walk to the car, much in my dismay. The sky had been with me, if only in darkness.

“Um, maybe I should carry him. He’s trying so hard to misbehave.” Trip’s voice was heard from behind, almost insecure.

“No, you won’t. You’re going to check up on the remaining zombies, then we’re off to the nearest hotel we can find.” Virus hadn’t finished his monologue, that was for sure, he wouldn’t have bent my wrist so hard back otherwise, “All the police witnessing this are taken care of, but there’s a chance some didn’t survive. Dispose of those while I think of how to get Aoba san there.”

“Alright then.” Trip dismissed, “See you, Aoba.”

“Later,” Virus replied, as if he wished to cut him off.

Virus manhandled me. Sweat rolled down to the corner of my neck.

“I will never come to love you! Let go! If you won’t k-kill me, t-then I will!”

“Quiet,” Virus’ choleric muttering couldn’t control me..

“No, you shut up-” I said, but was muted when Virus took my ankle in a bruising hold, raising it to throw me off balance. He then grabbed my lower back, raising it up like he was carrying me from a wedding.

“You’ll burn in hell!”

“Do you plan on going back to square one, Aoba san? That’s fine, we’ll keep on doing this until you’ve finally tired yourself out.”

“I won’t ever stop! This hatred will linger even when I’m dead!”

“Let’s see how long you’ll keep up that attitude. I predict a week at most.”

“Maybe I won’t resist physically, but oh god, believe me when I say my feeling will stay like they were frozen in time!” I snarled.

Virus looked down, his eyes glowing in the dark, “You haven’t realized it yet, _dear_?” He put me down on my legs, there was no time to get comfortable as I was shoved into the car, “You’re going to love us, you don’t have any other choice. We’re the only people in your life”

“NO! My friends, and family… They’re with me, even when you guys torment, torture and rape me!” I retorted.

The door behind me was shut hard, the locking rang heavily.

“Oh? Fufu, so you’re telling me your family routinely watches you get assaulted, never intervening?”

“That’s not what I said, you word-twisting sociopath.”

Virus smiled, grabbed my upper arms and slammed me against the black window. I looked up, lungs shutting down as my senses took in his more-than-annoyed look.

“It is what I am saying, and you better listen. Most members of your little friends-club have been announced or assumed dead. If we hadn’t rescued you from Toue-”

Despite my fear, I couldn’t help myself, “HA. Haha! Rescued?! Go fu-!”

His lips slammed into me, brutishly. I wanted to evade, but he had me pressed into the corner.

“Yes, rescued. You believe you’re the most tortured person in existence, thus proving how spoiled you are. Do you know what it’s like being a test subject, Aoba san?”

Those words…

Sei was always a doll, emptied of content and identity. Only fractions of a person remained in his frame. I couldn’t deny it, even when seeing my reflection in a dead man’s blood, I was still filled with will, ambition and, regrettably, emotions.

Sei likely didn’t know what those emotions were like, never got to understand how his life could have been.

“Y-you’re right… I… don’t.”

Virus eased his grip, seemingly about to speak but…

“That’s why… I’ll save my only brother. I will save him, and show him a better life!”

_Wow, Virus actually flinched,_ averting his gaze with an uncomfortable expression.

“Aoba san… Your brother, he was, he was _really_ doing much better than the rest of us.” Virus stopped, accustomed to the possible outbursts such words tended to send me into. Maybe Virus hoped it would’ve, so he didn’t have to fabricate a lie about the state of my dead relative.

“When you saw your brother, he had been abused since birth, yes, but the last years when Toue saw his health diminishing, Sei’s life quickly improved. We did take him out sightseeing at Platinum Jail, years before we abducted you.”

“Yes, you got to see my family get tortured, and did fuck all about it.”

His artificial eyes shouldn’t have been able to make such a flicker.

“You know fuck all about my life, Aoba san. I suggest you reevaluate your understanding on this topic. We were all his property. The only difference was that Sei wasn’t disposable. We had to make ourselves valuable, if we failed, they used us in other ways. I don’t want to spell out what liberties they had, but getting eyes like mine were considered a privilege, with or without anesthetics.”

I hid my empathy by laughing in his face, “Those bodyparts of yours could have greatly contributed to society, what a shame.”

“Yes, such great contributions as radiation tests and decomposition in acid.”

“…You liar, that doesn’t make sense at all. Why would they waste children on-”

“Can you get through your little head that we were disposable?”

He slammed me against the window again, the varying landscape of metal handles greeting my back, like a dentist hitting teeth with a drill.

“Agh!”

Virus sighed, nothing to be scrutinized, but still unnerving.

“I didn’t mean to push you that hard, apologies.” He removed a hand, remarkably observant of my docility, “Understanding your circumstances is a necessity if you ever want to control them. The only reason you’re alive is because of us, and likewise, you’re a crucial necessity for me and Trip. To think we could coexist… Suppose negotiation never was your strong suit, right? Fufu.”

“W-what are you-” My chin was grabbed by him, eyes flickered like a candle, “I d-don’t understand how you can explain this away with such confidence.”

Virus ignored my words, “If you can’t even know how to exist in your environment, you’ll never know how to escape. I guess that’s good for us, seeing as we can do this forever.”

The deliberate haste after his pause was tickling my nerves. Jumpy, albeit with heat as he had once again started forcing me to kiss him. The constant surprises of his lips were bad for my nerves.

“V-virus, I can’t-!” I heard my words echo in my head, wondering if they left outside our entwined mouths.

My pleading might as well have been unspoken, his body wouldn’t bulge and his hand wouldn’t stop pressing against my hair. I fought to get out of his grip, but the more my body tried, the more his teeth pushed down on my lower lip. The pain increased at each movement, and my body demanded rest the more I pushed and he punished.

I wanted Virus off, to forget what had happened outside just a moment ago. It seemed like he enjoyed it whenever the fight ceased, in the back of my mind I wondered if he was hard. Had he been when he forced me to cum in the face of a dying man?

“Raping me forever? Killing the innocent forever?”

He didn’t listen, being too focused tracing my neck with his lips.

“You took the life of a human.”

Virus went down, his hands were warm, but it was hard to know if I perceived him that way due to my freezing form. Still, his tongue was hot and his eyes were on fire. His brows were furrowed slightly, his lips slightly twitching whenever I tried separating from us.

“Virus… If you love me, why do you take it upon yourself to make me hate you?”

The man halted only ever so slightly, closing his eyes and placing his lips on the middle of my chest as I felt his breath hitch. For a moment, I felt his fingers tremble, he looked strangely weak and timid as his lips turned warmer on my skin. Virus kissed my collarbones hastily, the impact as light as raindrops.

“Stop.” I said.

He licked my neck, not caring for the pain that would linger there.

“Stop.” I said, louder.

I felt insane, or maybe calling myself insane was inaccurate, stupid and desperate may be better words to describe what I was doing.

“Stop!”

I tried kicking, but the small space and position turned my movements into pathetic flailing. His hand was back in my hair, tugging backwards until I felt Hersha move at my legs.

“Aoba san, stop.”

I looked at him, trying to ignore the fear he brought forth. He glared at me while the snake prepared to clutch against me. We stayed like that for a while, his face soften ever so slightly after I nodded.

The snake slipped off and he continued. His finger was tracing around each one of the violent marks. I flinched each time he touched a new one, despite his gentle movements. Virus pushed my shoulders down until I laid properly on the seats. I thought he would start having sex, but instead he kept touching my damaged skin, this time with his mouth.

“Virus, don’t gh-!”

He kept his lips on whatever sensitive spot he could find, and my vulnerability became impossible to ignore. His tongue traced a particularly bad bruise located under my ribcage and I whined. Virus paid no heed to my pain, and kept sucking on my battered skin.

I tried to separate my legs enough to initiate the main part of his unpredictable ritual. It was easier to get through the rest of the abuse when he first pressed himself inside. My seducing proved itself unworthy of his attention, his fixation on my damage had taken up his interest. I was scared.

My legs were still trying to avert his attention, and it finally worked. Virus took hold of my damaged ankle and inspected it closely.

“How did this happen?” He asked, narrowing his eyes,

“W-while I was running.”

“Nonsense.” Virus stated lowly.

I didn’t want Virus to know anything about the scrap event, not even that Trip had hurt my leg.

“Virus, please…” I gave up trying to do anything other than begging.

“You’ve been good at saying my name lately, Aoba san.” He finally smirked, but it only made me shudder. “Why don’t you say it again?”

He had granted me mercy with letting go of my leg, but he had only wished for a reciprocating action.

“Virus.” I had no reason to deny his request, but my voice was flat; lacking in any of the eroticism he was seeking.

“No… Say my name like I say yours.” He leaned into me more, his hand gripping the side of the seat. His lips met mine in a careful manner, touching the side of my body as his lips caressed mine. I had almost forgotten Virus’ words until he separated from me and leaned against my ear, whispering; “Aoba san…”

_I couldn’t do it, not like that,_ were my initial thoughts, however I truly feared for what might happen if I disobeyed a blatant command. There was only one feeling I had for him.

“Virus...” I imagined begging him not to shoot me in the head after he finally grew tired of me, I imagined screaming from inside the box as he threw it into an isolated lake. I begged him not to cut me up into little neat pieces and send them to my grandmother on white day.

Oh, that’s fine, granny was dead.

“Virus!”

The stress of lingering murder and thoughts of death didn’t mix well with a tired body. The scenarios I envisioned turned more and more real. I grabbed Virus for the sake of feeling another person that could confirm the violent scenes were, in fact, not real.

“Fuu… it really sounds like you are longing for me, doesn’t it?” Virus sounded almost sad, he laid his head on my chest as I held my cuffed hands involuntarily around his neck. “Aoba san, you certainly are a good actor.”

His defeated voice woke me up from the comfort, and the sudden feeling of guilt made me disgusted. He moved his head up, looking at me before averting his eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder if we could have been together in a different way.”

Resentment raked itself over my fluttering heart. The genuine sympathy I felt was dangerous.

“Y-you two always seemed out of my league, to be honest. I used to be intimidated by you… since you were always so unpredictable, I dismissed your feelings… because it seemed like you were just joking.”

Virus looked at me again, this time distancing himself slightly from me.

“We always wanted you, and tried to build a relationship with you in a natural manner.” Virus hovered more above me now, the angle making him frightening. “It really is insulting to hear that you were never comfortable in our presence.”

“I-it was meant as a complimen-”

Virus grabbed my chained wrists and dragged me up by the metal, it dug into my flesh, causing me to cry out.

“Really? That’s strange. I don’t consider it flattering at all.” It sounded like he hoarsely growled out the last words, and his low voice didn’t help.

“W-what? How can you be offended by hearing that I held admiration for you? F-for god’s sake I was just trying to somehow connect for once! Is that wrong too?”

It seemed he flinched at my words, or maybe my quivering eyes were making optical illusions. He closed his eyes and leaned forwards until our noses were touching.

“I apologize, it seemed like it was a stupid thing to contemplate. Of course, we had to abduct you, that was the only way you would become ours. I really did want you to be happy beside me, but that was never an option, was it? I never wanted any of your worthless admiration, whether related to respect or anything of similar insignificance. I only ever wanted to think you were at the very least considering us as potential partners.”

I tried pulling away again, this time he didn’t hold onto my hair, but rather let go of the chain and allowed me to trap myself in the corner of the car. I only managed to pull away enough to see his tired eyes before he was close again.

 I was scared.

“…I did consider you attractive, but I wasn’t thinking of being together with anyone back then. Your signals weren’t something I looked deep into…”

“Aoba san?” His voice was light again, and it was somehow making everything feel colder.

I looked at the ceiling, too tired to respond. I couldn’t even avoid his gaze as he closed in on me.

“I’m glad you can no longer ignore our love for you.”

An overwhelming feeling of desperation stabbed my chest, and I tried to ignore his restless eyes.

Trip had to be done giving instructions by now. I wanted him to save me.

“I-isn’t it his turn?”

“What?” As usual, Virus didn’t seem to appreciate my priorities.

I didn’t elaborate, and he was forced to break the silence.

“You want him here?”

It was embarrassing to nod, but it was better than vocalizing the confirmation. He looked at me, as if he was moments away from yelling, but the only thing Virus did was sigh.

“I suppose he can join us.”

I hit myself internally, vigilant over how the situation had become even scarier. Those two didn’t seem keen sharing any kind of company together, now it would become even worse.

He took up his wrist and frowned as he contacted Trip, I heard exchanging of swift words before he hung up.

Pulling his coil away after the short call was enough to make me quiver, this situation only had negative outcomes.

“He’s here soon, looks like Trip has the same needs as you.” Virus sounded annoyed, but withheld his façade.

I tried to seem carefree as my body lied under him, but the control slipped away when I heard the door open behind me.

“Aooba~ you really wanted to see me?” Trip smiled and looked down at me, I was almost relieved, but the blood on his shirt slapped me into reality.

I didn’t look at Virus, but still felt the anger radiating from him enough to shoot both hands forward and grasp flimsily at Trip’s bloodstained shirt.

“I-I need t-to talk to y-you!” Shit.

“What?” Trip replied.

My head didn’t move to look at Virus, I didn’t dare.

“I-I beg of you.” I pleaded as persistently as possible.

“Strange… I guess you mean just the two of us” Trip looked over my head, I guess towards Virus. The silence only lasted for seconds but cold sweat still meet with the chains, “Virus, can you go outside for five minutes?”

“Well, well. You were invited over here by me, and now you’re trying to make me leave?” Virus finally spoke up.

“No, Aoba is.”

I felt like someone had kicked me in the chest when Trip said that. The fear had increased, and I thought Virus would actually kill me if given the chance.

“… Fine, only five minutes.”

“Does that sound good, Aoba?”

I tried to hold back the enthusiasm in my nodding, and closed my eyes to await a thud from the car-door.

It felt like forever until Trip touched me.

“Aooba, he left. Get up.”

I had an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu, but refused to reflect on it further, instead my cuffed hands tried helping the rest of my body up. I looked at Trip, trying to eradicate the silence.

“V-virus is going to kill me…” I leaned towards Trip, trying to get as close as possible, he pulled me to him automatically, signaling me to continue, “He is insane, and, a-a- “

I had no energy left, now it was his job to say something while my breathing caught up.

Trip averted his gaze, looking up. He almost acted like an awkward boy on a first date, “He won’t, Virus demonstrated that fact himself. He always knows what he wants and the means he will have to go to. Virus was threatening me and was too angry to restrain himself from using you.”

“T-threaten you? I-I was the one who got a mock execution, stop spewing nonsense!”

“Since you were already to be punished for your actions he thought it would be killing two birds in one stone.” Trip had ignored my spontaneous outbursts and was surprisingly calm, “I won’t lie, it scared me. If only for some seconds, it got me.”

I focused only on the same thing as before, not interested in his deceitful pandering.

“B-but why though? Why would he threaten you?”

“Well, I was breaking our rules, and didn’t listen to his silent warning. It’s not rocket science that he’d be mad.”

It really was rocket science, I didn’t understand at all… However, maybe that was alright.

“He does feel remorse, you know?”

Trip’s sudden words confused me, and I gave him a questioning look

“Maybe not as much remorse as others would, but after Virus had calmed down he barely spoke of anything other than your recovery and how he should go about approaching you. It is like he thinks he’s disgraceful for hurting you, even now.”

I only took in the words, not the meaning it held. Virus had kept hurting me worse than ever before these last weeks. He didn’t feel anything.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You’re the type to stay in denial over something obvious, aren’t you? Sometimes it’s cute, but now it’s just annoying.” Trip held me more forcefully than before, he brought his hand up to my jaw and forced me to look at him, “What do you think I’m referring to?”

No.

“Aoba, we love you.” I felt too reassured, too fuzzy and too safe, I couldn’t escape his grip, nor accept how he succeeded in comforting me, “The second he stated he would kill you I forgot how much time we spent hammering in how they never were to hurt you. Besides, he had specifically rigged the allmates to make it impossible. that’s reassuring, right? We care so much for your safety. We’re keeping you away from Toue, we will never abandon you no matter what happens.”

“I-I can’t do this, please, I can’t face Virus now. He’s really angry, maybe for the first time… he’ll actually act upon his anger and t-then...”

“I twisted your foot the other day.”

“But you didn’t break it… I could still run with it.”

“I was supposed to, but you were too pitiful. I couldn’t do it.” For a moment, it was like Trip had figured out he’d said something secret, immediately changing the subject, “However, there’s something you should realize. Do you know how you look at us when you’re scared?”

I didn’t bother to think over anything, only answering with an empty stare.

“It’s addicting as hell, basically. The idea that you’re vulnerable and at our mercy, mixed with the fact that we would never go too far, it’s a good feeling.” His voice turned husky and he leaned in to whisper, “It reminds me of how much I own you… you belong to me, Aoba.”

I peered wide eyed, forced out of my comfort as he chuckled.

“Ahh, that’s it. You’re doing it right now.”

I looked away, and saw that Virus was heading back to the car.

Trip calmly stroked my hair as I felt more and more panicked. “T-trip… Please help me… save me… don’t leave me alone with him. I’ll be as terrified as you want, but please!”

“Shhh, you’re safer than me when we’re around Virus, he really has a deep-rooted passion for you. It wouldn’t make any sense for him to truly hurt you. Aoba, you saw what happened to someone who would only annoy him, didn’t you? Think about how many times you’ve caused him trouble, if he wanted you dead, you wouldn’t be here.”

Was Trip scared too? Or was he toying with me?

“P-please, protect me. Only this time, Trip.”

 “Aob-”

The door swung open and Virus sat down, closing the door while glaring at me.

“I do hope you’re fine with coming over to me, Aoba san.” He said, with that overly friendly act.

With suppressed fear, my limbs climbed over to his body. I looked at him, unsure of what to do.

“Go on, unbuckle my belt.” He said and I tried not to hesitate.

I did as asked, now waiting for the next direction whilst trying to ignore his obvious lust.

“Take it out.”

My resolve weakened slightly, but I still took his dick out without too much of a fuzz.

“Use your hands effectively, don’t let the performance be lackluster simply because you’re wearing handcuffs.”

He didn’t intend to remove restraints, eyes were already ardent on seeing struggling from me. I finally got credit in the form of his breathing but only until he decided to accelerate my labor with another request.

“You’re not half bad, but you have become clumsy with your hands.” Virus pushed my arms back, signaling me to stop, “Use your mouth.”

With that, I was pushed down. I gagged on his dick upon impact, he noticed this.

“I see, rusty already? Seems like you’ll just have to endure it.”

He then shoved me deeper down, forcing me to deepthroat him. It didn’t take long for me to form tears. I tried vocalizing my discomfort, but no sound could escape. My mouth tightened against his cock, hands shivering as they reached for his.

I held his free hand as his other one was wobbling my head up and down, threatening to tug at my hair if I didn’t meet his expectations.

“Aoba san, use your tongue more.”

I was willing to do anything he asked when his fingers were entwined with my hair, and my tongue started moving around him.

“Virus, can we switch?”

“What.” When virus spoke, I felt his hand tighten in my hair, aggressively shoving me down to the base of his dick, almost like an attempt to display ownership.

“I want him do that to me.”

“… Prepare him, then I’ll consider it.”

“Like usual?”

“Like… usual…” He said, like he had full ownership of my body.

Had Trip actually found it in him to listen?

“Poor Aoba, those bad people really beat you.” Trip said. I wasn’t sure if he mocked me or not, “Time to make you feel better, you deserve a reward, don’t you?”

I felt one finger press against my hole, making its way in with slight resistance until I felt it abruptly sink completely inside. As it was submerged properly in my ass, it went to every side of my orifice. At first, I didn’t react, but as Virus eased up on the rough treatment, I was allowed to feel the pleasure.

The finger thrust harder and deeper, making me whimper a bit as it hit the spot. The intimate feeling was weird, but it wasn’t unfamiliar. Virus could probably feel my voice being restrained against him.

“Hm…” Virus moaned, closing his eyes and grasping my hand tight. “Good boy, keep going like that.”

Trip started pressing another finger inside of me, I felt it as my heart started beating harder in my chest. He separated the fingers inside me, forcing me to open up. He was probably using this opportunity to inspect the innermost debt of my hole, and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I tried closing it up instinctively, but couldn’t manage as he forcefully inserted two more fingers inside me.

“Gh-!mh…”

“What’s the matter? You’ve taken bigger things in you before, haven’t you?”

“Ah- n-no, not that harshly, I’m sore!” I gasped out the words.

“Don’t stop.” Virus spoke softly, forcing my head back down.

It started to hurt, all four fingers spreading away from each other, it felt like they were fighting against the inside of my ass. It was like my hole was an elastic band, about to tear at any moment. Just as I was about to cry, Trip stopped.

“His insides are really hot.”

“Of course,… you’re inside his body.”

“No, he might be in pain.” Trip responded, almost defensively.

I felt strange when Trip acted like that, even weirder when he pulled out his fingers.

“Well, I will have him tonight. If you want our dear Aoba san to feel good, you better stretch him out. I need this.”

“Sorry, Aoba. Try thinking of something enjoyable.” Trip said, reinserting his fingers.

“GhMH!”

I tried to let go of Virus’ clutching hand, but he still held onto it.

“Have you tried stroking him?”

Trip didn’t answer Virus’ question, but clearly listened as his palm clutched tightly around my now flaccid cock.

“H! mh…” I reacted, feeling his cock twitch in my mouth.

Was Virus about to come?

“Ahh… Aoba san, please slow down.” He commanded.

I didn’t listen, rather wanting to wrap this up as fast as possible. The best way to do this was to make him cum prematurely.

“A-aoba san, I asked you to stop.” He said.

I felt an immense pain shoot through me as he lifted me up by the hair.

“Aoba san, sto-”

“N-no! no, no, no!!”

My body had taken control. Everything was running on my fear’s whims. The panic from the murder had delayed itself and came forth as their disgusting hands dragged over me.

“Aoba, calm down.”

“Just shove two fingers down his throat.”

Their voices drove me further into primal instincts. I didn’t want to die here. Not around them. I intended to survive long enough to buy my own clothes and wash my own hair. I wanted to by flowers for her...

“Ah-AHH! LET GO! WANT TO GO HOME! I-I WANT MY GRANNY!”

I made a fist and swung towards Virus’ face, hoping he hadn’t noticed, sadly he realized the attack and dodged. I tried kicking behind me, only able to brush against the side of Trip’s ribs before he took a sturdy hold of my foot. Both hands were removed from my ass and grasped onto my legs.

“Aoba san.” Virus said, clasping both hands on either side of my face, “We’ll stop, alright?”

I sulked, decreasing my resistance at each second Virus glared. It wasn’t due to being calm, it was only fear.

“But you have to be a good fiancé and comply as well, can we rely on Aoba san being a mature and intelligent boy?”

I was still having a mild panic attack, but his words were easy to reflect over. “Fiancé,” is a word they used before killing that cop. Was he seriously going to call me that?

“I-I’m not… your…” I hesitated, but the silence prompted me to go ahead, “I’m not your fiancé, I’m your sex slave.”

I was forced to keep looking at him as he smiled, looking like someone had told him a funny joke.

“Aoba san, you know we love you until death do us apart… but, fufu, you’re terrible in bed. Always insulting us, screaming and begging us to stop. We have to do everything in our power just to make you enjoy it.” His tone alluded to a mindset someone took on when speaking to a child, “Well, ‘terrible’ isn’t exactly true, we love having sex with you. Any sex with you is good sex. You’re wonderful the few times you do cooperate with us”

“I guess the point is, you wouldn’t survive as a sex slave. Being in that trade is horrible, your teeth would’ve probably been pulled out if you even tried biting someone. thinking you’re in such a situation is delusional.” Trip continued to explain.

“Haha, right?”

My head was let down on the seat, it was hard to know if the damp feeling was from sweat, drool or tears. Maybe all of it.

“Y-you two are just bullies… Fucking bullies.”

“Sorry Aoba, bullying you is fun. You have the most adorable reactions.”

“Yes, that’s correct. Since it seems you’re too tired to play, we’ll do so when we’re finally in a nice, soft bed.”

I wept soundlessly at the words, wanting only to sleep.

“Don’t think this is over, Aoba san. We’ll continue later.”

I closed my eyes, hearing someone, probably Trip, climb over to the front of the car. It drove steadily at once, and when I was almost asleep, they spoke.

“He was bleeding some weeks ago.”

“What? How could that happen?”

“I don’t know, you have to be careful though. I let him ride me, and he kept going until he was bleeding all over my mattress.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t… something else?” Virus asked shamelessly.

_I wanted to die._

“Yep, a hundred percent. It was only blood.”

“Well, that’s bad. In what context was that anyway?”

“It was after the incident. Pumped him full of…”

I didn’t catch what Trip said, but Virus seemed distressed by it.

“I thought it was something milder.”

“Eeh? You broke his arm.” Trip answered, more annoyed than before.

“Exactly. Not only should that painkiller have slowed down his healing, it may have interfered with the drug test.”

“I thought you realized what drug it was.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know?”

As they were distracted, I tried pulling open the door, not at all interested in eavesdropping.

“Go to sleep. If you don’t remain docile, there’ll be no choice but to put you in the trunk.” Virus was serious, and his anger was still there.

I wanted to yell at him, but now it was too scary again. I tried fabricating an excuse, “I can’t sleep.”

“That’s unfortunate, I hate doing thing’s the brutal way. Trip.”

As if waiting, on cue, his elbow met with the back of my head. It took less than a second before I lost consciousness. I hadn’t even noticed the car stopped moving.

“Try thinking of something nice, Aoba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter will be a bit better, and have some "appealing" smut in it. Something that doesn't involve panic attacks or gore. I tried my best to make this sort-of sex scene very unappealing, wanting to showcase how fucked up Aoba feels, and how much Virus and Trip choose to ignore/make light of it. I desired to see them kind of try to comfort each other, but just end up trying to hurt each other, because that's what their relationship was built on. I image that Aoba would be unwilling to take their small acts of decency as true, even if they were genuine. I don't think anyone would be able to do so.  
> Well, I'll try to upload faster, but life can be busy. I hope this chapter was ok!


	14. Unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History repeats itself when Aoba goes through an obvious trap. What he finds out horrifies him. This chapter is pseudo-smut. It gets a bit erotic, but the context makes it rather terrible overall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is looong overdue! So sorry, life made it harder to focus on this story ;_; As always, I appreciate every comment I get and read them even if I don't respond. I'll finish this fic, even if it's the last thing I do.
> 
> Warning: Suicide tags will become more relevant from now on.

I was in a hotel now. The different air when I awoke told me as much. I was sleeping in a soft bed.

Not that it was possible to see with a blindfold folded over my eyes. It was nicer than what usually grazed the eyes, not as thick and gross, it was silky and likely pitch black for outside observers, no light was allowed through. Strangely enough, I wasn’t chained.

Having barely moved, the “surroundings” hadn’t realized I was awake. They were here, I knew they were. They spoke nothing that was worth noting, only clear thing was Virus pestering Trip to leave. This wasn’t promising, but pretense of sleep shielded me from confronting Vi-

“Aoba san, I know you’re awake.”

Any voice he took on was scary, but the additional situation made it so much worse.

“I-I’m… sorry.”

“It’s fine, didn’t expect anything else.”

Sinking into silence, I hoped he wouldn’t pull me up again, it wasn’t intelligent to hope Virus would let me sleep.

“You remember, I presume?” His hand was then placed on my thigh, nothing except his restless fingers present in my mind, “The choice you made when pulling my hair, Aoba san, do you think it was worth it?”

What? Hadn’t he already punished me with the dead man and kneecap threat... No, it wasn’t that he referred to…

_Oh._

“Maybe some mercy should be granted, since the duration is so long. I’ll give you some water beforehand, don’t want my treasure dehydrated.”

“N-now?!”

It was surprising to hear he was serious when claiming he’d fuck me for hours without breaks.

“Shortly, our pursuer has settled down for the moment. Really, that old man sent us so many resources. The best thing? No one knows we murdered that chief, I’m literally the only survivor in a horrid massacre.”

_I didn’t want to hear about this anymore_

“F-For how long will we stay?”

“Not very long, a day or two. If you’re a good enough boy, maybe we’ll even allow you outside?”

“Huh?”

Before I had the chance to question him, a bottle pressed against my mouth.

“Make sure you drink properly.”

I snapped my hands around it, pulling it from him. He lifted his hands in a superficial surrender, a complimentary smile matched the look. Virus turned to the side, rising from the bed and out of nowhere put a… key on the chair beside the door.

I looked for the allmate. Hersha lied on the side, in an autopilot-sleeping state. It would take some seconds for the snake to realize what was going on if I were to suddenly sprint. The door was about five meters away, and Virus had his guard down. It hadn’t worked last time I attempted to escape, but maybe, just maybe I could make it this time. Even with the fishy nature of this setup, I had to take this chance.

“Aoba san, what are you thinking so deeply about?” He retrieved to the bed, looking with adoration, not far from how one would eye a pet.

Could I outrun him? No, but if I threw the blankets over him, it would add to the time it took to get up. I was going to get punished anyway, might as well take a chance.

“I’m drinking…”

“You are? But then… why is the bottle still full?” He said, sharpening his eyes.

He closed in, touching my thigh again. I clutched the bottle with my right hand, holding the sheets with my left. Swallowing while steadying my feet.

“Say, Aoba san… maybe I should hel-”

I flung the bottle as violently as my hand could move, enough for him to back off and steady himself. I felt the urge to vomit, but didn’t relent as the unfolded duvet was taken and thrown over the snake and his allmate. I leaped at record speed.

The key lying on the chair was shoved hard into the lock. I fumbled with it back and forth like I was attempting to show the keyholder how much I’d been fucked.

With luck, it unlocked. I entertained a panicked glimpse behind me, and Virus simply sat there with a now folded duvet and black eye. Hersha laid dormant around his neck. Worst of all, he was smiling.

“I advise you to come back for your own sake, but feel free to go for a small stroll if you can’t resist.”

My heart pounded in rhythm with my head. Shaking my head and quivering, I stormed out and slammed the door.

I couldn’t help but look around, overwhelmed by the details and space. Chandeliers hanged from the ceiling and candles were held on the top of the stairs. The window far to the right informed me that it was nighttime. Was I ever going to see the sun?

There was no time for me to lament, I had to get a phone. My feet moved on their own.

It must’ve been strange, a naked, blue haired man crying like a child, running. I desperately tried finding the reception, praying to God Trip wasn’t outside somewhere. As soon as I reached the stairs, my feet fumbled down the steps as hands grasped their best for support.

_Receptionist, receptionist!_

The floor was adorned with sickening patterns, not the same as Virus’ room had, but similar enough to make my stomach turn. I felt drowsy and weak, scanning for anyone that could help. Colors and interior melted together in a dream-like state. As things cleared, I saw it, a woman rearranging some cloth. She was the only one in the large hall.

“Help me!” I exclaimed cautiously.

“AH!” She jumped.

“I-I God!! Please help me, need to get to the reception before they come back!”

“Wh-what?”

She seemed old, frail. Should I… overpower her and steal her phone? No, that would drive attention if she screamed. She and I were the only ones in the hall and it should be kept that way. I didn’t want to hurt a short, old woman either. What could be done now?

“ _Help me!_ ” I pleaded cluelessly.

The lady looked away, dazed as she handed me one of the shirts and sport pants on the side of the bench. The smell of an uncleaned gym came to mind as she shoved it in my face.

“Huh?” I asked, too fearful to think.

“Cover yourself, please.” She said.

The snake really must’ve tempted me to bite the forbidden fruit; the sudden knowledge of the fact I was nude in public horrified me. With no need to relent, I dressed in dirty clothing and savored the feeling of privacy.

The old woman looked wide eyed, frightened as she peered.

“I know this is weird! I’m sorry, but I’ve been held prisoner by some of your guests! They have… done unspeakable _horrors_ towards me. I need the receptionist now!”

She paused, the tense attitude stayed the same, but she spoke more naturally.

“Young man, I am the receptionist. Do you need any… help?” She said with one eye open, hiding her hands in her pocket.

“G-get me a phone, before they come back for me, please!”

“O-of course, we just need to get to the reception first, alright?”

She moved oddly fast, but I was grateful for that. The last thing needed was an old lady preventing my escape. Who knows when they’d come to get me. Virus wouldn’t let me outside if I could just run into the forest. A phone was the only chance I had.

“A-Are you sure there isn’t a phone on you?”

She looked up at me, fidgeting in her beige pockets, “I am truly sorry, let’s stay calm and I’ll get you there.”

Her demeanor was strange, even for this situation. The shirt covering my body was clutched. My eyes kept darting, trying to stay in the shadows in case either of them would look for me. Was she wary? Well, of course she was, how could anyone not be suspicious of a naked, jumpy man appearing out of nowhere.

“I mean no harm, lady!” I tried seeming as proper as possible, having to convince her, “Those people that took me are close by!”

“We’re close, young man.” She dismissed, almost strictly.

The brown walls and surrounding chandeliers seemed endless, but finally after walking on the ground of hellish memories, it was cut off by a light carpet adorned under the reception desk.

“Ok, you need to hurry. These people are ruthless! They’re going to kill you if they get here!”

“I’m dialing right now, ok?” She gestured to the black phone she held, looking at me with underlying judgement.

“Ok, ok!” I said, looking over my shoulder.

I thought there was movement in the dark, but at this point I dismissed it to stay sane.

“Hi, is this the police? Mmm… Yes, that’s correct. Please, right now…”

Did she think this was a bank appointment?! Her detached tone made me frustrated, this was taking too long. She spoke like a robot, not grasping the danger.

“Oh, that’s ok… Mm… Yes and do hurry.”

Had she accidently called her grandchildren?! They could be here any second, was she going to rob me of the only chance I had by purposely doing it slowly?

“Thank you… this was most unfortunate.”

I closed my eyes, hands over my face as I used all my strength to mutter, “God, you need to hurry up! They could be here an-”

A sudden bang erupted from the side of my head, aching once another foot hit my face. I had collapsed on the ground, resigning the second a third foot hit my stomach; it hadn’t even healed from the previous assault. As even another foot kicked my chin, I heard him.

“Oi! No kicking his face!”

_Trip._

I looked up to see his merciless face, then shouted: “Lady! Call the poli-Ugh!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it from here. You’re safe now.”

_Virus_

“W-what’s going on?!” I took a deep breath, “Send help, they’re murderers and rapists! Please, please! They’re going to take me back there.”

I looked up, and I saw Virus giving me a look of utter disgust. On the other side was Trip who looked away from the scene.

“It really is shocking how far criminals will go trying to escape. It’s good you called us before anything bad could happen.”

… _What?_

“This monster, how did he get away?! You promised he’d be securely locked away at your stay.”

The woman spoke…The woman had called Virus and Trip over here.

“See my face? He kicked me the second I let my guard down, it paralyzed me. Don’t misunderstand, we’re all lucky to be alive. He is a predator, and you’re lucky he decided not to violate you.”

My mouth was hitting the floor at this point. Unfair didn’t even begin to describe what was happening.

“I… h… see.” She looked at me, her eyes even more unnatural than my captors. “You’re a disgusting man, if I can even call you such a thing. Raping the corpse of a dead man- why, you ought to get the death penalty!”

She spat in my face. I felt it running down my cheek, smelling old and tobacco-like. With that, my sense of reality faded.

“Y-you fucking bitch!”

“Calm down.” Virus dragged me up, muttering behind my ear.

Some more of the braindead men surrounded me and assisted in incapacitating my hysteric body.

“F-Fucking deceiving, enabling bitch! I hope you choke on a cigarette and burn your throat. If not, I’ll kill you too, old hag!”

I meant to say I’d kill Virus and Trip first, but as the words escaped me, the meaning was twisted to fit their narrative. The pathetic woman started crying, Virus reassuring her it was ok, dragging me from my freedom in the process.

“When I escape, I’ll come back for you!” My throat went dry from the insane ramblings and hysteric sobbing, some of the zombie-men assisted Virus in gagging me. It didn’t stop me from screaming, it didn’t need words to communicate what I felt. All the people around me should burn in hell. I no longer cared about correcting this horrible framing, rage being the only thing keeping me from passing out.

“He won’t ever escape, rest assured. We’ll be gone tomorrow, alright? We thank you for your bravery and assistance for the greater good.”

Virus’ words echoed as my own tears choked me, the headache growing until I went numb.

No, I wasn’t going to give in now. I could see the door in the distance, but there were people gathered outside. Watching me. When had they been taken as mind-slaves, and what would happen when they were no longer needed? I’d shudder if I weren’t restrained and enraged.

I looked right in the eyes of the empty eyed man in front of me, holding out a mouth gag. His eyes were dead and grey, only identifying feature was his middle-length brown hair. Somehow, his movements seemed more human than the others, like someone was still inside his head. It happened so fast, I raised my head and focused my energy. The power I neglected to use earlier.

“ _Help me_ …”

He looked at me, the zombie flinching in a split second. I had my hopes up, then he took the gag around my mouth and disappeared into the mob.

“Save your energy” I heard Virus mutter.

The power didn’t work, my hopes had been higher since the man seemed to move normally. Now, I only felt my body go limp, reality left me alone as my eyes closed away this horrible reality.

 

 

* * *

 

 

I was on the same bed as earlier, sensing a headache from what I had recently learned. Virus seemed displeased, yet fidgety. He must’ve been anticipating this moment. He was sitting on the side of the bed, turning as I sat up. He moved in closer, sighing.

“Aoba san, I really didn’t want you to know about that.” He touched my forehead, “This was a test to see if you had finally learned your place. The environment was safe and the people were manipulated easily. Still, I was betting on you returning after unlocking the door. What a shame.”

“Is… there anything I can respond to here? Of all the things you’ve done, this even tops the box!”

“I won’t reeducate you on that, because you yourself know nothing could top such simple torture.”

He smiled, his eyes wavering like he was imagining doing it again.

“You forced me to watch him get killed while I begged and begged for you to stop.” I was barely able to breathe, “and now you’re making up these lies! H-how could you do that to me?! Y-you fucking monster.”  
“I see your language isn’t improving.”  
“Maybe listen to what I have to say!”

“Oh? And what are you going to say, Aoba san?”

“I won’t every love you afte-”

“Ok, I see.”

I had enough of Virus’ obnoxious dismissal, renewing my breath and shooting my hands forward to take a steady hold of his collar.

“And you don’t love me either, you wanted to exercise power, you’ve proven that enough times. This is cruel, even for you!”

“Now, now, Aoba san.” His tone changed drastically at the muttering of my name, giving me a clear sign to let go of his shirt.

“What can you do that hasn’t already been done?!” I said, only having his light blue eyes shimmering back, “you don’t scare me! Y-you don’t sca-“

I yelped as both his hands took hold of my shoulders and flung me off him. I took that as an opportunity to get off the bed and approach the door.

I was light on my feet, ignorantly optimistic about the door being open. Even with the physical lock attached under the handle, there was a second one which was for the key I no longer had. I scanned the room for a window, peering in all directions with desperation. Nothing. Virus must’ve been given some “special” room to hold a criminal. There was another door, leading to the bathroom. Virus had barely gotten up, observing my struggle in annoyance. He started to approach as I made eye contact with him.

“Let’s be rational here. Get back into the bed and we’ll talk this out like adults.”

I knew he wasn’t interested in a conversation. Virus’ intention was overt. My feet moved fast as he made his second step. It seemed like he realized what this meant, and the calm attitude changed into pursuit. Normally, Virus would’ve been able to catch up, but due to the generous proximity, I was able to slam the bathroom door in his face and hurriedly locked it just in time before he turned the handle. I sighed, feeling a false sense of control. At this second, he couldn’t reach me.

“Aoba san, you’re only making things harder for yourself. You’re a smart boy, which means you know the consequences.”

“I want you away from me!”

It was quiet for some seconds, then I heard a sigh through the door.

“If you need to use the bathroom, then fine. I can wait five minutes before I unlock the door.”

“P-please leave me alone…”

“I will for five minutes.”

I distanced myself. The first minute had likely passed when I finally got up, the silence from the other side made me sensitive to time. Even when my adrenaline slowed the perception of it, it still went by too fast.

I stepped inside the empty bathtub after checking for any razor blades laying around, unfortunately the only thing I saw were small bottles of lotion and a towel on the side. I moved the curtains to hide me away for the brief seconds of privacy. The fact that I still wore the clothes was also mildly comforting. Even though they were going to be ripped off soon, I was wearing clothes that didn’t belong to them.

I looked up at the showerhead, wondering if I could fill the tub and drown myself within the three remaining minutes, ultimately deciding against it. Even if I was able to pass out in the water, Virus would be able to save me in time.

Speaking of which, I heard him knock.

“Aoba san, I’m coming in now.” I heard the door unlock.

I couldn’t breathe, feeling a primal urge to hide. I clutched the shower curtains as his shadow approached. This felt like a horror movie. No, this _was_ a horror movie.

He pushed the curtains away and revealed his stoic smile. He was obviously unsatisfied with my behavior.

“Did I push you too hard? My apologies, it wasn’t a rejection if that’s why you’re upset.”

My tears ran down my face, quivering as he touched me.

“You poor thing…” He said, speaking down to me, “Come to bed with me, Aoba san. I won’t punish you for this.”

I let out a plea as he bent towards me.

“Mhm… P-please…”

“You don’t have to be scared, Aoba san.”

“P-please kill me.”

“What?” He stopped smiling.

“Virus, I beg of you!”

He inched back, acting all disgusted for show.

“No. You’re stuck in this with us, Aoba san. I’ll let those words slide once due to your miserable state, but I will take further action if you keep requesting such asinine nonsense. You’re stronger than that.”

He took his hand in mine and helped me up from the tub like nothing had happened. I was too scared to contend, especially after showing my suicidal wish. Virus and Trip hated when I expressed it.

It was the second year. Trip had gotten careless with cutting me, and as he had his guard down, I leaned in on the knife as it rested on my neck. I still remember their disgust and anger as I woke up with bandages over my throat and restraints over my body. I remember how hard Virus backhanded me when I cried for failing.

“Aoba san, suicide is a cowardly way to solve your problems. We can talk about this later… but for now we’re getting on the bed.”

When both feet were out of the tub, he dragged me across the room. As we arrived, Virus pushed me onto the mattress.

“Ah!”

He got up over my body and gazed at me.

“You know I love you right?” He asked, kissing me gently.

No answers grazed his glare.

“No?” He asked, and I felt his lips again, they felt more dry than usual, maybe mine were jagged too…. “I love you, Aoba san. I know you’ll never take those words into your heart, but that won’t stop me from saying it.”

How uncharacteristically sentimental and sweet.

“What book did you read that from? Or did you see an actor say it in a movie this time?”

His eyes widened just slightly. _Haha, caught the bastard._

“You’re so sharp, aren’t you? Of course I want to seduce you, but that doesn’t mean my words aren’t real. I adore you, so beautiful…”

I waited as he played around with my hair. Growing impatient the longer he caressed my body.

“What do you want from me?”

“Well, if you need to know what I expect from you, then alright,” He withdrew his hand and put one hand on my thigh, “I want you to lie still, spread your legs and take your arms around my neck. No screaming or asking me to stop. That’s easy, isn’t it?”

“I’m… in pain.”

“I brought some more of that moistur-”

“Mentally.”

“Oh, Aoba san…” He smiled, glasses shimmering over his cold eyes, “You’re with friends, lovers, family, aren’t you? You are surrounded by people who love you.”

Anguish was the only emotion I derived as he invoked such words. I couldn’t help but squirm like a fish, trying to get out of his arms. Of course, there was no way to overpower Virus and I only drove myself into deeper trouble.

He sighed, closing his eyes, “Let’s be gentle towards each other, okay? Cooperate with me, just this once. I’ll make you forget everything.”

It was like he was a wave that flung itself on top of me, dragging me down to the bottom of the ocean. It was strong enough to make me disregard his unforgivable torture. His body lied on mine, suffocating me softly with his weight and lips.  

“Aoba san?” He asked, seeking attention, “Spread your legs a bit more.”

I felt his body slide more over mine as he positioned himself between me. He gave another kiss, this time trailing down the side of my neck.

“Agh! m…hh.” Despite his command, I tried closing my thighs.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Virus suddenly mused.

“W-what is?”

“How it feels so vulgar to see you wear clothes.”

His hand grasped at the shirt, almost tearing a button off with the reckless grip. He lifted it up until my body stopped the fabric, then he tore it right open.

“A-“

“Fufu, did I surprise you?”

Surrendering myself to his game, I brought both hands up and pulled his head down to mine. It was odd, his head felt so light at that moment, like I controlled it.

“Aoba sa-?”

I shut his poisonous mouth up, trying to keep dialogue to a minimum. He had talked enough today.

“mh” He lightly moaned, likely perplexed at my “willingness” to kiss him. I wondered if his eyes were wide open or shut tightly as he moved his tongue without hesitation.

I jumped a little at the feeling of his cock hardening under his pants, sighing in frustration over my own arousal.

“Are you scared of me, Aoba san?” He chuckled in my ear, enjoying every second of this, “Right now, there’s no need to be, I feel rather relived actually. We’re close to our substitute home, and then… no one can find us ever again.”

“N-no-”

“Yes, Aoba san. We clearly still have to make progress regarding your behavior, but we can be softer on you in the process.”

His lips kissed away the rolling tear, and his hips were grinding unconsciously against mine.

“Why…” I muttered to the open air.

“Hm?” Virus made a half-hearted groan through his kissing.

“You’ve convinced the whole world I raped and mutilated an old man… and now… you’re about to…”

I started sobbing with grossly large sounds, covering my face with unsteady fingers; all the easier for Virus to remove.

“Aoba san, some old hag isn’t the whole world.”

His stare took me by surprise; the warm relief by horror.

“You’ve said it to more people, haven’t you?”

“No one of importance, and it wouldn’t matter. You only need me, Aoba san.” He took the opportunity to steal a light kiss, compromising my resolve, “You only have me, and I will do everything to keep you here and have you depend on me in every way possible. That’s a promise.”

Virus’ blunt attitude made me long for his sweeter, fake personality. This was to much for me.

“S-stop.”

Virus grew more reserved again, likely to keep me from having a panic attack.

“Don’t cry, Aoba san. I’ll always be there to deliver. If you’d only learnt to rely on us faster, your life wouldn’t be so miserable.”

He moved his head down and licked my collarbones. Instead of resisting, I weakly muttered:

“Then say it.”

“Say what, Aoba san?” He asked, still having a firm hold on my wrists.

“That I didn’t kill him.” I gave out in a breathy voice.

“Of course you didn’t kill him, only a mindless fool would believe such a thing. Sadly, most people are mindless fools.” Yet another kiss against my lips before he proceeded, “You have done nothing wrong, but the world is cruel and doesn’t care. I however, do.”

“Again.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong”

“Again!”

“You’re innocent.”

I gripped his back, nearly shouting: “Again!”

“You’re in the right.”

“ _Again!_ ” I exclaimed, sensing contortion of my vocal chords, vision lessening with the popping of veins.

Unconsciously, I had used scrap.

I looked up at his face, scared of his reaction. Virus’ face became even sweeter, drying my tears as he said…

“I love you…”

“Mfh…” His body entwined itself in mine, if we continued our body parts would surely tie themselves together. I couldn’t breathe when we were like this.

“Agh…” I moaned, grasping for air, “Why… do you ‘love’ me so much?”

“How could I not? There’s no way I could imagine life without you.”

“Heh…” A confused laugh hit my throat, and with an empty head I said the worst thing possible given the situation. “Are you trying to tempt me into committing suicide?”

Without time to react, his hands weighed down on my wrists in a bruising grip. The gentle feelings eradicated with his hard stare in the dim light. I tried wriggling away by pure instinct, but the way he was positioned on the bed made it impossible. Not to speak of his eyes.

“Are you playing _that_ game now, Aoba san?” He asked, a tone more serious than before, “You know what happens if we suspect you’re a danger to yourself, right?”

“I know! It was a tasteless joke. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you slipped up and revealed the last escape resort?”

“I promise! Virus, please…”

“The suit made to restrict you is in the car. It’s the first thing we brought along with us. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you wear it. I can go get it right now, you’d look beautiful in it.”

“Of course I’d choose you over death, Virus!”

While still alert, his hands eased the pressure and slowly Virus’ eyes narrowed.

“Say it again.”

“a-a… I’d choose you over death.”

He let go of my wrists, one hand palming my cheek, the other tracing my side, “That’s all I needed to hear, Aoba san…”

He dragged the loose pants off with both hands, taking another kiss in the process. I ignored his gaze over my naked body, gulping when he gripped my erection.

“W-Wait!”

“Why?”

“Maybe Trip would like to join-“

“I’m sure he would.” He stated with a hard hold on my dick.

“Y-yes?” I said with one eye open.

He seemed to entertain the idea, but that illusion was cut off when his mouth opened.

“You can’t escape, Aoba san.”

“Huh- gh!” I jumped as he stroked with a very forceful hand. He smiled innocently.

“You think you can call Trip here and stall for time?” He gripped my chin forcefully, smiling even more as he looked at me, “So you’re truly afraid of me?”

I shivered again, not sure what to do, “Of course I’m afraid of you.”

“Well, it’s unfortunate Trip can’t be here to comfort you. Guess you’ll have to be a bit scared.” He licked some of the sweat off my neck, “You’re exclusively mine tonight. Trip is not here now, he might as well not exist.”

There didn’t seem to be any malice in his words, but it was chilling to hear Virus speak in such a manner regardless.

He dragged his hand up my thigh, the other still touching me.

“Aoba san, I really want you to cooperate with me tonight. It would do us both good to have some calming sex, wouldn’t you agree?”

I didn’t want to answer that, luckily I didn’t have to as he lowered his lips onto mine. He moved even more over me to position himself, finally letting go of my overstimulated cock. Virus managed to catch me off guard as I felt his dick touch mine. With both of our members in his hand, he started stroking us both. I blushed profusely at the unexpected turn, usually he would be plowing into me at this point.

When Virus took my wrist, I whined slightly. “W-wha…”

“Let’s start off by doing this together.” He said.

Oh, of course. I tried swallowing my dignity as always, reaching slowly. Not sure if I should touch his hand or not, I tried touching somewhere he wasn’t- in turn he guided my hand under his, making me flinch again. It felt so weird to do this, even after all the sexual experiences I’ve had with him there was something strange about this.

He moved his hand over mine, forcing me to follow into a slow rhythm. He seemed collected, maybe slightly heated.

“That’s a good boy. Let’s go slightly faster, ok?”

“Ghm…” I grunted out in response.

His hand was over mine, wanting to educate my fingers to move over him; me… us? I chose to ignore the intimacy lying in this shared effort. Wait… this must be like when they’re both in me, only tighter.

“H-haha.” I smirked wider than intended as the slick movements continued.

“Aoba san?”

Virus seemed happy for my laughter, ending as I explained, “I get why you let Trip do this to you.”

His face contorted, visibly caught off guard. I wondered if it was anger or embarrassment. It was pretty funny, either way.

“Oh please. The only reason we… assemble like that is to receive a pleasurable reaction from you,” He clutched his hand hard around our dicks, almost with unbearable pressure. The loss of control mixed with overstimulation gave both my legs spasms.

“Gh-!”

“M… This is close what it feels like, the only thing that makes it bearable are your adorable cries. I assure we’ve both got eyes for you exclusively. If you ever feel jealous for knowing we’re both inside you it’s very endearing to see you have a possessive side.”

“Well, gh! I only-mh have your love, so is it so strange?” If I wasn’t so stimulated, my face would’ve looked shocked at what I said, because it was true.

“Haha, really? You’ve got no idea how much I’ve yearned to hear that from you.” Virus stated with a gentler grip, returning to a more calming state. He looked happier than usual.

I looked to the side, trying to sink into the pillows, but Virus turned my head back.

“As always, please look at what you’re doing.”

“Mghh…” I downright pouted.

I tried mirroring his methods, but in contrast Virus’ hands didn’t hesitate. More blatant shame swelled within me as the arousal heightened.

And then, I felt a finger enter my ass. I jumped slightly, it was so abrupt and impatient. I held my breath and looked at his gleaming eyes.

“Apologies, did I frighten you again?” His voice was soft, complimenting the cruel words.

“…Gh.” Was everything he got in response.

His fingers moved within my walls, sparing no moments, going straight to my spots. It was uncanny how good he was at it.

“I knew you’d do a fine job, Aoba san.”

His words rang disoriented in my head. I wasn’t sure what he meant until he let go of our dicks. Taking it as a cue, I retracted my hand as well.

“Now, be a good boy and spread your legs.”

“Mhh…” I shivered, taking them apart from each other as he kept fingering me slowly.

He kept rubbing inside me, looking intrusively at my crotch. I felt completely exposed. Virus took his finger out as he finally seemed satisfied.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him rubbing his dick against my hole, feeling the lewd sensation was enough to send shivers through my body. It wasn’t left unnoticed by him as he lightly withdrew.

“Aoba san, do you want it?”

I nodded in desperation, but even in my heated state it was fear that drove me to confirm his devilish words.

Any part of me that was scared evaporated as Virus slammed his cock into my ass. The noisy sound made it appear harsh, but there were no painful feelings given to me as I was filled to the brim with his warmth. It was those small moments I could indeed believe he loved me. He took some of my hair in his mouth, muttered something I didn’t catch, but the warmth from his tone made me believe it was mindless adoration.

He started to rock me gently against the bed, giving me a sweet throbbing sensation that melted all my suffering away.

“C-Curse you, Virus.” I bit my lips, not thinking straight.

“Mh… What’s the matter?” He answered, staring at me absentmindedly, likely too engulfed in his own pleasure to react.

“You’ve A..gh… turned me into… a nymphomaniac.”

He gave me a curious glance accompanied with a smile, “If that’s the case, I will be there to satisfy your desires.”

Virus sped up his movements, sometimes varying his rhythm by giving sudden deep thrusts, making me tear up from the ecstatic sensations. I wondered how his glasses stayed on. He leaned in to lick every drop off my cheek, moaning as he went harder again. His tongue made its way all over my body- from my nipples to my ears, the cold air giving contrast from all the heat we were bathing in.

“Aoba san… I’m the only one who can make you feel this way, aren’t I?”

He suddenly stopped, prompting me to moan out in annoyance. I tried moving by myself, but he took my hips and shoved me onto the base of his dick, keeping me there. I looked at him, almost mad he’d prevent me from experiencing the pleasure.

“Aoba san?”

“What?!” I snapped, immediately worried after doing so.

Luckily, Virus didn’t seem offended in the least, rather smiling in amusement. He traced my collarbone with his index finger, asking in a breathy voice:

“Is there anyone else who can make you feel this way?”

I held up resolve, was this a trick question? He likely wanted me to submit to his ego as well, but just to balance it out…

“Mh… Maybe Trip could as well? But only you two could do this to me…to my body.” I added in the last three words to appease him. Who knows what he’d take from my answer otherwise, and I didn’t want to give a backhanded compliment. Not with this linguistic bastard.

“That makes me very happy, Aoba san…”

I awaited another sweet thrust, but he remained still inside me, taunting the itch.

“However…” He said, his expression smiling with a sadistic flare, “I still need to confirm that your… friends aren’t better than me.”

My eyes widened at the horrible realization… he wasn’t going to make me say… he wouldn’t… not even Virus would-

“Like Koujaku, was that his name?” He suddenly moved harshly, enough to make me moan before stopping.

I channeled my disgust through a harsh glare.

“We’ve got all night, I’ve already caught enough sleep to carry on without it for a couple of days. Unless you want to stay like this for hours, I suggest you answer.”

“You’re… better.”

“Better than whom? Be specific so I can understand.” His eyes narrowed, focusing all attention on my face. “And look at me as you do so.”

As if to remind me we were having sex, he slammed into me again.

“Agh! You’re better than… Koujaku.” It felt like I dirtied his name by speaking of him here, especially when I was still hard.

“Thank you, Aoba san. Now, about your other friends…”

“M-My other friends? You’ve only met two of them.”

“Darling, dearie… I looked up your past years ago.”

His excessive use of pet names unnerved me, it was impossible to tell if he meant it as insults.

“There’s of course Mizuki who never left the hospital, Clear who was reassembled for science, Mink who died attacking Toue and Noiz who disappeared shortly after you did. Your allmate might be fine, though.”

He chuckled, so malicious in my ears. It seemed it was enough for me to snap.

“Y-You’re better than all of them. You’re so much better at being an evil piece of shit.”

I raised my head, tempted to spit in his face, glaring with hopes he’d drop dead then and there. _How dare he bring up my past relationships with my friends and family?_

“So you still care about them… I’ll admit it’s admirable to see you defend your past friends.”

“Why even bring them up? You said this would be nice and calming…” I resigned into the pillow, shedding a single tear that tickled my chin.

Virus didn’t speak for a while, stroking my face in what seemed like remorse. He moved a bit inside me, getting me more into the mood. I let it happen, not wanting to contemplate what had happened to the people I were forced to leave behind. I wanted to think they were all safe and happy.

“I did… This is strange, isn’t it? Maybe there’s something weird inside me as well. I can’t seem to… understand why you love them so.” Virus said tenderly.

“Oh? Want to understand love now? I thought you knew all about that, considering you love to flaunt that word around my presence.”

Virus stared blankly, as if emptied of interest.

“I understand what it’s like to love _you_ , Aoba san.” He kept his unnerving attitude as he continued, twirling a lock of my hair in the process and thrusting lightly, “But that’s about it…”

Was Virus reaching out to me? Impossible… Maybe he was slowly going insane.

“Then… I guess it’s like that but without the sexual interest.”

“I see.” Virus was attentive as he finally started to move faster again.

“Ag-h.”

“I won’t bring them up again.”

“Huh?” Even though my eyes were half-lidded, the surprise in them must have shown.

Instead of answering, he kept focusing on making my body sizzle with his hot cock practically shredding my tightness open. It was the good type of pain for once, not the mental torment I went through seconds ago. Was that also some type of power demonstration to prove himself? Removing the pain he just caused, what a hero indeed.

I hated him, but loved him. It wasn’t in some quirky way either. Truly, I wanted him to die, but at the same time…

“Aoba san, are you enjoying yourself? Fufu.”

I cursed under my breath as everything became whiter. I could barely comprehend my surroundings as his dick silkily pumped itself back and forth. The slick, wet, burning sensation made its way through my lower body. At this point, incapacitated from the bittersweet feelings I was given. This felt so good, despite everything. Even the exhaustion and sorrow blended itself into the sweet pleasure, like delicious spice. It was a new feeling. Too abstract to explain. My pain was becoming erotic. It didn’t hurt, though. I felt Virus inside me, and the idea alone made me drip with pleasure. It occurred to me that this wasn’t a _physical_ feeling.

This was scary. It took minutes making me surrender. It was terrifying that I didn’t care. What creature is this man?

“Some ah! uh… type of… Incubus? …” I groaned into the mist clouding my eyes. My words were unintelligible to outside ears.

That must be it. He’s a demon and I’m enjoying my stay in hell.

“Mh… What did you say?”

I did wonder sometimes. Had Trip punched me too hard and punctured my lungs. Had I suffocated, died and awoken in a hell where Virus and Trip were after images? More and more, I’m being punished for my sins. I remember church, the kind caretaker, reading about hell. The punishment for murder… Does destroying someone’s mind count as murder?

“I-Is this hell? Why doesn’t it hurt?!” I tightened my grip on Virus, prompting a small flinch.

“h… Who knows. I don’t think you deserve to be there if that’s the case.” Through my hazy vision, Virus continued to speak with a devilish grin, “I’ll send you to heaven, don’t worry.”

“Ah!” I whined as he bit me within a luscious hold.

Why was my mind straying into philosophy at times like these? I’m alive, very alive as Virus grabbed my hips and lifted me to slam deeper. Fuck… Hell could never feel so good. No sensation felt as good as his lips on my neck; his slow groans and quiet shuddering: his bright, sinful eyes. I couldn’t believe someone like this was human. Too cruel, too amazing.

“a-AH! Fuck, Virus.” I cried.

“Gh… shit, Aoba san!” Virus moaned, stripped of his usual demeanor.

Was that hag able to hear the bed creaking from here? Virus was such a bad influence, moving like he did. He was empty of reason, reduced like me. Nonetheless, his biting and tugging was controlled like second nature.

“I love you Aoba san…” He watched me, pushing his lips on mine afterwards.

He grabbed my dick, thrusting at a ridiculous pace as he sucked on my hair. This was too much for me.

“I’ll…”

He grunted, “I know, you don’t have to ask.”

Virus silenced more moans from my mouth, bringing me to the edge in a harsh explosion. All my nerves were entangled and fucked up as I came on my stomach.

“I’ll allow myself to wrap this up for now. I planned on… agh… abusing you more and longer… but you’ve gone through enough already.”

He showed mercy as he sped up. My voice hitched as he released his heat inside me. I felt it linger there as Virus slowly pulled out of me. His hair was messy and his face was sweaty from the rough fucking.

“Ah…” I wheezed, exhausted in every definition of the word.

My stomach was moving frantically from the assault. Head was spinning too. So many emotions were inside me, it was too much.

“Aoba san, come over here.” He gently spoke.

I had barely noticed that he had lied down beside me. Virus pulled me close to him. My heart was speeding up, but it wasn’t fear. Even after every horrible act of torture… my heart melted as he cuddled up to me.

“We fit together so nicely like this, Aoba san.” He chuckled deeply.

“Right now, I agree with you.” I said burying my head deeper in the crook of his neck. He really did smell nice.

Nice enough for me to forget everything.

He hugged me tighter, showing a very pure affection. I… liked it. Really liked it.

“I fully acknowledge what I’ve put you through,” His attitude changed, his hand brushed away some strands, “This wasn’t planned. Your punishments for disobeying are finished, rest assured. We very much appreciate your sacrifices. Our love will hurt as long as you reject it, if you keep this behavior up, we’ll treat you like the treasure you are.”

This was coercion, but even so it felt so good as he kissed my ear. Virus might believe those words as well… he knew how damaging this was, but did he need to justify it to himself? It seemed like it.

“Virus, I can’t afford to hate you. I doubt I ever did.” I admitted to both myself and him.

“Aoba san…”

“But please, don’t tell more people that I…”

“Such people aren’t worth caring about. They’re stupid for ever believing you could do such a thing. Especially in this state.”

“But didn’t you say most people were fools?” I asked.

Instead of an answer, his lips pressed against my forehead. Hands were grazing me like soft ripples in the water. If he went any rougher, he’d tear my soul apart.

Yet again, tears streamed down my cheeks in remembrance of my old friends. It had occurred to me I couldn’t recall their faces anymore.

To my surprise, Virus didn’t comment on it with feigned pity or mockery. He put me up against him, letting me cry it out against his shirt. He hushed me quietly, but didn’t speak a word until I calmed down.

“Aoba san, if it makes you feel any better, we didn’t use your real name.” I held my arms around his waist, clinging onto him more as he embraced me in return, “Any potential survivors of Toue will never hear your name in that context.”

“But why would you do it, if it wasn’t to hurt me?”

“We decided to utilize our authority by leaving the body and framing you as the criminal. That way, it would make complete sense that you’d be restrained and kept from the public eye.”

“Cold.”

“Fufu, I have to be. If I didn’t have that quality, there’s no telling where I’d be.”

“Where do you think I’d be?” I confronted him.

“Dead.”

“I would have stopped him. My family would be reunited an-”

“Killed.” Virus cut me off, nihilism overflowing from his mouth, “Your god-like powers may have helped you slightly, but even with your small group of friends, Toue would’ve easily murder them all.”

“Which happened anyway.”

“You survived. If we hadn’t whisked you away, the procedures and tests would’ve destroyed you.”

“Like what happened to you?” I mocked.

Virus seemed almost hurt at that moment, staring into the air as if recalling his own broken childhood.

I broke the silence, “…I’m sorry.” I didn’t know why this was different from the other times I tried hurting him, but this time it felt different.

“Don’t pity my pain, Aoba san. I’ve been very rough on you, after all.” He put on his stoic smile and stroked my hair behind my ear as he chuckled.

“Yes, that’s right. I’m insane for feeling anything, but you two…” I stopped, feeling something else, “Where’s Trip been the past two days? I… miss him.”

Grotesque relief rushed through me as I admitted more of my denied feelings.

“Miss him? Interesting.” Strangely, his smile seemed to fade.

“It’s not interesting. It’s disgusting.” I looked at Virus with tears burning through my eyesockets, “What do you think the problem is here? My _darling_ Virus.”  
I needed to giggle. I wanted there to grow mouths over my veins that drained my blood from their laughing orifices.

“Aoba san? You should get some rest.”

“Don’t you fucking get it?”

I felt nothing but grief. There was no use brushing off what I felt. The two times I tried to escape, relief had washed over me when they caught me. I hadn’t been with Trip as much as usual the last two days, and that was enough for me to miss him. Even with Virus framing me as a murderer engaging in necrophilia, purely for his own convenience, I still loved him. He had tortured me both mentally and physically and I still moaned in pleasure when he fucked me into the mattress.

I had to do something about this horrifying situation. I was going to put an end to these emotions, even if it _killed_ me.

“Get what, Aoba san?”

Looking at him with swollen eyes, I sighed,

“Both of you…”

Virus tried to listen to my whispers, “I couldn’t catch that. Please repeat yourself.” He stated, no idea I was about to confess.

“...I love you, Virus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, Virus is a horrible person. Aoba is starting to become braver. Bad combination. 
> 
> Having Aoba framed as a sadistic killer would give Virus a reason to restrain him in public. I think it would make sense for him to do such a thing, especially in this context. Tried to make Virus act a bit better towards Aoba this time other than that horrible action. Like he can't decide whether to reward or punish him during sex. Aoba admits his feelings for Virus and Trip. This is not a good thing. He still hates them, after all.


	15. Suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virus looks back at everything that's taken place, while distrusting Aoba at the same time. Trip keeps acting against him as well, and Virus was starting to feel powerless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still a bit slow with updates, but this one came together faster for once. I felt it was necessary to write from Virus' perspective again and show how he's growing unstable. The tension is only getting worse.

The metal had quietly encompassed his neck. Aoba san should rest up, and it would be preferable if he stayed in his own head for now. I moved to his feet, cuffing the legs too. He let out a whimper, a rather apparent one, however his heart rate testified to unconsciousness. The immediate chains should be enough to hinder unforeseen movements, but after _those_ words of his I couldn’t help but cuff Aoba san’s arms as well.

I looked at his sleeping form; secured, beautiful.

The duvet on his side made me smile. He thought something like that was enough to keep me from catching up. Really, I thought it was _too_ obvious when I placed the keys. Part of me theorized he purposely sought punishment. Poor, poor Aoba san, insisting on making life so hard for himself. If only he’d come back into my arms instead of going outside, then the trauma of public opinion would’ve remained nonexistent. I sure hope he could take a lesson from this.

I touched my eye. Resourceful, I’d give him that. Using a bottle as a weapon was ridiculously cute. Nonetheless, the mark would be visibly inconvenient. If Aoba san had done that back home, he would’ve been in for some discipline. He was lucky he’d already been punished once retrieved.

I walked away from the bed and into the bathroom. I needed to take a shower after all the sex we had. I didn’t feel fully satisfied, but the environment had been unpleasant and inconvenient enough to cut it short. I closed the door to the bath, checked twice if Hersha was activated first. Aoba san’s words lingered in my mind, pounding persistently.

_I love you, Virus._

Turning on the shower induced me to drift. I should be happy, but only suspicion found room within me. When I said I loved him, it was overt. Aoba san could say he loved me today and take it back tomorrow. He had the consistency of a child. In fact, in my very stead he aptly begged for death earlier. How disgustingly telling.

I didn’t want to make myself susceptible to emotional instability, not in the middle of evading Toue. Of all the times he could form those strings of words, he chose to do it now. Aoba san had proved himself to be quite callous. I felt myself chuckle. The shampoo was applied automatically, too annoyed to enjoy the daily ritual. Feeling the water run around me, I let out a sigh.

I felt very little emotion, that was an advantage when climbing social ladders or ridding myself of pests. There was security in that, effectiveness as well. Around Aoba san I was granted the ability to understand more pertaining to useless feelings. In the beginning, it was a relief to finally possess the one thing I wanted. It didn’t matter if said thing screamed or cried. Aoba san belonged to me. Every inch of his body; every strand of his hair. All mine to love, tease and play with. His naïve understanding of the predicament, to the desperate pleas for release. It was all so exciting. I had to stop that train of thought, getting too tempted to storm out and ravish him. At first, I planned on being gentle with his assimilation, but the sobbing, misery and sorrow became overwhelming. Instead of fighting it, I was sensible and embraced his hopelessness. It was almost therapeutic, so fulfilling to see him fight his distress.

I loved how he always failed.

The shower curtains swayed as water fell to the side, a reminder to steady my drowsy head. I hadn’t folded it back completely after Aoba san’s meltdown. It brought remembrance of his face when he fainted in the Oval Tower. I still remembered. The day after we caught him, we brought him to bed. For the first two weeks, we didn’t do more than light touching. Starting with kissing for the first days, and when he no longer cried out we proceeded with a hand job, thereafter fingering. I knew Trip wouldn’t hold back much longer, so I decided to make it easier and be the one to take Aoba san’s virginity.

It was a remarkably fascinating moment when I entered him for the first time. I had never felt more fulfilled yet conflicted. Even though I pitied him, it felt so good to feel his very heart shatter under me. It looked like his life had ended; mine however, had started anew. I was in love.

It was interesting. It was perfectly natural for humans to take and receive. Aoba san learned that the hard way. He couldn’t stop crying, making it a pain to return the pleasure given. Even so, I kept pausing, staying still and comforted him, sooner or later, he came. It was important to give back, after all. I had shielded the frustration as he wholly tried abhorring the experience we shared. He was made to give up everything, so his reaction was expected. That, too, was erotic. Aoba san was forced to abandon everything to be with us. I’d never forget his unwilling investment.

Yet, he reminded me of more inconvenient emotions. The unhealthy ones. It would be strangely painful to leave him on the floor all alone, but it was necessary. It hurt to hear him scream, but it was satisfying. So many hidden feelings I hadn’t known. In times like those, I was always unsure of what to think. It didn’t override any pleasure, but it lingered in the back of my mind like a headache. Aoba san made all that possible, for better or worse. Accepting his alleged feelings might amplify aspects of this. Furthermore, I simply didn’t buy it. Earlier he was screaming of his hatred of me. I’d let him enjoy his hateful rants while he still could. Things were about to become much stricter. If we were home, I’d indulge in his more positive words and praise him regardless of credibility. Now, I could only muster up a reluctant kiss, staying with him until he had sunken into his dreams. Aoba san had been adorable when he cuddled up to me willingly earlier, maybe that’s why I hid the skepticism. I’d play along, just for tonight.

Aoba san would use my love to his advantage. I wouldn’t let him, that’s why I deflected with, “If you do love me, I hope you’ll keep telling me that and cooperate more.” I realized the idealistic wish wasn’t plausible, and instead of encouraging Aoba san, I had turned him off with the demand. To be fair, it was reasonable. I couldn’t leave myself open to being hurt. I didn’t want to lose control like last time. Any unnatural twitching from his arm felt like a hit against my person. I almost wanted to punish him for it. That was no good. Aoba san was to be cherished, now and forever. Hurting him had been a sign of weakness and incompetence.

I would admit it was practical to have Aoba san fear me. It stopped him from acting up too much. It did ruin a lot of the work I had built up, but it was better than risking Aoba san falling into Toue’s hands. That old man started to piss me off. He had so many things to experiment on, always gifted the best resources, and he’d break them. He couldn’t maintain Sei san, going after Aoba san instead. Toue was in over his head. Before, I was only indifferent to his practices, but now that I had been freed from his presence, Toue was becoming daunting.

If the opportunity was there, I wouldn’t think twice about ending his life. There was one thing I related to Aoba san on. Once, I too couldn’t accept my environment. Death wasn’t a daily occurrence, but every now and then someone disappeared. Only one person I knew of was ever able to escape the facility, he was much older though, and likely of little importance. A brave thing to do, considering the penalty for desertion was death for children over his age group. I decided to be smart and act the part, which is likely why we’re still alive.

The more I had recalled, the more disgust spread through me. I rarely thought of useless things like this, but… who would I have been if Toue hadn’t taken me? Likely very mundane, but Aoba san had always seemed somewhat content, nothing like Sei san. Well, idiotic speculation got me nowhere. This life couldn’t be compared to the life of a regular human’s. It was better. I had money, a partner, and a lover who could never leave. If I met Toue again, I’d thank him sincerely before ending him.

I got dressed and sat on the bench beside me. It was the typical type made of wood. My hair was still dripping. I looked unkempt. However, the commotion upstairs could excuse it to a passerby. One of the keys in my pocket was for the cabinet. I took it out and used it to retrieve the gun I placed there, huddled within razorblades, drugs of various strengths and morphine equipment. I had been gifted a black holster that was concealed under the pants back at the facility, at the time there was no need to conceal a gun, but I kept it in case of an emergency. I had familiarized myself with weapons long before we moved away from Japan, so I was confident whenever I had a gun under my belt. It had been practical some days ago, that was for sure. Luckily it was rarely used. It wasn't even loaded at the moment, didn't bother, but I still kept bullets in my pocket in case something were to happen.

My coil suddenly vibrated within the dark room, and with a tired mind I unlocked the lengthy password screen, (Proofed from Aoba san) before answering Trip.

“Yes, so you made sure the hag and any other prying eyes were appeased?” My venomous voice was put on display.

“Hi. Yeah, yeah. Can I go see Aoba now?”

I didn’t bother, “Yes, you may do so. Don’t wake him up, he’s tired.”

“You’re in a good mood.”

I shook my head, trying to stay collected.

“You’re lucky I’m letting you in.” I said, his sarcastic attitude was irksome.

“Why? Wasn’t it supposed to be my turn any-”

I hung up.

This discussion was over. He should be grateful I hadn’t abandoned him after he put all of us in danger. Just recalling it aggravated me. I remembered what could only be described as disgusting pigs laying their hands on Aoba san. Never had I been more tempted to end a person’s life. However, it was better to let the snake track down their trail discreetly rather than risking something with value dying.

At the time, I was tired, so I barely remembered what happened after pursuing Aoba san. It was a race against time in the cold climate and my mind was foggy. The last thing I remembered was Aoba san screaming my name with a look of utter terror. It was strange, even though we maintained eye contact it didn’t seem like he looked at me. A massive amount of tension and pain fell over me, and I had fainted on top of his freezing body.

When my consciousness had returned, I felt thoroughly drained and sensitive- almost defiled. Hersha had coiled around me with his temperature at maximum to maintain my body heat. Artificial Intelligence was an impressive thing.

As I backtracked, I had met Trip halfway down the road. We didn’t ask questions and simply returned to the car. I had collapsed beside Aoba san and slept for a solid 24 hours after the unnecessary event. I still didn’t know what had taken place. Was I simply dreamless for three hours for no reason? Fatigue? That didn’t seem feasible in the least. It couldn’t have been scrap. I was almost positive he tried using it, but it was impossible for him to succeed. It didn’t matter, it was in the past now. However, if further symptoms were to present themselves, it was going to be revised later.

After drying my hair, I stepped back into the main room. Aoba san hadn’t changed his sleeping position and didn’t seem sweaty or fidgety. I walked to him, looking at his face. It was redder than usual. Strange. It would be a stretch to say it was that rough for him tonight. Unless… recalling what had happened earlier, his state made more sense.

Poor Aoba san. Never able to learn, never able to adapt. He could blame us, but the one who really tortured him was no one but himself.

Aoba san twitched just then.

“Aoba san?” I whispered, just in case.

No movements were made, pulse hadn’t increased. He was still unconscious. Likely having a nightmare. Some of his dreams were brutal. Allegedly, he had even experienced being maimed and tortured by his friends in horrific ways. A fascinating concept he kept hidden until pressed about, post-screaming at midnight. I planned to use that. His susceptibility to suggestion wasn’t getting lower, after all. Giving ideas, placing false memories in his head. Maybe it was wrong; maybe it would make him more dependent on us emotionally. I’d be willing to do almost anything for Aoba san at this point. Not whatever he _wanted_ , of course, but anything that made him just a little bit more open towards us. He could cry all he wanted in the process if that helped him. We’d be there to comfort him.

Should probably head out now. Make sure no attention was drawn here and clear up any holes in my story. Fundamental stuff. But Trip had to arrive first. Paranoia, I suppose, but I didn’t want to leave Aoba san alone for too long. Not in this climate.

When Trip finally arrived, I had almost drifted off by the door. Not too happy to act as damage control for the few conscious witnesses. Trip couldn’t be entrusted with that task. He was too unfocused to possibly fabricate a complex narrative regarding our presence. The only reassurance was knowing he could keep Aoba san safe. Yet even that was fading. I stepped outside, preventing his entry through the doorframe.

It was ajar, just enough to hear if Aoba san were to act up. It did pose a risk if he were to scream, but since his insanity was common knowledge it wouldn’t draw suspicion.

“Did you speak with anyone prior to coming?”

“No, no. Been watching for people outside, no talking.” He spoke as if there wasn’t a care in the world. Fool.

“Good. And keep in mind, you’re not here to have fun with Aoba san. You’ll babysit him while I’m tidying up the mess.”

“Haha, ‘babysit’?” He said.

“Yes. Are you listening?”

He slammed with the door, not even knocking. How surprising.

“Is Aoba in bed?” He said with an obnoxious voice as he hid away his keys.

“Quiet. Let him stay asleep.”

If words hadn’t gotten through, my annoyance must have. He learnt to simmer down and took a seat.

“So…” He started, quietly contemplating something, “Let’s say… you know, he wakes up himself… Like, can I then-”

“No.”

“Quiet. You’ll wake him up.”

Let’s be direct; Trip is infuriating. Just follow one order. One. That’s all he needed to do to satisfy my demands.

“If he wakes up, try making him fall asleep again.”

“What if he doesn’t want to?”

“I guarantee he does.” I paused for a bit… “If he doesn’t, make him.”

Trip’s hunger for him was getting pathetic. How much did Aoba san even care for him? I doubt he ever told Trip he loved him. Couldn’t blame him.

“I think Aoba likes me.”

Oh? Interesting.

Trip rested his chin against the undersized table, looking like a child as he sat within speculation.

“Did he say he loved you?”

“Pff…” Trip was amused at that, “When has he ever said that to any of us?”

I shouldn’t contribute to the tension, but breaking Trip’s attitude started to take priority.

“Aoba san actually did. He said it to me. Me alone. Not ‘us’. Aoba san said: ‘I love you, Virus,’” As I spoke, Trip’s emotional response seemed ambivalent. But it was enough to brighten my mood, “Anyway, let him rest. We already had fun, yes?”

It was petty to boast in such a manner, but in the moment, I couldn’t help it. I closed the door with a slam slightly too loud. It would be really stupid if that woke up Aoba san.

 

* * *

 

 

After turning every corner of the building, it was safe to assume no eyes had been prying around our business. That old woman had seemed too distraught about her own small drawbacks to notice the empty-headed men around her, but I had still inquired about the subject after Aoba san had knocked himself out with the screaming. The woman had specifically asked: “Why haven’t you killed him yet? He doesn’t deserve a trial.” It was almost sad that she slightly resembled Aoba san’s grandmother. As expected, no one had understood those men possessed scrambled brains, nor that the murderous killer was a helpless victim all along. The expedient was cause for much pride on my part as I walked outside the hotel.  

Overall, sitting in the dead of night alone made me think of this prosperous evening. Both evading Toue and fooling bystanders had been such a breeze. Ridiculous. Hopefully, we could return to our old home soon enough. Some type of “vacation” was appealing, however. I’d been thinking of staying somewhere akin to a rural area. Make it a year away from the outskirts of a semi-deserted town. With all the money on our hands, we could afford it. It was within possibility that Aoba san would soon be assimilated completely and having someplace desolate to walk him outside could be useful motivation. While highly doubtful, he may one day be able to walk somewhere public. Still, that was certainly a stretch goal.

I lit up another cigarette with minimum mind regarding health. It hadn’t been a routine to waste time smoking, but it took my mind off things. Nowhere near as effectively as wine did, but that wasn’t an option when driving. I had asked the old woman how long it was until we reached the outskirts, fortunately, it was just a week.

Even though all was going smoothly, I felt dissatisfied. Certain it wasn’t alcohol withdrawal, I had raked out every possibility until Aoba san came up. It was tiring enough to dedicate most of my time to someone with wanton need for my death, but it was predictable. He was predictable as a result. “I love you,” What the hell was that supposed to mean?

I crossed my legs and looked up at the sky. My hand still holding on to the remains of the smoke. Two things I had robbed him off right there. I couldn’t take a step without accessing something that was foreign for him, and I barely cared that it was my fault. How sick was Aoba san, then? I’m not sure if my anger stems from some kind of distorted pity or… fear for what this meant. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t show it.

I looked at how late it was, coil giving a contrasting glow most people would wince at. Such inconvenience wasn’t served for glass eyes. Flinching at sudden bright lights was foreign to me. Trip hadn’t given a message after the three hours of my absence, so I had sluggishly moved upstairs. As much as Aoba san could inconvenience me, a nice body to cuddle up against was still a welcoming thought.

The stairs felt rather long when I was this worn out, and the more I walked, the better it would be to finally kick Trip out. As the door closed in, so did the anger when I opened it. Strike one: Aoba san was awake. Strike two: Trip had ignored my order. Strike three: They were engaging in, well, fucking.

“Trip, you’re out.” I stated, zero patience left.

“Oh, you’re here?”. Trip said, separating from Aoba san’s crotch.

I was so fed up. I walked with heavy steps and pointed my gun right at him. This was to get undivided attention, nothing else to do with an unloaded weapon.

“Trip. Get out.”

They seemed quite confused, I didn’t expect anything else from Aoba san and no longer overestimated Trip’s intelligence.

“You’re serious?”

“V-virus, what are you-” He started, but halted back when I looked over.

“Aoba san. I see you’re out of the chains, how did you manage that?” I said, he looked back, very concerned, “Be that as it may, I recommend you stay where you are.”

I was about to smile until Aoba san approached me as a result of the dismissal

“No!”

Just great.

“Why the opposition? Was Trip that good at sucking your dick?” It seemed like that did the trick. He flinched in shame and retracted his footsteps till he stood in the corner. Hersha was within close approximation, so he couldn’t escape through the door. Must be experiencing a great deal of stress, but I’d deal with that nervous mess in a minute. I redirected my focus towards Trip.

“I’m getting tired of how you go against my words.”

“So… You’re seriously threatening me?” He said, unfazed.

Well, probably not. Shooting him would be terribly inefficient, and Aoba san would be hard to maintain alone. That being said, there was nothing better than getting a point across. It helped that they didn't know it was unloaded. I wasn't going to point it at Aoba san, though. I still felt slightly shaken up about the idea of shooting his knee.

“If you keep opposing me like this, you’re of no use to me.” With that, I put down my hand, “Leave.”

“How do I know Aoba is safe with you?”

He really wanted to die, didn’t he?

“I’d say you’ve hurt him much more than I have overall.” I started, but was cut off.

A thump was heard, crashing as he huffed. How predictable that Aoba san would try to escape in the middle of a conflict. 

“Oh, Aoba san?” I approached him slowly, wishing to instill as much fear as possible, “Did you think I wanted you out? How silly.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

Yes, sorry for getting caught. Always very sorry in the middle of punishment.

“I’ve been very forgiving towards all your actions this month, you do realize this? It’s okay if you’ve forgotten the things we’ve taught you. We’ll gladly take extra steps to remind you.”

Aoba san seemed terrified. Good, he should be. There’s many ways I can hurt him without violence, most have yet to be explored. I wanted it to remain that way. Trip didn’t seem interested in defending him for once.

“Stand,” I said, not bothering to remove Hersha, so it would take longer for him to wriggle his way out.

Aoba san pressed himself into the wall and averted his gaze the second he was freed.

“Walk to the bed.”

He flinched at my tone. It had slipped due to my unconventional state. I was so tired and felt reduced after having to wave a gun for attention. He moved slowly, with a very humbled appearance. Annoying as it was, this was the consequences of giving Aoba san a modicum of freedom.

“What are you going to do?” Trip asked, only slight worry was shown.

“You’re still here?”

Trip shrugged, “I never agreed to leaving.”

I let out a sigh, realizing there was only one way to negotiate. It was that or murder. “Let’s make a compromise. Finish your business with Aoba san, then leave.”

He seemed quiet, I wonder if there were any thoughts left in his head at all. This ordeal had been unneeded.

“What do you say, Aoba?”

“O-Okay.”

That’s a deal, then. At least it is unless Trip decides it’s not. To make sure there would be no drawbacks, I quickly took to dominating the attention.

“Aoba san, position yourself on the bed, and Trip, hurry up.”

“Virus, w-wait.”

Aoba san must be feeling liberated. As it looks now, he needed to undergo further discipline when we retu-

“Please join me.”

Now he’s back to the act. Too bad it wouldn't save him. Whatever he thinks to achieve won’t work, but my confidence and energy was so drained it was almost threatening nonetheless. Even the idea that this little… boy was frightening brought forth generous amounts of shame. Aoba san was going to get burnt if he kept acting like this.

“Aooba, what are you on about? It was supposed to be the two of us.”

Yes, listen to Trip for once. I might be unable to resist the temptations.

“It’s been long since you two did me at the same time… maybe if… we do it together, you’ll be more… united?”

I could only shame him for this, “Aoba san, what do you gain from being ravished at both ends? You’ve become such a perverted devia-”

“Virus, why are you shaming Aoba when he’s finally accepting us?”

Please, shut your mouth before I do it for you.

“I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I love you and Trip.”

I let out a deep sigh, walked over to Aoba san and, without warning, grabbed him by the hair. There was pleasure taken in seeing his distorted face withholding a cry, and Trip seemed to restrain any opposition towards me. No doubt because of the gun.

“Whatever little game you’re trying to play won’t work. I know this is a ploy to serve in some speculative plan to escape. You’re only chipping off privileges slowly, you do realize that?”

I’m positive this is the correct interpretation of his actions. As I whisper threats in his ear, I also made sure to dig my nails into his scalp. What initially felt good disappeared when I saw his stained cheeks, but that wasn’t reason to stop, only letting go after a good minute passed. As his head was freed, I took the opportunity to dry his face with my hand, not allowing Aoba san to remove himself from the situation.

“Don’t worry, Aoba. You can spend that love on me instead.”

Infuriating as it was to see Trip capitalizing on the situation, he was going to lose in the end. He was living out a fantasy. There wasn’t much to be said and I withdrew, despite the "offer". Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them lay down on the bed. As they kissed, I turned away. I wanted to block out the enthusiastic whispering and the sound of Trip's belt rustling before Aoba san let out a loud moan. I made my way back to the small table where Trip should’ve been when I returned. Staring out in the open, trying to cut off the moans. Their words to each other and Aoba san’s receptiveness. I longed for a newspaper or a glass of wine. It was hard to sit with my back turned to the moaning object of my affection. The responsibility was weighing me down, but I had to be a leader in this situation. Even so, his cries didn’t stop. Like Aoba san was mocking me personally. Was this another resourceful way he tried dividing us? The worst part was, I couldn’t punish him for proclaiming love. Especially if it was directed at me. Isn’t he clever.

Sitting with a dead stare only worsened the passage of time. My arousal increased every time a whimper was let out on the endless, creaking mattress. I wanted to curse myself for being so easily swayed. When I couldn’t handle it anymore, I finally retrieved to the bed. Trip was ignoring me, and Aoba san hadn’t acknowledged me. Is this what he meant when saying he’s getting “fucked”? I had no need for such words, it only demonstrated a lack of proper articulation. Aoba san seemed to mouth them silently as his hair moved to the rhythm, he seemed almost confused.

I took a strand in my mouth to test his reaction. He whimpered with a start, then turned in confusion. His eyes widened in surprise when he finally saw me.

“I changed my mind.” I blurted out.

His mouth opened slightly at the revelation, tempting me further. I slowly unzipped my pants and asked, “Are you happy?”

Aoba san seemed unsure of himself but quickly regained his weak composure. He took my dick in his hand and stroked it carefully. This too, felt mocking, as if I were fragile. He never dared touching me like he meant it.

“I thought you wanted this. Why are you playing coy?” I let go of the patience, curious to see the reaction.

“I-I don’t want…” He stammered and fumbled, looking for any excuse, “don’t want to hurt you.”

I slowly removed his hand and withdrew, lowering myself to his level, taking in the view of his heaving face. He had been whispering this whole time, as if not to disturb Trip. I wouldn’t hand out such care, “Aoba san. I’ll warn you again. This game of yours is transparent. Everything you do is transparent. I know, because this is the most transparent I’ve ever seen you.”

I felt the mattress stop creaking, looking to see Trip frowning.

“Virus, quiet. I’m trying to appreciate this.”

“I recommend you be a bit more careful, Trip.”

This was solid advice as much as it was a threat. Aoba san was trying to escape, he knew there would be no way out the second we stepped into our house. If against all odds, he did mean it, I could be humble. Not now. Trip was letting himself fall victim to Aoba san’s manipulative strategy. He was not being genuine.

Aoba san, still rocked against the bed, had nothing to say when grabbing hold of me again. His fingers made themselves around my dick fast. He was convincing. Superficial as it was, it still felt wonderful to see him act out a submissive yet assertive role.

I saw his mouth agape, folding around me nicely. The encompassing warmth made me shiver a little. The hair around him moved a bit with his head, and his lower body was being put to good use as well. He did seem content, and that made me happy. It’s not like I thrive off his misery, quite the opposite, I love seeing him satisfied. It’s just that he rarely acts that way for good reason.

I could hear his muffled moans and pulled him off as gently as possible, needing to hear his voice clearly. Plus, I didn’t want to cum prematurely when I just started. Aoba san really got me into it, like always. Bet his goal was to get it over with quickly, yet he did appear very glad when Trip kept thrusting.

“Ah…a…” He jerked as his voice loosened.

“Aoba…”

Aoba san became unfocused, turning his head up towards Trip. He seemed ensnared, almost high.

“Tr-”

Before he could even start saying his name, I shoved him back onto my dick. It twitched against the vibrated sound. It wasn’t usually a bad thing for him to call out the name of someone else, but when I’m in a bad mood it doesn’t satisfy, to put it lightly. Having been compared, or rather, mentally replaced with that brutish friend of his had insulted me.

Aoba san hadn’t wasted time. I finally allowed myself to sink into the pleasure. Like this, he couldn’t call out names. What a relief. With this amount of tending to, he wouldn’t be able to think of anyone other than us, either.

“You’re doing a wonderful job.” I applauded with sincerity.

It felt so good. I reckon he was trying as hard as possible. His gaze seemed dream-like, trying to exchange looks between the two of us. I had to keep it together.

“Aoba san…” I finally let myself gasp for air.

His face only got redder the more time went by. If only I could make this last forever, but that was impossible. I’m sure it would get boring sooner or later, that’s what I tried telling myself. Nevertheless, it was still unimaginably good, his mouth was skilled enough to make me believe his acting for a split second.

I had to punish him for going this far.

“A-aoba!” Trip moaned out, ecstasy engendering his being.

He had been thoroughly manipulated by Aoba san, it seems. This meant I was the sole responsible left. Trip couldn’t be trusted anymore. I didn’t look forward to doing his work.

Maybe it was my head, but I swore Aoba san had mouthed Trip’s name around my cock. I shook his head harder because of that. “Mph!” Was everything he could say.

The sensation of his muffled voice blew me away. He kept going, barely allowed air, and started to tear up. I was unable to tune out Trip’s groaning, understanding he had reached his peak. I think Trip was pulling out of him now. Finished inside, naturally. Aoba san lifted a hand against me, protesting the hard labor on his throat.

His nails were frail, one broke at the tip as they pressed against my arm. I was too close with finishing to withdraw now. I chocked Aoba san as a side effect of my oncoming orgasm, keeping him still whilst making sure he swallowed everything. I’m sure he’d avert his gaze if his eyes weren’t shut from the pressure. His own muscles contracted in his throat, furthering a euphoric sensation. His nose ran. I only freed him when he had shown genuine fear and paleness. Other than that, his pain went unnoticed.

He deserved the discomfort after all the schemes he’d obviously laid out over the last couple of weeks. The least I could do was make sure he didn’t enjoy seducing me for ulterior motives. After this inconvenience, I was going to collect another sample of his blood and retake that whole test to see the results without traces of burnt food and painkillers. That’s why I gave him the opportunity to go outside, to determine if he could be sober. It was abundantly clear that Aoba san hadn’t built up an allergy, after all. If the test was negative, then Aoba san could kiss his conscious state goodbye for the rest of the drive. It was shameful, really. So many people met with a gruesome end due to the smallest mistake of granting him minimal autonomy. Very decent people, truly.

“Aoba, you look pale, what happened?”

It was harder to ignore his heaving when Trip had broken the silence. Aoba san was wrecked, broken down completely from my treatment. I had started to regret it as he coughed up spit. He should’ve bitten me if it was that bad.

“Aoba san?”

He turned his head and smirked, “So… _cough,_ you really can fuck me if you want to, or what, Virus?”

I remained still, slightly flustered; slightly intrigued.

“…Sly blue?” I inquired, not having seen this particular attitude in a long time.

Aoba san merely shook his head, crawling onto all fours to cough up any cum stuck in his throat. Trip had approached and trussed his hair away from his face. I was going to ask him to breathe, but felt it would be lost within the irony. God, I messed him up more than intended. I needed to sleep better, or maybe drink better. Whichever fueled this lack of control.

“Aoba san, you shouldn’t have gotten in the way.”

“What? So instead you’d kill each other and send me to platinum jail?”

I hadn’t heard that name spoken out loud in a long time. It hit me when Aoba san said it so casually. I viewed Trip’s reaction, which as always was void. He barely showed emotion unless Aoba san was involved. Didn’t even try faking a reaction when he should.

“Aoba san, you must understand tha-”

“Understand that he attempted to draw attention to himself. If he wanted me dead, there wouldn’t have been a warning.”

I disliked the way he cut me off, however, getting agitated would merely make me seem powerless. I confirmed his statement, “Precisely. In the rare cases where I do kill someone, they get no time to defend themselves.” I smiled, hoping the strain didn’t give away that I hated to kill.

“…Alright.” Aoba san laid down, or rather, collapsed.

His mellow yet worried answer made me a bit hesitant. I remember how brutally that man got eliminated. It was a first to make the allmate do it. I wouldn’t have done it that way a month ago. The more I think about it, the more it looks like Aoba san really did do something to me the night before the murders took place. When I woke afterwards, he was still asleep. He was unconscious for far too long, and it wasn’t a physical condition in the traditional sense. While recollecting prior events, I had hoped we were finally alone, but Trip informed otherwise. I felt dread when I found people from my “unit” there. They had to be brainwashed or killed the moment they spotted me. The whole “you liar”, “traitor” or “monster” was due, as it naturally was in my _actual_ branch of work. I had hoped they wouldn’t have pursued, that Toue wasn’t influential, but there was nothing to do about it. They weren’t going to be conscious much longer.

“You know, we hope such a gruesome event won’t repeat itself.”

Aoba san peered up, stunned by the idea. Did he think it couldn’t happen again? Either way, his reaction was enough to assert dread in his being. He knew what I was referencing, and the probability of it being utilized as punishment again. Cruel, but effective. There was a chance he’d shed a tear in the next minutes. He hadn’t seen much blood in his life, to suddenly see live mauling must’ve traumatized him further. Likely, he wanted to evade the idea of the event completely.

“You have the power to prevent it from happening again. Remember that.” Trip had said, lightly patting Aoba san’s back.

“If you behave, no more people will have to die.” I added, conjuring up a calm demeanor.

Aoba san positioned the pillows on the end of the bed and rested his head. It wasn’t revolutionary, but after intercourse he’d usually need help doing the most basic of things. If left to his own devices, he’d stay in the position we left him in and cry. The way he moved now was so natural and fluent that it could’ve been a different person. I was unsure of how to interpret this behavior. 

“Well, I’ll take my leave now.” Trip said after finishing looming over him.

“Y-You can’t stay?” Aoba san responded.

I’d been through this before. There was no point getting mad, it got me nowhere. Since Aoba san wouldn’t listen to threats, I’d resign myself to a more leisurely approach.

“Aoba san, you recognize Trip needs to watch out for Toue, right? We’ve been switching back and forth.”

I put my hand on his face, eyes looked drowsy, “Y-Yes.” He replied.

Trip gave Aoba san a sickly sweet smile and finally removed himself. Aoba san sat himself up and exchanged a final kiss as they separated. He looked one more time across the room before closing the door. Aoba san had lingered, head wobbling in the air.

I wondered whether or not it would be good to retake that test now. It changed everything when Trip informed me he used fentanyl to solve Aoba san’s pain when we drove off. I entrusted Aoba san to Trip after what happened. Somehow, that was better than him staying with me. Had I known Trip lacked the sense to start with Tylenol, then my mindset would’ve been different.

“Virus…” Aoba san said, softly.

“What is it?” I answered with full attention.

“Y-You’re sighing…”

I gave him a soft smile and placed him gently down on the bed again. His eyes were a bit wide at first, but he eased up soon. I brushed his locks away to make sure we had established eye contact.

“After the ‘name’ incident,” I started, Aoba san had flinched at once, it remained ignored, “Trip used a strong opioid on you. Multiple times, even after we had to leave home. He didn’t tell me which one it was, and I had been occupied with many other things. When I took the test back there, it was still in your system. It corrupted the test completely.”

Aoba san drew back a bit. He averted his eyes. His hand was clutching the sheet.

“What’s the matter? It’s good that the test was false, it means you might as well close your eyes and wake up back home. No more stress with all the chases and murders.”

“I’d like to stay awake…” He hesitated.

“Yes, I thought you’d say that. Look at it this way: no more people will die because of your attempts to run away.”

Was it a tad harsh? Yes, but this was a necessary point to make. Aoba san’s actions caused us to resort to murder on a whim, and he needed to comprehend that fact.

“Yet, you haven’t retaken it yet. Maybe I do have an allergy.” He glared slightly due to my comment, doing everything to restrain himself.

I chuckled over his ignorance. His grandmother used to feed him drugs powerful enough to suppress his memories without hurting his brain. That in itself gave an idea that he was amazingly resilient. When he popped those pills in front of us back in Midorijima it made me flinch when I realized it wasn’t a typical painkiller. It was good in a sense, though. Aoba san would be oblivious to his own abilities, he was safe.

“Aoba san. You used to take strong pills every day. I thought it had finally accumulated into an intolerance, and luckily I was wrong.”

He looked solemnly up, as if withholding tears. Aoba san realized it was over for him.

“I-I only wanted to see the sun, Virus.”

“…And you thought you’d earned that?”

Aoba san no longer held himself as confidently. If he didn’t understand his disobedience, then he utterly needed reeducation. One day he’d witness the sun, but that day was far away.

“No…” He said, looking at me again, “B-But it’s so essential that I just have to. Even if I was being disobedient you must understand! Why do you think I beg for death, Virus? There's nothing happening around me! Every day, I sit in an empty room and wait for you to return and punish me for the slightest misdemeano-”

“Calm yourself.” I spoke lowly. I couldn’t stand listening to this.

Instead of stopping, he started crying especially much because of something so insignificant. If he hadn’t tried running earlier tonight, he wouldn’t have to be drugged down. Maybe he would have even seen the sun. We also tried giving him entertainment to fill in our absence, yet he never utilized any of it. I was too tired to argue.

“Why?” He said, his sadness started to look like anger,

“You expect me to reward your disobedience, Aoba san? Fufu, don’t be absurd. You tried escaping twice today. I owe you nothing and you should be grateful for my leniency, especially after all the trouble you’ve caused.”

“I-I-”

“This conversation is over. I will wake you up and retake it tomorrow morning, and when it proves negative, you can have a glass of water and go back to sleep.”

I thought for sure he’d start bawling, but he had quickly accepted his loss and turned his back to me. For once, I felt a little sorry. I didn’t want to hurt him like this, but he kept misbehaving in the worst of times. This act of his wasn’t doing any favors either. In fact…

“So, Aoba san, do you still love me?”

He was quiet. I felt triumphant in the silent sniffling, until, “…I know you don’t believe me, trust me, I don’t want to either… but I really do. yes.”

It was impressive how dedicated he was to the role. “Then turn around and say it in full.” I said.

His shoulder trembled lightly as I touched him. Aoba san tried steadying his breathing and slowly supported himself with an arm to roll back over.

“Virus, I love you.” He gritted his teeth to withstand the lie.

“Well, then you should know I love you too, Aoba san. That’s why you need to understand that we’re escaping a dangerous person for your sake. We’re doing all this for the cause of protecting you.”

I was patronizing on purpose, but there was truth to my words. We allowed him to live a carefree life, protected him systematically from afar, and when he failed to keep himself safe, we took him as a result. Aoba san had finally become quiet. He must’ve wanted to escape the only way he now could; sleep. It was good that he finally decided to rest.

“S-Stay the rest of the night. I need someone to be here.” He suddenly said, I felt a small twinge of butterflies.

Easing up slightly, I said, “Of course. I’m done working, after all.” I let myself smile and ruffled his hair. He was receptive enough and showed a faint smile that hid a lot of the pain. His eyes closed and it didn’t take long for him to settle into sleep as he stayed against me. “Goodnight, Aoba san…”

When this was all over, I’d do my best to treat him better. Right now, that wasn’t possible. I watched him sleep for a while, his disobedience knew no bounds. He'd do anything to escape, wouldn't he? Aoba san might’ve somehow done a thing with scrap too, something minor. I’d wait until the situation had calmed before drawing any conclusions. It was strange. There was an eerie feeling lingering in the air, like there were something in the room watching, something that couldn’t be killed, or maybe the idea that Aoba san would get hurt if he started dreaming. I wanted to open his eyes and check if worms were crawling inside them. I had no idea why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Aoba. He's really done for now. I threw in a small reference to the anime ova, where Aoba wakes up with Virus and Trip at the end. It would be interesting if he did have nightmares like those. I also made Trip a bit of an opportunist in this chapter. He's probably exploiting the situation on purpose, but does he really believe Aoba? 
> 
> I want to make Virus frustrated enough to do things he normally wouldn't do, like waving around a gun, or become visibly angry without being too OOC. Hope I succeeded. Virus is really hard to write considering how little screen time he has, furthered by the fact that we never see his point of view. Most of his motivations are left up to interpretation. I thought about making him really hateful, considering Trip implies he's hateful in his bad end. I tried mixing that in with a superficial outlook on life and a sense of superiority, only having a slight soft spot for Aoba. He generally strikes me as the type to consider himself above others, as well as rationalizing his abuse.
> 
> Thank you for reading so far, I'll try to keep it up!


End file.
